The more you try, the more you fail pt 2 (?)
Ya, I think this is my second post on this topic.
I have always been the one who would try to explain how things are, how things came to be, or how they really aren't in the first place. And until recently when someone pointed out to me that I'm bad at explaining why certain people were likeable (the first time since high school have I heard this), I really thought I was very good at articulating things.
It seems that I have actually lost the ability to articulate very subjective/philosophical stuffs. Hmm...I wonder if I can still pull off a good orals exam or fool a philo teacher that I know what I say I know...maybe not....because the difference is now in my situation it's ok for me not to know these things, so I can admit to myself that I don't know...
...and yet, no matter how I feel that I don't know, it seems still when I talk to people, that I in fact do know...because they tell me...and I can see for myself that they don't know what I know or what I'm talking about...
Things have become very abstract, to the point that when I try to use words I always falter. I always end up saying something that I don't know or I don't believe to be true or fact of the matter. The problem isn't my mental articulation, because I know what I want to say. But it seems that I have lost the ability to say what I mean and actually believe what I'm saying, because though nothing has changed in my verbal skills, it's just that the minute the words leave my mouth, I become skeptical of them, because they came out different from what I meant. And the more I try with words, the more I fail to actually communicate what I want to say.
And in fact, the more I try to roll the words in my head, the more I fail to come up with words to say that I feel I will actually believe once I say them.
The more I try to seize the truth, the more I lose knowledge of it. In the end, I only know my own thinking. But the more I try to sort my own thoughts and my own thinking, the more I see outside myself....but the minute I acknowledge that I go back inside my head.
The more you try to win, the more you lose. But the more you try to lose to win, all the much more you lose. But when you don't even try, the more you do not even think of letting it be and not trying, the more it actually comes to you.
But does this in fact support the position of no resolution? Non-committance, yes. But non-resolution? Deciding is willful, but having resolve, is it the same?
Before, perhaps I would have said, yes, it means to have no resolve.
But now, now that I can express what I want to express with not just words but within, perhaps not so...there is still the reality of having a person who is righteous, that when he does something you can feel the effect of a totality of that person, a certain wholeness. This is perhaps the mark of having resolve, whatever "having resolve" means....
...but the truth is this: I am hungry, and I wanna eat...LOL
I have always been the one who would try to explain how things are, how things came to be, or how they really aren't in the first place. And until recently when someone pointed out to me that I'm bad at explaining why certain people were likeable (the first time since high school have I heard this), I really thought I was very good at articulating things.
It seems that I have actually lost the ability to articulate very subjective/philosophical stuffs. Hmm...I wonder if I can still pull off a good orals exam or fool a philo teacher that I know what I say I know...maybe not....because the difference is now in my situation it's ok for me not to know these things, so I can admit to myself that I don't know...
...and yet, no matter how I feel that I don't know, it seems still when I talk to people, that I in fact do know...because they tell me...and I can see for myself that they don't know what I know or what I'm talking about...
Things have become very abstract, to the point that when I try to use words I always falter. I always end up saying something that I don't know or I don't believe to be true or fact of the matter. The problem isn't my mental articulation, because I know what I want to say. But it seems that I have lost the ability to say what I mean and actually believe what I'm saying, because though nothing has changed in my verbal skills, it's just that the minute the words leave my mouth, I become skeptical of them, because they came out different from what I meant. And the more I try with words, the more I fail to actually communicate what I want to say.
And in fact, the more I try to roll the words in my head, the more I fail to come up with words to say that I feel I will actually believe once I say them.
The more I try to seize the truth, the more I lose knowledge of it. In the end, I only know my own thinking. But the more I try to sort my own thoughts and my own thinking, the more I see outside myself....but the minute I acknowledge that I go back inside my head.
The more you try to win, the more you lose. But the more you try to lose to win, all the much more you lose. But when you don't even try, the more you do not even think of letting it be and not trying, the more it actually comes to you.
But does this in fact support the position of no resolution? Non-committance, yes. But non-resolution? Deciding is willful, but having resolve, is it the same?
Before, perhaps I would have said, yes, it means to have no resolve.
But now, now that I can express what I want to express with not just words but within, perhaps not so...there is still the reality of having a person who is righteous, that when he does something you can feel the effect of a totality of that person, a certain wholeness. This is perhaps the mark of having resolve, whatever "having resolve" means....
...but the truth is this: I am hungry, and I wanna eat...LOL