Step: Chapter 2
Step: Chapter 2
chi-eng translated, 4096 words, luhan centric, all members involved, various pairings
"With each step, 15 years of your lives will deplete"
Opening his eyes and lifting his sore neck from Yixing’s shoulder, Luhan takes a few glances at the usual beautiful natural scenery and meets his gaze with Yixing’s listless eyes.
“It’s about time you woke up, ancestor.” Zhang Yixing says.
Looking at Yixing, Luhan seems to be examining the tiny lines embedded on his face.
“What happened to me just now…?” He asks.
“Next time, before suddenly falling asleep, could you at least show some signs of sleeping beforehand, such as yawning?” Yixing looks at him and smiles.
“How long have I been asleep?” Luhan takes out his mobile phone and checks the date.
“Just a few minutes,” Yixing massages his shoulders, stands up and walks toward the snacks and then turns his head around to look at him again, “Tell me honestly, did you come here to sleep because we laid on your bed just now?”
Luhan stares at Yixing, hesitant.
“You’re gloomy and sullen today.” Yixing looks at him, “Be frank if you have anything to say.”
Looking at Yixing, Luhan says, “At the end of last year… Gayo Daejun… Did I, I mean, was it…” Yixing lowers his eyelids along with his arm, “Why are you still so mindful of that incident?”
Luhan stands still and doesn’t move. Those few calm words which came out from Yixing’s mouth just now seemed to have pricked something in his mind.
“That happened so long ago, no one’s bothered by it anymore… We already took the trophy and apologised. Weren’t the fans sad for you too?” Yixing says long-windedly, “Speaking of which, you were really weird during that day. First, you went into a daze on stage, but after returning backstage you couldn’t even remember a single thing that had taken place. Tao said it was proximal amnesia and still insisted on bringing you to the doctor. What’s good is that you returned to normal at least… Stop taking sleeping pills in the future.”
Luhan wasn’t even listening to Yixing at all. He slowly turns his body around and walks towards the big slab of stone, the tiny nails lying silently between the soil and wild grasses. The hammer stays on the ground, right next to the red arrow.
He picks up the hammer, flings it in the direction of the bushes with full force and pulls Yixing with him back in the direction where they came from.
“Eh? You’re going back?” Zhang Yixing was more-than-happy to pick his bag up from the ground.
Tugging at Yixing’s hand, Luhan felt that leaving this place was as if he were escaping from a nightmare. He rubs his eyes with his free hand and Clown seemed to have appeared in front of his eyes, smiling as he says, “Don’t forget the way back here.”
“I won’t come back anymore!” He turns back suddenly, yelling at the mountains.
Yixing merely stares at him, silent.
“Yixing, if I ever wish to return to this place in the future, you must stop me from doing so at all cost.” Luhan matches his gaze with Yixing’s eyes, “You have to promise me.”
Yixing stares at him, stunned, “Why?”
“You have to promise me.” Luhan continues looking at him, repeating his words.
“Fine,” Zhang Yixing looks at the serious Luhan, “Only if you let me know.”
Luhan’s gaze suddenly weakens, his legs turn to jelly and he falls to a sitting position onto the ground.
There are many things which we shouldn’t dig too deep into. Curiosity would push people forward but it would hasten their deaths as well. Trapped in the circumstances of not being able to explain himself, Luhan silently decides to strangle his own curiosity to death.
But, he definitely cannot allow his own curiosity to strangle him to death.
The following week is peaceful. The first thing Luhan does each morning is to check the date, and then see if the other members in the house have the same memories as him of the night before, beginning with Kris. After realizing that there’s nothing wrong with each examination amongst the members, he slowly starts believing that his life has returned to normal.
In the past, he resented his normal life, and had always been looking forward to something exciting that might ever happen. Now, he rejects everything thrilling.
Fortunately, he leads a busy life and time is packed together like a biscuit. There isn’t much time for him to dwell on the memories about the weird dream he had. He has rehearsals, performances and fan-signings. The lighting in the photography studio always shine down on the soft, serious and alluring expressions on their faces. It has never been a problem whether or not his hand are intertwined with Sehun’s arm or swung over Yixing’s shoulders, nevertheless the strange requests from the leader during variety shows or the sacrifices his lips had to make to undergo CPR.
His heart had been preparing for all these ever since he turned 17. So when the day arrived, it wasn’t all that great nor was it something for him he resented anyway.
He deserves it.
It is equivalent to a medical student knowing he would end up in a hospital treating patients in the future; Luhan has been prepared for many things.
Yes, when his high school classmates were preparing for the national exams with all their might, he was also preparing to enter SM Academy with all his might. Even though the university’s name was strange and the employment rate of graduates remained low, he very much liked the courses it had to offer. When he actually got himself a job after graduating, Luhan felt fortunate to be part of the 20%. Right at the beginning of his career, he was just like the other rookies; a little ignorant and clueless on how to deal with people instantly. After working for a while longer, he started to realize that reality was far off from what he had expected, but he was fine with anything; he had to pay a price in order to pursue what he liked, regardless of his career.
