say goodbye, it'll make me want to kiss you.
okay, i got bored.
from anon_lovefest.
Spencer is genuinely surprised when he hears yelling coming from the back lounge.
Not the actual act of yelling itself, he's become pretty used to that over the past few weeks - maybe months, he's lost count of how long - but rather who's doing it.
It's Brendon yelling at Ryan, and that, that's something he's not heard in a long time. Ryan's the one with the short fuse, who'll pick an arguement with the least cause, and Brendon's role is to just accept it, to wait for him to work through it and know that it was nothing serious.
It never is with them normally - it's just yet another show in the series that has become their lives. Spencer sometimes wonders if either of them can truly stop performing, even behind closed doors.
However, this is a break from the status quo, and a potentially devestating one at that - Ryan must really have pushed Brendon too far if he's provoked him into getting angry.
Spencer can't make out what he's saying, just the weeks of anger and frustration pouring out, a seemingly unstoppable force. All things must come to an end though, and everything is quiet for a moment before Brendon storms out of the room, the anger darkening his features failing to obscure the sheer exhaustion. Ryan comes to the doorway, and if Spencer didn't know any better he'd say Ryan's stance is almost timid, unsure. "Bren," he says, and there's a definite uncertainty in his tone, but Brendon ignores it. "No, not now," he replies shortly, walking out and slamming the door behind him.
Ryan collapses on the sofa next to Spencer, and Spencer can't remember the last time he saw him look so tired.
"I hurt him Spence," Ryan says quietly, "I didn't realise I had the capacity, the power to hurt him that badly."
Spencer desperately wants to say something to lighten this mood, the intensity that's drowned this moment, but he can't force the words past his lips. This is not what Ryan needs, he needs to rationalise it in his own mind, to figure out why he's pushing Brendon away, why he let him so close in the first place. Or at least that's what Spencer thinks the silence means.
"The worst thing though was even as I was saying it, meaning it to hurt, it was torture for me to do it. I love him, so much so that sometimes I wake up in the dead of night and it just fucking aches. It might kill me, might kill him, but we need to be together. We never got a choice."
from anon_lovefest.
Spencer is genuinely surprised when he hears yelling coming from the back lounge.
Not the actual act of yelling itself, he's become pretty used to that over the past few weeks - maybe months, he's lost count of how long - but rather who's doing it.
It's Brendon yelling at Ryan, and that, that's something he's not heard in a long time. Ryan's the one with the short fuse, who'll pick an arguement with the least cause, and Brendon's role is to just accept it, to wait for him to work through it and know that it was nothing serious.
It never is with them normally - it's just yet another show in the series that has become their lives. Spencer sometimes wonders if either of them can truly stop performing, even behind closed doors.
However, this is a break from the status quo, and a potentially devestating one at that - Ryan must really have pushed Brendon too far if he's provoked him into getting angry.
Spencer can't make out what he's saying, just the weeks of anger and frustration pouring out, a seemingly unstoppable force. All things must come to an end though, and everything is quiet for a moment before Brendon storms out of the room, the anger darkening his features failing to obscure the sheer exhaustion. Ryan comes to the doorway, and if Spencer didn't know any better he'd say Ryan's stance is almost timid, unsure. "Bren," he says, and there's a definite uncertainty in his tone, but Brendon ignores it. "No, not now," he replies shortly, walking out and slamming the door behind him.
Ryan collapses on the sofa next to Spencer, and Spencer can't remember the last time he saw him look so tired.
"I hurt him Spence," Ryan says quietly, "I didn't realise I had the capacity, the power to hurt him that badly."
Spencer desperately wants to say something to lighten this mood, the intensity that's drowned this moment, but he can't force the words past his lips. This is not what Ryan needs, he needs to rationalise it in his own mind, to figure out why he's pushing Brendon away, why he let him so close in the first place. Or at least that's what Spencer thinks the silence means.
"The worst thing though was even as I was saying it, meaning it to hurt, it was torture for me to do it. I love him, so much so that sometimes I wake up in the dead of night and it just fucking aches. It might kill me, might kill him, but we need to be together. We never got a choice."