(no subject)
I'm really sick of being the token loser. I'm always the one who hears about the parties the next day. I hear the funny stories the next day. I hear the inside jokes (and don't understand them) the next day.
It's Halloween. My mom went out and bought me really pretty fairy wings so I'd have a costume. I bought colorful eyeliner and cool false eyelashes. But no one has invited me anywhere, so there's nowhere to wear any of it.
Sarah's going to a party. Even Kaytren's going to a party. And what am I doing? I'm in my pajamas at 8:15 and I'm writing in my livejournal about how I don't have a party to go to. Kaytren has some REALLY annoying song from some REALLY annoying Tarantino flick on REPEAT (seventh time so far) and I'm just hoping she gets ready really fast. Sarah's getting ready in Kelly's room. And I'm...here. Not getting ready for anything.
I'm not saying I want to be a party girl. I just feel like I'm missing out on a lot of collegey things. I'm missing out on a lot of bonding opportunities. I just feel like a real loser right now.
I'm realizing that I'm more and more like the character I played in a silent film at Gov. School. I was a girl who didn't go to parties, didn't get involved in activities, didn't go to prom...but helped her friends get ready for the prom, told them to have fun at the parties, etc...I don't want to be that way. I can't stand being anti-social because I need people so badly. I just wish I felt like people needed me.
It's Halloween. My mom went out and bought me really pretty fairy wings so I'd have a costume. I bought colorful eyeliner and cool false eyelashes. But no one has invited me anywhere, so there's nowhere to wear any of it.
Sarah's going to a party. Even Kaytren's going to a party. And what am I doing? I'm in my pajamas at 8:15 and I'm writing in my livejournal about how I don't have a party to go to. Kaytren has some REALLY annoying song from some REALLY annoying Tarantino flick on REPEAT (seventh time so far) and I'm just hoping she gets ready really fast. Sarah's getting ready in Kelly's room. And I'm...here. Not getting ready for anything.
I'm not saying I want to be a party girl. I just feel like I'm missing out on a lot of collegey things. I'm missing out on a lot of bonding opportunities. I just feel like a real loser right now.
I'm realizing that I'm more and more like the character I played in a silent film at Gov. School. I was a girl who didn't go to parties, didn't get involved in activities, didn't go to prom...but helped her friends get ready for the prom, told them to have fun at the parties, etc...I don't want to be that way. I can't stand being anti-social because I need people so badly. I just wish I felt like people needed me.