The price he had to pay probably includes losing bits of his privacy; withstanding groundless criticisms; and accepting the fact that he has to socialize regardless of his will. What else can he predict? Looking at his seniors in the industry… Cross-dressing? Kissing during a concert? Or getting hit by a few mineral water bottles during a fan-stampede?
He remembers that the seniors had been mellow and gentle on their debut showcase, attentive and mindful about the fans, and they had undergone perfect consideration for the words they pick during a conversation… Who knows how much it took to shape them to become perfectly round, while he had only just been a triangle then.
Of course, there are many parts of it he liked; such as the stage he had been dreaming about; the pleasant feeling he gets when he acts; the immense love he receives from large amounts of strangers; as well as the power of speech he has on certain levels.
Fame can definitely be a good thing 90% of the time; it allows one to express themselves on a clearer and a brighter platform. Of course, this must be under the circumstances where permission is given and where one ignores the hate you’ll gain.
The days that passed by were exciting yet dull. Luhan maintains his smile during a fansign despite the fact that his face stiffened after signing the exact same cute cartoon-like autograph a thousand times. His sore arms and dazed eyes that couldn’t even make out his own autograph anymore constantly reminds him that he belonged to the tertiary industry. There were screams and cheers from people both far and near; just like an unchanging comedy. No matter how dedicated the clown on stage was, according to the principles of dedication, the expression underneath the clown’s makeup should best be only kept to himself.
The clients are the gods, the clients are the angels. At first he thought that he simply exists for the stage, but only later had he realized that the stage exists for the audience.
Without the audience, it wouldn’t even be called a stage.
Therefore, he said to the fans truthfully, “You are angels, I only exist because of your cheers.”
“Please continue to cheer us on, or else, I would cease to exist.”
The 22nd of March 2013 was not the first time there was a call for a dinner party, nor was it the first time the exact same 4 people attended the dinner party. It was raining outside, the rain wasn’t pouring but it was moist. Luhan was down with a slight fever due to lack of rest, but nevertheless, he put on a simple coat after his shirt and got on the car along with Baekhyun. Chanyeol and Kris, who just woke up, followed after. The phone in Kris’ pocket beeped, prompting the depletion of its battery. He took out his phone and looked at it, and glanced at Baekhyun and Luhan who were already in the car. He placed his phone back into his pocket and got on the car along with the others.
Luhan had already slowly gotten used to these types of dinner parties with various people such as affiliated TV stations, magazines, producers, drama producers etc. It seemed like everyone wanted to be “acquainted” with them, and behind every agreement and contract lay a dinner party with a cordial atmosphere. Speaking of these entertainment companies who are out to seek profit for themselves, Luhan knew long ago that pretty idols like him actually are at the lowest rung of the ladder whereas the big bosses who hold onto “money whips” would always want the tips of these whips to be the frontline of the business battle. Singing and dancing would be one of these tips, so are good looks which allow these idols to attract fans from all over the world. The warm attitude which allows people to feel happy at the dining table would be another tip.
All this work could not be ignored; they’re all called “the art of technology living”.
Dinner parties are merely dinner parties; they’re not as scary as they seem to be. It’s just like how people who sell cars have to socialize as part of their job, except that the main product they have to sell are their own faces and looks. Just like how unstable rookies have to start from the bottom rung of the ladder and cannot afford to have too much of a temper, Luhan thinks that this is a suitable life experience before having his big break.
There are not that many people who came present at the dinner party. There are people of both sexes; but it was obvious that the company found this of utmost importance as some rarely-seen senior executives are found present at the function. Usually, only one or two members appeared at these dinner parties when they were regarding small projects. But this time, all four members are present. It was obvious that besides entertaining the guests, there is an underlying motive of promoting them overseas.
After a few acts of the usual courtesy, Luhan gradually starts to realize the main topic of the dinner party. It relates to the recent rumors of them splitting up into Japanese subgroups. Which in other words was the discussion of the possible debut of the EXO-J subgroup from EXO.
The ranking in the company is strict. Excluding the company directors who are considered shareholders, the higher management of the company consists of 7 people, who are commonly known as the senior managers. Each senior manager has a handful of lower ranking managers, and each of them have different jobs. Some were in charge of the arrangement of schedules for solo artistes while some were in charge of groups like theirs. On the night of the dinner party, besides their own senior manager, two other company directors are present as well. Despite only debuting for one year, EXO has already made impressive progress, and this was why these people of such high ranks are present.
