(no subject)
i want to go home. i'm so sick of the rent issues. steven is so ANNOYING! it's really getting to the point that i can't stand him. steven's mom is really nice...but honestly $500 a month? it's just a little ridiculous. just a little. i feel like i can't ever save enough for any of the things i need like new brakes or college applications because by the time i get a considerable amount i have to give it up for rent and i'm left with like 20 bucks. for gas. i haven't even bought cigarettes today. i'm trying to quit. not because it's a healthy choice...but because it's an economic one. at least i have brandon. i'm not alone you know? i really want to see if my dad would let me move back in. i'd pay him rent...just not as much as i'm paying now. and then i could go to school for the spring semester and live on campus. i'd be gone by february. he won't sell the house and move in that little time. i'm just not ready to be on my own like this right now. i don't have enough skill to get a good enough paying job for it. i don't make enough money to really support myself and it really frustrates me. i'll probably never talk to my dad about it and just deal with it for as long as i can because i am determined to prove myself. it's just really hard. sometimes i wish i had never left michigan. i know my mom and i didn't get along...but if i had stayed there i'd probably still be dancing and i'd be in school and i wouldn't have these problems. it just makes me mad that i fucked up so bad and made things so hard for myself. i have to work through it because that's part of being responsible...but it fucking sucks sometimes. at least i have my friends. that's always comforting.
1. i really appreciate what you do for me.
2. i still think you're gross.
3. i didn't mean to blow you off i just passed out.
4. it's been days since i've seen you and i miss you more than you can possibly know.
5. i drive by your house in the mornings when i smoke and a little part of me always wishes you would see me and come say hi and then i realize how much i really don't want that to happen.
6. i think you're ripping me off but i can't say a goddamn thing about it.
7. i love you but i hate it when you parent me.
8. i hate your guts and so do most other people. grow up. or take ridilin. you need something.
9. i wish you loved me enough to take care of me like a parent should.
10. i think you're a bad person for letting him treat me the way he does. i guess there's a reason you don't have kids.
1. i really appreciate what you do for me.
2. i still think you're gross.
3. i didn't mean to blow you off i just passed out.
4. it's been days since i've seen you and i miss you more than you can possibly know.
5. i drive by your house in the mornings when i smoke and a little part of me always wishes you would see me and come say hi and then i realize how much i really don't want that to happen.
6. i think you're ripping me off but i can't say a goddamn thing about it.
7. i love you but i hate it when you parent me.
8. i hate your guts and so do most other people. grow up. or take ridilin. you need something.
9. i wish you loved me enough to take care of me like a parent should.
10. i think you're a bad person for letting him treat me the way he does. i guess there's a reason you don't have kids.