Und dann das.
It's almost a week since my internship ended. I meant to write a mean spirited, judging post full of vitriol about the work and my so called colleagues at the end of January. To get even, in a way. But now that it's over and done, there's nothing left but relief and a tiny sense of sadness. :/ Strange, huh? I don't really feel like writing about the internship anymore, because the tight, hot knot in my stomach vanished the day it was over. And left a blank space instead. I guess it's what happens to most people who work 7 days a week and finally, unexpectedly, are confronted with so called free time. It takes the wind out of your sails.
I gotta admit, I feel a bit lost. I know I got to find some new means of income, and I'm working on it (the chance came flying in just one day after my internship). It's just still so strange not to have to get up at 3:20am, or watch the news, talk to people on the phone. I still got the professional autopilot going when I phone someone. That's nice, I guess, because it lends you confidence, a mask to hide behind. But I am not sure if I always want to introduce myself with my "internship-voice".
Despite the new freedom I still don't go out, still don't meet the friends I promised myself to meet. Because I never really find the opportunity (I know it's been only a few days, 3 to be exact, that I didn't have to work - where I chose to finally go to Ikea and buy the missing furniture for my room instead of... everything else). I hope it will change the next few weeks. :/ I really miss being socially available.
Aaah, but it's still nice not to have to leave the house for 4 days out of 7. All I need to do now is to change my working hours at the JMB from Fr/Sa/Su to something more humane. Oh, and hope for being accepted at the University, of course.
All in all, I feel much more relaxed while still being stressed out. FOR WHAT EVER REASON. There's still so much to do, I don't know where to start, aaaaaah.
I srsly need a paid account again. I miss my icons :C
I gotta admit, I feel a bit lost. I know I got to find some new means of income, and I'm working on it (the chance came flying in just one day after my internship). It's just still so strange not to have to get up at 3:20am, or watch the news, talk to people on the phone. I still got the professional autopilot going when I phone someone. That's nice, I guess, because it lends you confidence, a mask to hide behind. But I am not sure if I always want to introduce myself with my "internship-voice".
Despite the new freedom I still don't go out, still don't meet the friends I promised myself to meet. Because I never really find the opportunity (I know it's been only a few days, 3 to be exact, that I didn't have to work - where I chose to finally go to Ikea and buy the missing furniture for my room instead of... everything else). I hope it will change the next few weeks. :/ I really miss being socially available.
Aaah, but it's still nice not to have to leave the house for 4 days out of 7. All I need to do now is to change my working hours at the JMB from Fr/Sa/Su to something more humane. Oh, and hope for being accepted at the University, of course.
All in all, I feel much more relaxed while still being stressed out. FOR WHAT EVER REASON. There's still so much to do, I don't know where to start, aaaaaah.
I srsly need a paid account again. I miss my icons :C