Even though Luhan understood the importance of this dinner party, he forces a tight smile despite his slight fever, but that wasn’t enough to cover up the fact that he was unwell. Chanyeol took up the initiative of proposing a toast. Amongst the conversations of the different mixed languages, Chanyeol explains to Kris about the member formations of the opposite parties subtly. “The one on the left who keeps on smiling is the entertainment production director of KHN TV station,” Kris’ eyes follows Chanyeol until they meet the person with the most redundant and bogus smile in the room. “The two on the right are their company’s directors. The younger one is the translator while the woman on the farthest right is a senior manager. She was in charge of the Performing Arts Market Seoul (PAMS) not long ago.” Kris’ gaze sweeps over these people one by one as he remains silent.
“To be honest, there have been plans of forming EXO-J before EXO has even debuted,” The senior manager next to Luhan said pleasantly, “First of all, they weren’t matured enough when they had their debut. Secondly, they needed time to settle down in both the Korean and Chinese market. So this plan has been postponed for a long time.” He smiles as he stands up to bow and help pour wine for the opposite party.
“Trying our luck in the Japanese market is not a trivial matter. It’s not that the company hasn’t tried it before, but without adequate preparation, it won’t work out the way we want it to. We all know that this matter needs a certain period of time to carry out the plans. The planning has already started last year, putting them on the schedule now would be necessary… They are still young and hence they would need your advice and encouragement in order to advance in Japanese market…” The manager reiterates his thoughts, followed by the translator whose translations continues uninterruptedly like rapid fire. Luhan was already experiencing a splitting headache; but nevertheless, tries his best to stop himself from slipping into a coma.
“Two of these four artistes are from EXO-K while the other two are from EXO-M, and they have accumulated a good reputation and much popularity within a year from their debut. They cooperate well with others, too.” The manager says tactfully, “Even though we haven’t settled on a concrete name list, if we are going to debut EXO-J, we might as well pick members from the group itself, and there will also be a new leader within these members.”
“It seems like both of the lead dancers aren’t here.” A Japanese director asks as he smiles.
“Yes,” One of the directors of the company smiles as he replies, “These two lead dancers are indispensable in both teams. However, their Japanese isn’t really good and they are quite shy as well, so it might not be very suitable for them to be active in another country.” He smiles and gestures to Luhan, “If we create EXO-J, we have the inclination to make him EXO-J’s leader.”
Lifting his head up groggily, Luhan was pulled to stand by the director before he even understood what was going on. “Luhan is now following EXO-M and promoting in China. His singing and dancing skills are above average, his grasp on several languages are good, has an immense amount of popularity and is good-looking.” The director was all smiles and caresses Luhan’s cheek gently as if he were introducing a product to a customer, “He’s cooperative, mature and is highly adaptable. According to my observations and understanding, he will definitely live up to your expectations.” He says as he turns around and takes a look at Luhan’s pale and ghastly face.
“Luhan? I’ve heard of you before.” The production director of NHK’s entertainment agency looks at him, “Do you find Japan interesting?”
Luhan blinks his droopy eyelids lifelessly, and the manager beside him taps him, “He’s asking you a question!”
At a loss, Luhan manages to force something out of his mouth, “Oh, Japan. I’m interested.”
The opposite party looks at Luhan’s absent-minded expression, lowers their heads and laughs, “Oh, is that so? In which areas?” They look at Luhan.
“I…” Luhan suddenly feels horrible, as if there was a rock stuck in his throat. His head buzzed, “I ate Japanese cuisine before.”
The translator who sat next to him laughs with Baekhyun while Kris lowers his head and thinks of the words that Luhan wasn’t able to say, and also imagines an action film in his head.
However, they stop smiling soon enough, as the Japanese director sitting opposite them definitely didn’t have the most pleasant expression on his face.
“He knows some Japanese,” The manager adds, “He often understands Japanese films and variety shows.” He says as he tugs against Luhan’s arm and glares at him.
Luhan didn’t add on after him, but continues to stare blankly in silence.
The manager fills everyone’s glasses with wine hurriedly, including Luhan’s wine glass. Using the table as his support, Luhan feels the world spinning around him and feels nauseated. Upon observing the director’s face, Chanyeol pushes the wine glass nearer to Luhan’s hand, but Luhan continues to lean against the table, with no intention of picking up the wine glass whatsoever.
The opposite party silently waits for Luhan until the wine glass is in his hand, but he remains pale as he furrowed his eyebrows, staring at the table.
The awkward atmosphere spins around the dining table. Kris looks at Luhan for two seconds before he lowers his eyelids. He vaguely remembers that Luhan would reject the Japanese due to his temperament sometimes.
The Japanese director withdraws his hand away from Luhan, smiling as he says, “It looks like your country’s definition of mature and cooperative is very much different from our country’s definition.” He smiles in Luhan’s direction, “You must have treated your artistes very well normally. However, they still have tempers of their own.”
Luhan remains quiet as the manager forces an awkward smile at the opposite party. The directors in the company starts to apologize, “You’ve misunderstood. We are very strict on the management of our artistes as well.”
“Is that so?” The director’s expression was one of scrutiny and interest, “I’m afraid that they might not be able to adapt if they come to Japan just like that.”
