On How Little Things Can Change The World...or at least yours...
Well...perhaps not the world...just the understanding of a little part of it...but as you'll see, it might as well have been the world...
Things are the way they are...there's no doubt about it...even if the appearance is dubious, it doesn't matter...things are the way they are...whatever way we may think them to be...
So, if you have a friendship with someone, well...if you follow the logic it won't work...
Again...take two...
So, if you THINK you have a friendship with someone, then chances are things are pretty good between the two of you...otherwise you would not be friends, right?
But how do you know that things are good between the two of you? Well, if youb follow the logic, you won't, you never can nor will know, but you can judge for yourself...and what will be the basis of that judgment? You will base it on the things you see, and most often that's enough...
However, as all things are Yin and Yang, shown and hidden, the flip side to that is this...the things you see, you see because you are shown these things...in other words, if there is a secret negative comment you have for your friend, but you never show it to him/her, then he/she will never see it, thus that person will think things are good between the two of you...
However, that which is hidden can be found...obvious things cannot be found, only hidden things can be found...because to find posits something missing or unseen...you never look for things that you already see (albeit things in front of you ocassionally being out of your sight...)...or at least they can be stumbled upon...
So sometimes you don't see certain things, and then, probably either because lies and secrets have a way of surfacing, or because the Dao shows it to you, you suddenly see these certain things...things that your friend keeps from you...of course there are certain things people keep to themselves naturally because it is their business and theirs alone...but sometimes you find out certain things like how your friend thinks of you, or how your friend treats you sometimes without your knowledge...these are things that we are involved in simply because we are the object, and these things our friends keep from us...
To my mind, a vital pillar of friendship is trust...a very special trust....perhaps the kind of trust that would allow you to place your life in someone else's hands...(or something to that effect...) a friend only shows us good things, even if it hurts us like criticisms or the brutal truth...and as such you'd think friends don't keep things from you, especially when it concerns you...but when these are kept secret and found out, there is a betrayal of this trust, and suddenly the friendship that you'd stake your life on is no more...and in fact never was...and so it's not so much this person ceased to be your friend, it's more like this person never was from the beginning, because it was in that person's character to keep this kind of things from you... it changes everything, especially if you have trusted the person to a rather disproportionate extent simply because that person showed you that s/he is worthy of that trust...
...and soon, all your friends you realize could be keeping secrets from you...and all of a sudden you have no friends from the beginning...a world of trust has been replaced with a world of doubt and cynicism...and all because of one little betrayal that your friend committed...
...and yet, the minute you realize the process of what just transpired...another process kicks in, and suddenly, while you're friend may still be no friend at all, the world no longer seems bleak at all...in fact it looks bright and hopeful...for some obscure reason...but it is...
...things are the way they are...just let things be and the Dao take its course...
That is the Way.
Things are the way they are...there's no doubt about it...even if the appearance is dubious, it doesn't matter...things are the way they are...whatever way we may think them to be...
So, if you have a friendship with someone, well...if you follow the logic it won't work...
Again...take two...
So, if you THINK you have a friendship with someone, then chances are things are pretty good between the two of you...otherwise you would not be friends, right?
But how do you know that things are good between the two of you? Well, if youb follow the logic, you won't, you never can nor will know, but you can judge for yourself...and what will be the basis of that judgment? You will base it on the things you see, and most often that's enough...
However, as all things are Yin and Yang, shown and hidden, the flip side to that is this...the things you see, you see because you are shown these things...in other words, if there is a secret negative comment you have for your friend, but you never show it to him/her, then he/she will never see it, thus that person will think things are good between the two of you...
However, that which is hidden can be found...obvious things cannot be found, only hidden things can be found...because to find posits something missing or unseen...you never look for things that you already see (albeit things in front of you ocassionally being out of your sight...)...or at least they can be stumbled upon...
So sometimes you don't see certain things, and then, probably either because lies and secrets have a way of surfacing, or because the Dao shows it to you, you suddenly see these certain things...things that your friend keeps from you...of course there are certain things people keep to themselves naturally because it is their business and theirs alone...but sometimes you find out certain things like how your friend thinks of you, or how your friend treats you sometimes without your knowledge...these are things that we are involved in simply because we are the object, and these things our friends keep from us...
To my mind, a vital pillar of friendship is trust...a very special trust....perhaps the kind of trust that would allow you to place your life in someone else's hands...(or something to that effect...) a friend only shows us good things, even if it hurts us like criticisms or the brutal truth...and as such you'd think friends don't keep things from you, especially when it concerns you...but when these are kept secret and found out, there is a betrayal of this trust, and suddenly the friendship that you'd stake your life on is no more...and in fact never was...and so it's not so much this person ceased to be your friend, it's more like this person never was from the beginning, because it was in that person's character to keep this kind of things from you... it changes everything, especially if you have trusted the person to a rather disproportionate extent simply because that person showed you that s/he is worthy of that trust...
...and soon, all your friends you realize could be keeping secrets from you...and all of a sudden you have no friends from the beginning...a world of trust has been replaced with a world of doubt and cynicism...and all because of one little betrayal that your friend committed...
...and yet, the minute you realize the process of what just transpired...another process kicks in, and suddenly, while you're friend may still be no friend at all, the world no longer seems bleak at all...in fact it looks bright and hopeful...for some obscure reason...but it is...
...things are the way they are...just let things be and the Dao take its course...
That is the Way.