(no subject)
Fallen apart, alone and drowning. Today he was diagnosed with more cancer, but the doctors say that they've chased it as far as they can go and there's not much else they can do. Surgery could completely debilitate him or even kill him. Supposedly the tumor is growing inward this time because there's no tissue left, growing toward his spinal cord. They're meeting the oncologist tomorrow to see some sort of drug that is used to treat bone cancer in teenagers. Everything is going away. I won't wake up from all of this tomorrow. I can't stop crying. Everything won't be fine again, today wasn't just an unbearable dream. It hurts so incredibly bad. Realizing that my dad is dying, that time together might be limited... God I can't write. I can't do this anymore.