The company’s director lowers his head awkwardly and smiles. His expression wasn’t good when he turns around and threw the manager a look.
The manager creases his eyebrows in worry and blinks. He pauses for a few seconds before he picks up the wine glass in front of Luhan and splashes the contents directly at Luhan’s face. Instantaneously, everyone becomes silent.
Luhan remains rooted to his seat, terrified. Wine trickles down his face and on the tips of his hair slowly. The icy red wine tastes pretty good, and at least it manages to lower the temperature of his burning forehead.
The Japanese director smiles as he looks at him silently. He doesn’t seem to be shocked by what has just taken place. Luhan lowers his head and pauses for two seconds. He bows slightly and apologizes instantly, “sorry, I’ll clean myself up.” He says as he stands up, walking in the direction of the washroom.
In the washroom, Luhan washes his face directly with cold water from the tap. He has no time for resentment; he only wishes to make himself more level-headed. Supporting himself with the sides of the sink, Luhan stares at himself in the mirror. His skin is fair and clear, but he feels as tiny as an ant at the dinner table.
He looks into the mirror as he practiced his smile. The game isn’t played this way.
The rules aren’t games they’ve set, what should be done?
Returning back to the private dining room, Luhan pauses outside the door for a moment and ponders about what he should do before entering. He gives his sweetest smile. “Sorry about what happened just now,” He returns to his original seat, standing in place, “I’ll drink three shots as my punishment.” He speaks in fluent Korean, and patiently waits for the translator to finish her sentence before he helps himself with the wine while maintaining his smile. He chooses to drink small shots of Japanese Soju.
The company’s director looks at him, expressionless until he finishes all three shots of wine before revealing his smile again, “This is the real Luhan I introduced to you just now.” The Japanese director smiles and gestures for Luhan to take a seat, “If you don’t have a high tolerance for alcohol then you shouldn’t drink. The alcohol levels in this wine are really high; you don’t have to force yourself.”
Luhan trembles a little before sitting down eventually. Chanyeol grabs his hand from under the table, but Luhan maintains his smile, “I should be doing this.”
That day, Luhan seems to take on the Japanese representatives, or in other words, Luhan, an easily manipulated scapegoat has taken on the company itself. They keep giving Luhan incessant amounts of wine during the dinner party, and even wanted Luhan, who was burning at the cheeks due to the wine, to show them his singing abilities. No matter how hard Chanyeol tries to save him or how Kris tries to help him drink down the wine, those people have already locked onto Luhan and were never going to stop. It was a strange atmosphere; Luhan feels as if he was bound to his company’s promise that their artistes were all highly cooperative. He also feels as if he was the bait for the Japanese to degrade his own company’s artistes. He was trapped in a dilemma, and could only drink down the wine that was given to him helplessly.
“Didn’t you say that your level was above average for both singing and dancing just now?” The Japanese director starts clapping his hands to kick up a fuss, “Show us your singing abilities then, everyone has been anticipating it.”
“Yeah, you’re advancing to Japan in the future so let’s see if you’re able to be an overnight success, then!” Another director smiles, complying.
Kris lowers his head, his hands balling into fists from underneath the dining table.
Luhan uses the best of his will to stay awake, “I’ve lost my voice today. Can everyone please let me off?”
“Your voice is hoarse? Right now, I feel that your voice should be as active more than ever. In Japan we share a custom, saying that singing after three drinks would add on to the fun; both the singers and audience would be happy.” The Japanese producer teases.
“I’ll sing in his place, I sing very well too.” Chanyeol pipes up with an interested expression, but his voice was just too gruff.
“You? Sing? I bet you’re the one who lost your voice.” The producer said, and the people at the sides laughed in agreement.
Chanyeol stops speaking due to the awkwardness in the atmosphere. Kris, who was beside him, looks like he couldn’t tolerate it anymore and might explode anytime. Luhan opens his mouth to speak.
“Let me sing then.” His face which was flushed red now instantly became pale white. “But I would like to sing a Chinese song, but the translator might not be able to understand.” Luhan supported his body and laughed wearily.
“That’s fine.” The opposite party said, “We just want to hear your voice.”
Kris lifts his head to look at Luhan. Luhan was standing up and supporting himself on the table. He closes his eyes for a brief moment. He thinks he might not be able to ever forget that scene in his entire life.
A familiar tune comes out from the sides of Luhan’s mouth; it was “Olive Tree”, a song which Luhan always sings in private.
He was the only one at the table who actually understands what Luhan was singing, but at that moment, he wishes that he couldn’t understand a single thing. He wasn’t able to answer the questions which floated out from the wistful tune. What exactly was the olive tree which appears in dreams? Where was it…
He didn’t know either.
[T/N: The translated lyrics to the song “Olive Tree” can be found here: http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/240809959.html]
Original fic
Translated by chanrismatic, proofread by wayve!
