Oh the lolz. The front cover of the Argus (local paper) today, read, "Attack of the Starlings" and it has had me in hysterics all day. The story was that the posh and fancy homes on the seafront have been bombarded by starling shite. Now this makes me lol because that's hardly an attack by the starlings is it? It's not an assault when a bird shits on your head is it? It's the bird doing it's business whilst you were in the way the bird wasn't intending to get you.
Only the most paranoid person/newspaper desperate for headlines, would equate birds doing their bidness with an attack on them.
Will people never stop personifying animals?
It make no sense.
Also I feel they missed a trick because the headline really should have been some variant on,
STAARGHLINGS or Staaaaaaaaahrlings.
Just to get the full Hitchcock's The Birds type vibe that they should have been aiming for.
Of course I will be laughing over the other side of my face when this turns out to be the first movement in the Starlings hostile takeover of Earth but at the moment that to me is a ridiculous non event taking up the front page of a city wide newspaper and that makes me lol.
BTW ARGUS EDITOR, BIRDS SHIT EVERYDAY ONTO VARIOUS HEADS AND HOUSES, IT'S NOT SUDDENLY NEWS WHEN THEY SHIT ON POSH PEOPLE'S HEADS AND HOUSES.
Another thing that amuses me is that that area of the town in particular (cos we get them round ours too) is already home to a very large amount of Seagulls and Pidgeons, so I don't know why the residents are so pissed off by starlings? Those other birds shite on your houses too guiz. Is Starling shite made out of plutonium or acid compared to Pigeon and Seagull shite or something?
I mean Seagulls are far larger than Starlings are and in conjunction with the masses and masses of Pigeons they are constantly making noise and making a nuisance of themselves.
I mean
as a for instance,
this is your average seagull behaviour.
Even if you have no cats in your area.
YOUR BINS WILL BE PWNED!!!!!!
LOL I love Seagulls so much they are such cheeky motherfuckers. I once watched one tru faxx steal a styrofoam tray of chips from the hands of a girl on the Pier. It just swooped in and swooped off again. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL.
My point is that if you have the money and willingness to clean up the tons of other birds shit why take exception to the Starling?
I should buy the paper tomorrow and see if it answers my questions but I doubt it will, I expect that the Argus will just expect us to forget seagulls and pigeons or to accept that starlings are worse. That paper is nothing but a disappointment. If what they do is journalism then WHY DOES ANYONE WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST?? I don't know.
In other news I am enjoying all the Polish goods in the supermarket. today I bought carrot and raspberry juice and it's totally yummers why is it that the English don't make Carrot and Raspberry juice??
Awwwwwwww look at the bebe Seagull
Awwwwwwwww I love animales.
but seriously being all cute like that is only part of it's attack strategy. It's brane beneath that downy, fuzzy covering of feather is full of a desire to eat stuff out of your bins AAAAAATAAAAAAAACK!!!!
So be on your guard!!!