Anotyher drunken upadate
About time, I'lñl say. Anyways, today was my sister's graduation party, she is no longer on High School and will go to university next year becasue she will take a sabbatical and go to Italy or some siht I dunno. It's her choice.
At least she managed to get out of high school/preparatory school with a clean record, and iam happy for her. She is great for almost everything and I hope that she does well in whatever the hell she chooses to do.
Today was her graduation party, I did not go to my very own graduation party, and i do not regert that, but it made me realize (with the help of the alcohol) a couple of things.
a) I have not done anythingo f importance in my 20 years of life. Nothing at all. Oh well. That is shitty. Very shitty. I am not important to anone but my close family, maybe to some of my friends, btu I doubt it. This time alcohol, instead of making me a happier, dumber person has made me a emoer, dumber person. Bah.
b) I have realized that I am probably scared of myself or being myself. I don't want to participate on social events unless I am not myself or somesuch. I don't feel confortable on social situations (or atl eastnot in this case, I dunno, i think i did feel mildly unconfortablwe in that occasion where I played bass in my sister's second badnd, but I am fuck j g drunk so my meory is not really trustworthy, i dunno. ). I want to feel anonymous if I am going to do something in a social situation. Or at least not feel like "myself". It is weird and unconfortable.
Damned emodrunkery, I hope that the next time I get drunk I don't get depressed, i ope that I become a happydrunk, otherwise, what's the point? Lowering my faculties so I can feel shitty=? That fucking sucks.
At least she managed to get out of high school/preparatory school with a clean record, and iam happy for her. She is great for almost everything and I hope that she does well in whatever the hell she chooses to do.
Today was her graduation party, I did not go to my very own graduation party, and i do not regert that, but it made me realize (with the help of the alcohol) a couple of things.
a) I have not done anythingo f importance in my 20 years of life. Nothing at all. Oh well. That is shitty. Very shitty. I am not important to anone but my close family, maybe to some of my friends, btu I doubt it. This time alcohol, instead of making me a happier, dumber person has made me a emoer, dumber person. Bah.
b) I have realized that I am probably scared of myself or being myself. I don't want to participate on social events unless I am not myself or somesuch. I don't feel confortable on social situations (or atl eastnot in this case, I dunno, i think i did feel mildly unconfortablwe in that occasion where I played bass in my sister's second badnd, but I am fuck j g drunk so my meory is not really trustworthy, i dunno. ). I want to feel anonymous if I am going to do something in a social situation. Or at least not feel like "myself". It is weird and unconfortable.
Damned emodrunkery, I hope that the next time I get drunk I don't get depressed, i ope that I become a happydrunk, otherwise, what's the point? Lowering my faculties so I can feel shitty=? That fucking sucks.