Do not repost without permission!
the past few chapters have been a little boring/hard to understand but chapter 3 onwards will be better!
chi-eng translated, 4096 words, luhan centric, all members involved, various pairings
"With each step, 15 years of your lives will deplete"
Opening his eyes and lifting his sore neck from Yixing’s shoulder, Luhan takes a few glances at the usual beautiful natural scenery and meets his gaze with Yixing’s listless eyes.
“It’s about time you woke up, ancestor.” Zhang Yixing says.
Looking at Yixing, Luhan seems to be examining the tiny lines embedded on his face.
“What happened to me just now…?” He asks.
“Next time, before suddenly falling asleep, could you at least show some signs of sleeping beforehand, such as yawning?” Yixing looks at him and smiles.
“How long have I been asleep?” Luhan takes out his mobile phone and checks the date.
“Just a few minutes,” Yixing massages his shoulders, stands up and walks toward the snacks and then turns his head around to look at him again, “Tell me honestly, did you come here to sleep because we laid on your bed just now?”
Luhan stares at Yixing, hesitant.
“You’re gloomy and sullen today.” Yixing looks at him, “Be frank if you have anything to say.”
Looking at Yixing, Luhan says, “At the end of last year… Gayo Daejun… Did I, I mean, was it…” Yixing lowers his eyelids along with his arm, “Why are you still so mindful of that incident?”
Luhan stands still and doesn’t move. Those few calm words which came out from Yixing’s mouth just now seemed to have pricked something in his mind.
“That happened so long ago, no one’s bothered by it anymore… We already took the trophy and apologised. Weren’t the fans sad for you too?” Yixing says long-windedly, “Speaking of which, you were really weird during that day. First, you went into a daze on stage, but after returning backstage you couldn’t even remember a single thing that had taken place. Tao said it was proximal amnesia and still insisted on bringing you to the doctor. What’s good is that you returned to normal at least… Stop taking sleeping pills in the future.”
Luhan wasn’t even listening to Yixing at all. He slowly turns his body around and walks towards the big slab of stone, the tiny nails lying silently between the soil and wild grasses. The hammer stays on the ground, right next to the red arrow.
He picks up the hammer, flings it in the direction of the bushes with full force and pulls Yixing with him back in the direction where they came from.
“Eh? You’re going back?” Zhang Yixing was more-than-happy to pick his bag up from the ground.
Tugging at Yixing’s hand, Luhan felt that leaving this place was as if he were escaping from a nightmare. He rubs his eyes with his free hand and Clown seemed to have appeared in front of his eyes, smiling as he says, “Don’t forget the way back here.”
“I won’t come back anymore!” He turns back suddenly, yelling at the mountains.
Yixing merely stares at him, silent.
“Yixing, if I ever wish to return to this place in the future, you must stop me from doing so at all cost.” Luhan matches his gaze with Yixing’s eyes, “You have to promise me.”
Yixing stares at him, stunned, “Why?”
“You have to promise me.” Luhan continues looking at him, repeating his words.
“Fine,” Zhang Yixing looks at the serious Luhan, “Only if you let me know.”
Luhan’s gaze suddenly weakens, his legs turn to jelly and he falls to a sitting position onto the ground.
There are many things which we shouldn’t dig too deep into. Curiosity would push people forward but it would hasten their deaths as well. Trapped in the circumstances of not being able to explain himself, Luhan silently decides to strangle his own curiosity to death.
But, he definitely cannot allow his own curiosity to strangle him to death.
The following week is peaceful. The first thing Luhan does each morning is to check the date, and then see if the other members in the house have the same memories as him of the night before, beginning with Kris. After realizing that there’s nothing wrong with each examination amongst the members, he slowly starts believing that his life has returned to normal.
In the past, he resented his normal life, and had always been looking forward to something exciting that might ever happen. Now, he rejects everything thrilling.
Fortunately, he leads a busy life and time is packed together like a biscuit. There isn’t much time for him to dwell on the memories about the weird dream he had. He has rehearsals, performances and fan-signings. The lighting in the photography studio always shine down on the soft, serious and alluring expressions on their faces. It has never been a problem whether or not his hand are intertwined with Sehun’s arm or swung over Yixing’s shoulders, nevertheless the strange requests from the leader during variety shows or the sacrifices his lips had to make to undergo CPR.
His heart had been preparing for all these ever since he turned 17. So when the day arrived, it wasn’t all that great nor was it something for him he resented anyway.
He deserves it.
It is equivalent to a medical student knowing he would end up in a hospital treating patients in the future; Luhan has been prepared for many things.
Yes, when his high school classmates were preparing for the national exams with all their might, he was also preparing to enter SM Academy with all his might. Even though the university’s name was strange and the employment rate of graduates remained low, he very much liked the courses it had to offer. When he actually got himself a job after graduating, Luhan felt fortunate to be part of the 20%. Right at the beginning of his career, he was just like the other rookies; a little ignorant and clueless on how to deal with people instantly. After working for a while longer, he started to realize that reality was far off from what he had expected, but he was fine with anything; he had to pay a price in order to pursue what he liked, regardless of his career.
