'Tis The Season To Be Damned.

[lukifer1129]

Cold, wintry days. Download Staind - Spleen; it's the newest song to the soundtrack of my life. I really don't know what's going on anymore, I truly don't. It's incredible how quickly life can change sometimes -- it's still the same song and yeah, it's pretty fucked up. The contempt is slowly growing and meanwhile I'm disintegrating. And maybe that same numbness that you possess towards me is growing on me too. I could sense the truth in your voice and you threw it all away. I probably should have known; it's too late for anything now. Forever ruined, from someone who supposedly loved me. My dad has been really sick for quite a while now -- throwing up constantly, and thus not eating or drinking for many days. Tomorrow morning he's going into the hospital finally barring his condition doesn't worsen tonight. I'm pretty sure they'll admit him pretty soon anyway. He was getting noticably better since I came home and now he's heading in the opposite direction. I really don't know... Within a week I'll be back at Geneseo and I don't think I belong there right now; unfortunately the fleeting remainder of my hope for happiness lies there. It could be good for me, but I'm really in no shape to function normally nor pretend to be. I must know the truth of life -- no surprises, and I'm getting closer to everything everyday. It's pretty fucking bleak. As my heart slowly corrodes away, I have not a reason; I am losing touch with healthy emotion, love, and what it means to be a human being. I am alone, feeling nothing but the essence of pure misery. Almost there. No one fucks with me and gets away with it -- you'll all pay for it in the end, I assure you.

I look at the crossand I look away,

Give you the gun blow me away.