THE END and unhappy forever!
I am dieing inside to think that I know how my life will turn out. I am in a dream trying to wake up from it. But every day is the same. I wake up hoping that maybe things will be better in my life. However I keep on dreaming cause I know that this is how it will forever be. I am trying to understand why the way things are right now. Not a day goes by do I think about this bird. Flying away into the distance, all I can think about is this bird which will forever haunt me. I am in denial cause I know that I can't wake up from my dream. I am in a state of confusion not know what to think. For all I think of is this bird flying away forever into the unknown. Sometimes I wake up hoping that maybe this bird will be there for me. But I know that it is a dream I can't wake up from.
I lay awake thinking that my life will only become another mixed up dream. The world is inperfect and I am lost in the tagle mess to understand it all. I live a useless life, not smart to know that this is my life. The hate that builds inside will only show that I am weak. I feel like I am an old person alone with out anyone or anything to live for. I live my life not knowing what will happen. I live for no one any more cause I know that I will only forever hurt from my past pain. To be alone is one thing, to be hurt for the rest of my life losing all hope of the future at hand. I live a boring useless life sinking into the quick sand as the days go by feeling all feelinga and losing all hope. I wish I could find a reason to live a better life but I have no reason any more. I am done caring about myself and for the others who seem to give me half a chance to prove myself. The hate and anger builds as I know what to expect. I am losing my trust for others who think they can get the best of me. Everyday is a step into the dark for I dont see the light I should see. I feel like turning to the dark side of my life again. To the unknown I will go stepping into the darkness with no one to care for me.
Hate and anger is my frustration, I feel like Anakin Skywalker stepping closer and closer to the dark side of the force. I feel confused and lost. The fact that caring and having love has lost my sight will only prove me to fall deeper and deeper. I am going to fall down and stumble untill I am either helped or learn from my lost. I am in a dream cause I want my life to be better and it only proves to be a flaw. All in all I am losing sight of anything and everything that once meant a reason to live. I hate my life and who has made me hate it cause it will only prove that I can't win and losing is the only option in my life. Leave me alone and know that this is the last time I speak about my horrid life. I live in aggoney and defeat cause I know that this is what I will always be. Untill I am forgiven for all my faults I lie here in this dream world stunned with hate, fear, disbelief that my life was once great and the bird flys away only to prove I lose it all over and over again.
I am done with the useless life and wish to be in a better place than what we call earth. I only find rest and calmness in my dreams for there I know what my life is meant to be. In this reality we call earth I think only hate and pain cause I know that this is who i am and hate this life I live. Someone come and take me away from this pain and hate, cause I am done caring for the uncarable in this reality I live. Why am I so alone and lost not knowing what to think of my life cause I know this will only lead me to doubt who and what I am. I am not going any where nor do I care to make the effort to live a better life. Cause I know here is my home losing all hope. I see why I am alone cause I fear the world which I come to love. I fear the friends around me not knowing when they will leave me. I am alone to think that I will every be happy. I am at my end not knowing what to think or do. I hide all my emotion and feelings only to let it burst out in these words I speak now.
Everytime I think all I feel is fear and the fact that I am losing alot of myself as the days go by. I am here won't someone speak to me and care for me, I doubt myself and everyone around me. I have come to understand this is what I am to everyone useless and uncared for. Fine you won't see me caring any more what so ever. Denial is all I feel cause I am dead. So be it.........I don't care anymore for anyone, for love, for others, I care for myself and will forever hate this world I live in cause I wont ever be happy! I hate you so much! Leave my feelings alone cause I know that I hate you for it so much, why can't I change. I see this world as pure crap. Maybe its better that I live alone for the rest of my god forsaken life. Cause I know that I am too much for any person to be around. Feel me and my hate! I am done!
I lay awake thinking that my life will only become another mixed up dream. The world is inperfect and I am lost in the tagle mess to understand it all. I live a useless life, not smart to know that this is my life. The hate that builds inside will only show that I am weak. I feel like I am an old person alone with out anyone or anything to live for. I live my life not knowing what will happen. I live for no one any more cause I know that I will only forever hurt from my past pain. To be alone is one thing, to be hurt for the rest of my life losing all hope of the future at hand. I live a boring useless life sinking into the quick sand as the days go by feeling all feelinga and losing all hope. I wish I could find a reason to live a better life but I have no reason any more. I am done caring about myself and for the others who seem to give me half a chance to prove myself. The hate and anger builds as I know what to expect. I am losing my trust for others who think they can get the best of me. Everyday is a step into the dark for I dont see the light I should see. I feel like turning to the dark side of my life again. To the unknown I will go stepping into the darkness with no one to care for me.
Hate and anger is my frustration, I feel like Anakin Skywalker stepping closer and closer to the dark side of the force. I feel confused and lost. The fact that caring and having love has lost my sight will only prove me to fall deeper and deeper. I am going to fall down and stumble untill I am either helped or learn from my lost. I am in a dream cause I want my life to be better and it only proves to be a flaw. All in all I am losing sight of anything and everything that once meant a reason to live. I hate my life and who has made me hate it cause it will only prove that I can't win and losing is the only option in my life. Leave me alone and know that this is the last time I speak about my horrid life. I live in aggoney and defeat cause I know that this is what I will always be. Untill I am forgiven for all my faults I lie here in this dream world stunned with hate, fear, disbelief that my life was once great and the bird flys away only to prove I lose it all over and over again.
I am done with the useless life and wish to be in a better place than what we call earth. I only find rest and calmness in my dreams for there I know what my life is meant to be. In this reality we call earth I think only hate and pain cause I know that this is who i am and hate this life I live. Someone come and take me away from this pain and hate, cause I am done caring for the uncarable in this reality I live. Why am I so alone and lost not knowing what to think of my life cause I know this will only lead me to doubt who and what I am. I am not going any where nor do I care to make the effort to live a better life. Cause I know here is my home losing all hope. I see why I am alone cause I fear the world which I come to love. I fear the friends around me not knowing when they will leave me. I am alone to think that I will every be happy. I am at my end not knowing what to think or do. I hide all my emotion and feelings only to let it burst out in these words I speak now.
Everytime I think all I feel is fear and the fact that I am losing alot of myself as the days go by. I am here won't someone speak to me and care for me, I doubt myself and everyone around me. I have come to understand this is what I am to everyone useless and uncared for. Fine you won't see me caring any more what so ever. Denial is all I feel cause I am dead. So be it.........I don't care anymore for anyone, for love, for others, I care for myself and will forever hate this world I live in cause I wont ever be happy! I hate you so much! Leave my feelings alone cause I know that I hate you for it so much, why can't I change. I see this world as pure crap. Maybe its better that I live alone for the rest of my god forsaken life. Cause I know that I am too much for any person to be around. Feel me and my hate! I am done!