The price he had to pay probably includes losing bits of his privacy; withstanding groundless criticisms; and accepting the fact that he has to socialize regardless of his will. What else can he predict? Looking at his seniors in the industry… Cross-dressing? Kissing during a concert? Or getting hit by a few mineral water bottles during a fan-stampede?
He remembers that the seniors had been mellow and gentle on their debut showcase, attentive and mindful about the fans, and they had undergone perfect consideration for the words they pick during a conversation… Who knows how much it took to shape them to become perfectly round, while he had only just been a triangle then.
Of course, there are many parts of it he liked; such as the stage he had been dreaming about; the pleasant feeling he gets when he acts; the immense love he receives from large amounts of strangers; as well as the power of speech he has on certain levels.
Fame can definitely be a good thing 90% of the time; it allows one to express themselves on a clearer and a brighter platform. Of course, this must be under the circumstances where permission is given and where one ignores the hate you’ll gain.
The days that passed by were exciting yet dull. Luhan maintains his smile during a fansign despite the fact that his face stiffened after signing the exact same cute cartoon-like autograph a thousand times. His sore arms and dazed eyes that couldn’t even make out his own autograph anymore constantly reminds him that he belonged to the tertiary industry. There were screams and cheers from people both far and near; just like an unchanging comedy. No matter how dedicated the clown on stage was, according to the principles of dedication, the expression underneath the clown’s makeup should best be only kept to himself.
The clients are the gods, the clients are the angels. At first he thought that he simply exists for the stage, but only later had he realized that the stage exists for the audience.
Without the audience, it wouldn’t even be called a stage.
Therefore, he said to the fans truthfully, “You are angels, I only exist because of your cheers.”
“Please continue to cheer us on, or else, I would cease to exist.”
The 22nd of March 2013 was not the first time there was a call for a dinner party, nor was it the first time the exact same 4 people attended the dinner party. It was raining outside, the rain wasn’t pouring but it was moist. Luhan was down with a slight fever due to lack of rest, but nevertheless, he put on a simple coat after his shirt and got on the car along with Baekhyun. Chanyeol and Kris, who just woke up, followed after. The phone in Kris’ pocket beeped, prompting the depletion of its battery. He took out his phone and looked at it, and glanced at Baekhyun and Luhan who were already in the car. He placed his phone back into his pocket and got on the car along with the others.
Luhan had already slowly gotten used to these types of dinner parties with various people such as affiliated TV stations, magazines, producers, drama producers etc. It seemed like everyone wanted to be “acquainted” with them, and behind every agreement and contract lay a dinner party with a cordial atmosphere. Speaking of these entertainment companies who are out to seek profit for themselves, Luhan knew long ago that pretty idols like him actually are at the lowest rung of the ladder whereas the big bosses who hold onto “money whips” would always want the tips of these whips to be the frontline of the business battle. Singing and dancing would be one of these tips, so are good looks which allow these idols to attract fans from all over the world. The warm attitude which allows people to feel happy at the dining table would be another tip.
All this work could not be ignored; they’re all called “the art of technology living”.
Dinner parties are merely dinner parties; they’re not as scary as they seem to be. It’s just like how people who sell cars have to socialize as part of their job, except that the main product they have to sell are their own faces and looks. Just like how unstable rookies have to start from the bottom rung of the ladder and cannot afford to have too much of a temper, Luhan thinks that this is a suitable life experience before having his big break.
There are not that many people who came present at the dinner party. There are people of both sexes; but it was obvious that the company found this of utmost importance as some rarely-seen senior executives are found present at the function. Usually, only one or two members appeared at these dinner parties when they were regarding small projects. But this time, all four members are present. It was obvious that besides entertaining the guests, there is an underlying motive of promoting them overseas.
After a few acts of the usual courtesy, Luhan gradually starts to realize the main topic of the dinner party. It relates to the recent rumors of them splitting up into Japanese subgroups. Which in other words was the discussion of the possible debut of the EXO-J subgroup from EXO.
The ranking in the company is strict. Excluding the company directors who are considered shareholders, the higher management of the company consists of 7 people, who are commonly known as the senior managers. Each senior manager has a handful of lower ranking managers, and each of them have different jobs. Some were in charge of the arrangement of schedules for solo artistes while some were in charge of groups like theirs. On the night of the dinner party, besides their own senior manager, two other company directors are present as well. Despite only debuting for one year, EXO has already made impressive progress, and this was why these people of such high ranks are present.
