"Picnic by the motorway"
Halo there new people if you happen to be reading this.
*tap danced, jazz handed, overly elaborate welcome*
I have no doubt that you will come to find me deeply dull and de add me, because my mind is a pessimistic place of paranoia like that at the best of times, and I am writing this right now after about 3 hours sleep -tired me is not stable me.
For now though you are here, and I am terribly glaaaaad.
:D
Some things about myself?
-I am not white
-I live with my mother and two younger brothers on a council estate (dirt poor) in a fair bit of dysfunction.
-I have a degree in Psychology that I haven't yet found the courage to use - I work in a supermarket at the moment, am trying to value myself enough for initiative to do something 'better' but it's hard going.
-I squee alot. I lol alot. I fail and flail alot.
-I do use this journal as somewhere to go with my feelings alot because god knows I have too many of them, (brane whirring all the time, all the time, all the), and god knows they have to go somewhere but don't worry I will cut them where I can so you can ignore them if you wants.
Back to Life? Back to Reality
You know that thing when you've got so much junk in your house and absolutely no means of transportation to take it all to a charity shop or whatnot and you start seriously considering a bonfire and then you realise you might have actual faxx gone (ship sailed long ago) insane.
A BONFIRE SELF?
Lol seriously when has a bonfire ever been a serious, non sinister, remedy to any problem. hahahahahahaha BURN IT!! BURN IT TO THE GROUND!! It just seems so extreme. All the same I don't know what to do with it and I know I need to sort this place out.
God knows my mother isn't going to do it.
*sigh*
I spent my Valentine's Day in classic spinsterish style by going to the cinema with my brother.
I WIN RIGHT. I didn't even lie when lots of nosey people at work asked me if I'd be spending it with someone special...lol 'someone special'.
We saw Titanic in 3D because I got free tickets and yeah, Titanic - my it's an irritating film in several respects don't get me wrong, but watching it again in a cinema again, forced to really sit still and watch it all and take it all in I really worked out what I do like about it.
The obviously heavy handed, over the top feminist comment is pretty worthy, (apart from the bit where Rose annoyingly grrrrrr so annoyingly refers to Titanic as a slave ship, yes because you as a middle upper class woman are totes like a slave Rose, you know apart from your fine art collection and your freedom - even if it is v limited.) Also it's pleasingly gender re jigged in places, like Jack is the one who trembles when they fuck and you know it's Rose who pursues the sex generally anyway.
also Leonardo DiCaprio is bewitching
O self stoppit he's not attractive. Lol I r think he is though.
What is most special about the film though is the expansive richness of the world it creates. It's a believable world because its so sumptuous and gorgeous and detailed. It really tries to show you exactly how everything happened. Like all classes of people responsible for the running of the ship are documented. You see their faces and get quite sustained flashes of their lives and activities and when they die or are in peril I find I felt for them.
I mean poor Murdoch's face when he's told that the ship is going to sink.
Yes I admit it, I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
Not at the end really but leading up to it, all those lives and those people gone.
*sigh*
Anyway I'm off to distract myself from violence with something, I dunno what?