Brain
I think I'm getting dumber.
Actively.
It's not so much that I feel like going "DURRRRR" all the time. Not that anyone but Cartman really thinks that evidences that someone is stupid.
It's that I'm not retaining things like I used to.
Take this week. I am almost positive that I have something to do tomorrow. Something important. Something that I really shouldn't be forgetting.
Last week. I told Yady that I would go to Joey's b-day party on Saturday. I wake up Saturday, run some errands, come home, and start settling in, and it's only because I hopped on facebook before I took a shower that I found out I'd forgotten anything. It may well have passed completely without me having any idea it happened until a few days later when I thought about it and texted her to see when it was..."Oh, that was last week, I was wondering where you were."
I cannot for the life of me think what I'm supposed to do tomorrow that is at all important. Even accounting for things that were just on my "do soon" mental list, like calling about a collections agency thing, letting my short-lived assembly job go (three days, uy), and eating the banana bread I baked this past week. All done. But something still looms.
Scheduling in general has been rough the past few months. There was the time, probably halfway through the semester, that I actually triple-scheduled myself.
Then there's Sign language. I noticed sometime early in the semester that I wasn't learning anything, wasn't improving. Words and signs that I learned one day, even those that I drilled a few times later that evening or night, I'd lose a few days later. And I could tell that I'd lost them. I would come to the word and think, "This is the exact sign I drilled two days ago, and now I can't remember anything about it."
Lately, it's become exhilirating in a way to talk about something interesting, something complex. When I start discussing economics, history, politics, science...anything where I know stuff. Where I am not just "holding my own" but actually demonstrating a sharp mind. It feels incredibly good, if only because it shows me I haven't gone completely dumb. And it's such a rare occurrence lately, that it's almost novel, almost new, and definitely unusual and different. Refreshing.
I'm tempted to blame my lifestyle lately; I've played a lot of video games, watched TV with nearly every meal, and I haven't read more than a chapter or two in the past couple months. But none of that is really any different from any other year of my life.
I never used to struggle with this stuff. Scheduling was a breeze. Learning languages was a snap. And if I forgot something, a few minutes and I often got it back.
I don't know what's happening. I don't like it.
Actively.
It's not so much that I feel like going "DURRRRR" all the time. Not that anyone but Cartman really thinks that evidences that someone is stupid.
It's that I'm not retaining things like I used to.
Take this week. I am almost positive that I have something to do tomorrow. Something important. Something that I really shouldn't be forgetting.
Last week. I told Yady that I would go to Joey's b-day party on Saturday. I wake up Saturday, run some errands, come home, and start settling in, and it's only because I hopped on facebook before I took a shower that I found out I'd forgotten anything. It may well have passed completely without me having any idea it happened until a few days later when I thought about it and texted her to see when it was..."Oh, that was last week, I was wondering where you were."
I cannot for the life of me think what I'm supposed to do tomorrow that is at all important. Even accounting for things that were just on my "do soon" mental list, like calling about a collections agency thing, letting my short-lived assembly job go (three days, uy), and eating the banana bread I baked this past week. All done. But something still looms.
Scheduling in general has been rough the past few months. There was the time, probably halfway through the semester, that I actually triple-scheduled myself.
Then there's Sign language. I noticed sometime early in the semester that I wasn't learning anything, wasn't improving. Words and signs that I learned one day, even those that I drilled a few times later that evening or night, I'd lose a few days later. And I could tell that I'd lost them. I would come to the word and think, "This is the exact sign I drilled two days ago, and now I can't remember anything about it."
Lately, it's become exhilirating in a way to talk about something interesting, something complex. When I start discussing economics, history, politics, science...anything where I know stuff. Where I am not just "holding my own" but actually demonstrating a sharp mind. It feels incredibly good, if only because it shows me I haven't gone completely dumb. And it's such a rare occurrence lately, that it's almost novel, almost new, and definitely unusual and different. Refreshing.
I'm tempted to blame my lifestyle lately; I've played a lot of video games, watched TV with nearly every meal, and I haven't read more than a chapter or two in the past couple months. But none of that is really any different from any other year of my life.
I never used to struggle with this stuff. Scheduling was a breeze. Learning languages was a snap. And if I forgot something, a few minutes and I often got it back.
I don't know what's happening. I don't like it.