Even though Luhan understood the importance of this dinner party, he forces a tight smile despite his slight fever, but that wasn’t enough to cover up the fact that he was unwell. Chanyeol took up the initiative of proposing a toast. Amongst the conversations of the different mixed languages, Chanyeol explains to Kris about the member formations of the opposite parties subtly. “The one on the left who keeps on smiling is the entertainment production director of KHN TV station,” Kris’ eyes follows Chanyeol until they meet the person with the most redundant and bogus smile in the room. “The two on the right are their company’s directors. The younger one is the translator while the woman on the farthest right is a senior manager. She was in charge of the Performing Arts Market Seoul (PAMS) not long ago.” Kris’ gaze sweeps over these people one by one as he remains silent.
“To be honest, there have been plans of forming EXO-J before EXO has even debuted,” The senior manager next to Luhan said pleasantly, “First of all, they weren’t matured enough when they had their debut. Secondly, they needed time to settle down in both the Korean and Chinese market. So this plan has been postponed for a long time.” He smiles as he stands up to bow and help pour wine for the opposite party.
“Trying our luck in the Japanese market is not a trivial matter. It’s not that the company hasn’t tried it before, but without adequate preparation, it won’t work out the way we want it to. We all know that this matter needs a certain period of time to carry out the plans. The planning has already started last year, putting them on the schedule now would be necessary… They are still young and hence they would need your advice and encouragement in order to advance in Japanese market…” The manager reiterates his thoughts, followed by the translator whose translations continues uninterruptedly like rapid fire. Luhan was already experiencing a splitting headache; but nevertheless, tries his best to stop himself from slipping into a coma.
“Two of these four artistes are from EXO-K while the other two are from EXO-M, and they have accumulated a good reputation and much popularity within a year from their debut. They cooperate well with others, too.” The manager says tactfully, “Even though we haven’t settled on a concrete name list, if we are going to debut EXO-J, we might as well pick members from the group itself, and there will also be a new leader within these members.”
“It seems like both of the lead dancers aren’t here.” A Japanese director asks as he smiles.
“Yes,” One of the directors of the company smiles as he replies, “These two lead dancers are indispensable in both teams. However, their Japanese isn’t really good and they are quite shy as well, so it might not be very suitable for them to be active in another country.” He smiles and gestures to Luhan, “If we create EXO-J, we have the inclination to make him EXO-J’s leader.”
Lifting his head up groggily, Luhan was pulled to stand by the director before he even understood what was going on. “Luhan is now following EXO-M and promoting in China. His singing and dancing skills are above average, his grasp on several languages are good, has an immense amount of popularity and is good-looking.” The director was all smiles and caresses Luhan’s cheek gently as if he were introducing a product to a customer, “He’s cooperative, mature and is highly adaptable. According to my observations and understanding, he will definitely live up to your expectations.” He says as he turns around and takes a look at Luhan’s pale and ghastly face.
“Luhan? I’ve heard of you before.” The production director of NHK’s entertainment agency looks at him, “Do you find Japan interesting?”
Luhan blinks his droopy eyelids lifelessly, and the manager beside him taps him, “He’s asking you a question!”
At a loss, Luhan manages to force something out of his mouth, “Oh, Japan. I’m interested.”
The opposite party looks at Luhan’s absent-minded expression, lowers their heads and laughs, “Oh, is that so? In which areas?” They look at Luhan.
“I…” Luhan suddenly feels horrible, as if there was a rock stuck in his throat. His head buzzed, “I ate Japanese cuisine before.”
The translator who sat next to him laughs with Baekhyun while Kris lowers his head and thinks of the words that Luhan wasn’t able to say, and also imagines an action film in his head.
However, they stop smiling soon enough, as the Japanese director sitting opposite them definitely didn’t have the most pleasant expression on his face.
“He knows some Japanese,” The manager adds, “He often understands Japanese films and variety shows.” He says as he tugs against Luhan’s arm and glares at him.
Luhan didn’t add on after him, but continues to stare blankly in silence.
The manager fills everyone’s glasses with wine hurriedly, including Luhan’s wine glass. Using the table as his support, Luhan feels the world spinning around him and feels nauseated. Upon observing the director’s face, Chanyeol pushes the wine glass nearer to Luhan’s hand, but Luhan continues to lean against the table, with no intention of picking up the wine glass whatsoever.
The opposite party silently waits for Luhan until the wine glass is in his hand, but he remains pale as he furrowed his eyebrows, staring at the table.
The awkward atmosphere spins around the dining table. Kris looks at Luhan for two seconds before he lowers his eyelids. He vaguely remembers that Luhan would reject the Japanese due to his temperament sometimes.
The Japanese director withdraws his hand away from Luhan, smiling as he says, “It looks like your country’s definition of mature and cooperative is very much different from our country’s definition.” He smiles in Luhan’s direction, “You must have treated your artistes very well normally. However, they still have tempers of their own.”
Luhan remains quiet as the manager forces an awkward smile at the opposite party. The directors in the company starts to apologize, “You’ve misunderstood. We are very strict on the management of our artistes as well.”
“Is that so?” The director’s expression was one of scrutiny and interest, “I’m afraid that they might not be able to adapt if they come to Japan just like that.”
The company’s director lowers his head awkwardly and smiles. His expression wasn’t good when he turns around and threw the manager a look.
The manager creases his eyebrows in worry and blinks. He pauses for a few seconds before he picks up the wine glass in front of Luhan and splashes the contents directly at Luhan’s face. Instantaneously, everyone becomes silent.
Luhan remains rooted to his seat, terrified. Wine trickles down his face and on the tips of his hair slowly. The icy red wine tastes pretty good, and at least it manages to lower the temperature of his burning forehead.
The Japanese director smiles as he looks at him silently. He doesn’t seem to be shocked by what has just taken place. Luhan lowers his head and pauses for two seconds. He bows slightly and apologizes instantly, “sorry, I’ll clean myself up.” He says as he stands up, walking in the direction of the washroom.
In the washroom, Luhan washes his face directly with cold water from the tap. He has no time for resentment; he only wishes to make himself more level-headed. Supporting himself with the sides of the sink, Luhan stares at himself in the mirror. His skin is fair and clear, but he feels as tiny as an ant at the dinner table.
He looks into the mirror as he practiced his smile. The game isn’t played this way.
The rules aren’t games they’ve set, what should be done?
Returning back to the private dining room, Luhan pauses outside the door for a moment and ponders about what he should do before entering. He gives his sweetest smile. “Sorry about what happened just now,” He returns to his original seat, standing in place, “I’ll drink three shots as my punishment.” He speaks in fluent Korean, and patiently waits for the translator to finish her sentence before he helps himself with the wine while maintaining his smile. He chooses to drink small shots of Japanese Soju.
The company’s director looks at him, expressionless until he finishes all three shots of wine before revealing his smile again, “This is the real Luhan I introduced to you just now.” The Japanese director smiles and gestures for Luhan to take a seat, “If you don’t have a high tolerance for alcohol then you shouldn’t drink. The alcohol levels in this wine are really high; you don’t have to force yourself.”
Luhan trembles a little before sitting down eventually. Chanyeol grabs his hand from under the table, but Luhan maintains his smile, “I should be doing this.”
That day, Luhan seems to take on the Japanese representatives, or in other words, Luhan, an easily manipulated scapegoat has taken on the company itself. They keep giving Luhan incessant amounts of wine during the dinner party, and even wanted Luhan, who was burning at the cheeks due to the wine, to show them his singing abilities. No matter how hard Chanyeol tries to save him or how Kris tries to help him drink down the wine, those people have already locked onto Luhan and were never going to stop. It was a strange atmosphere; Luhan feels as if he was bound to his company’s promise that their artistes were all highly cooperative. He also feels as if he was the bait for the Japanese to degrade his own company’s artistes. He was trapped in a dilemma, and could only drink down the wine that was given to him helplessly.
“Didn’t you say that your level was above average for both singing and dancing just now?” The Japanese director starts clapping his hands to kick up a fuss, “Show us your singing abilities then, everyone has been anticipating it.”
“Yeah, you’re advancing to Japan in the future so let’s see if you’re able to be an overnight success, then!” Another director smiles, complying.
Kris lowers his head, his hands balling into fists from underneath the dining table.
Luhan uses the best of his will to stay awake, “I’ve lost my voice today. Can everyone please let me off?”
“Your voice is hoarse? Right now, I feel that your voice should be as active more than ever. In Japan we share a custom, saying that singing after three drinks would add on to the fun; both the singers and audience would be happy.” The Japanese producer teases.
“I’ll sing in his place, I sing very well too.” Chanyeol pipes up with an interested expression, but his voice was just too gruff.
“You? Sing? I bet you’re the one who lost your voice.” The producer said, and the people at the sides laughed in agreement.
Chanyeol stops speaking due to the awkwardness in the atmosphere. Kris, who was beside him, looks like he couldn’t tolerate it anymore and might explode anytime. Luhan opens his mouth to speak.
“Let me sing then.” His face which was flushed red now instantly became pale white. “But I would like to sing a Chinese song, but the translator might not be able to understand.” Luhan supported his body and laughed wearily.
“That’s fine.” The opposite party said, “We just want to hear your voice.”
Kris lifts his head to look at Luhan. Luhan was standing up and supporting himself on the table. He closes his eyes for a brief moment. He thinks he might not be able to ever forget that scene in his entire life.
A familiar tune comes out from the sides of Luhan’s mouth; it was “Olive Tree”, a song which Luhan always sings in private.
He was the only one at the table who actually understands what Luhan was singing, but at that moment, he wishes that he couldn’t understand a single thing. He wasn’t able to answer the questions which floated out from the wistful tune. What exactly was the olive tree which appears in dreams? Where was it…
He didn’t know either.
[T/N: The translated lyrics to the song “Olive Tree” can be found here: http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/240809959.html]
Original fic
Translated by chanrismatic, proofread by wayve!
Do not repost without permission!
the past few chapters have been a little boring/hard to understand but chapter 3 onwards will be better!