Family Drama
Ok, first of all, Happy New Year to every one who is reading this...except those people I don't like, in that case, Go to Hell! (I think you know who you are!). I have a family-member-from-hell story that will put all others to shame. It's about my dad's brother's wife, she isn't even my aunt, just my uncle's wife. Her name is Linda.
About a week before Christmas my uncle calls and he says that he and Linda are going on a mission trip to Mexico during the week between Christmas and New Years Day and they want to stay with us for those two days. Well that is fine and everything, but they didn't know how many people were coming with them to our house (it could have been anywhere from 2 to 5) and we kinda needed to know so we could make sleeping arangements for everyone. Regardless of how many people came though, my mom was going to put Uncle Michael and Linda on the bed in the utility room (to get back at them for making my parents sleep on the floor the last time they visited), so she spent the entire week leading up to their arrival cleaning the utility room. They finally called and said that there was going to be 3 of them and they were going to leave the night of the 23rd. Well they called at like 10 pm and said they were having all kinds of problems getting on the road and they would leave the next morning. That was ok, as it's only a 16 hour drive (they live in St. Louis, MO) and if they left early enough, they would get to our house at a reasonable hour. Well, they didn't leave their house until 10:30 christmas eve morning! That was ok with us too because that would put them in at about 1 am Christmas day, which isn't that unreasonalbe (we had already opened presents, but that's a side tangent for another post). So they drive all the way to Dallas, which is about 3/4 of the way to our house and they call us at like 9 pm to see how much longer it would be to our house. We told them that is would be about 4 or 5 more hours depending on traffic. Well, Linda didn't want to sit up that long so they said that they were just going to stay. We said ok and that we would be at my Aunt Susan's house on Christmas Day and they should just meet us there because her house is closer than ours. They said ok. Ok, so if they would have just drove through, they would have been there at 1 am, but instead they got a hotel room and, wait for it...stayed up till 3 am watching movies on cable! So Christmas Day, they don't leave the hotel until like 11 or something because they didn't get to my Aunt Susan's house until 3pm. As soon as they get there we eat dinner and one of my aunt's best friends, Rachel, and her husband and their 5 kids are there. By the way, they are black, that'll be important in a minute.
Ok, for you guys to understand this next part, I have to backtrack to the last time Linda came down. The last time they came down, we went shopping in Mexico. Well we had food in a cooler in the car so when we got back across the border, we started making sandwiches, except there wasn't a spoon to dish out the tuna fish (before I was a vegetarian), so I took a piece of bread, palmed it, scooped up some tuna, put the other piece of bread on and started eating. Well when I was about half way through my sandwhich Linda comes back with a spoon, sees me eating and gives me this look of "You're white trash." Ok, So we are all sitting down to eat and Linda wants some of the salad and asked if there are any salad tongs. There weren't and my cousin Amanda says, "Just use your hands, we're all family." Linda turns to look at me, then looks back at Amanda and says, "Oh, are you a Whitener too." So anyways, Linda gets the seat next to Rachel and her husband, Michael. Well she just couldn't have that, so she moved from the table to the sofa all by herself and my mom, wanting her to feel included, went and sat with her, instead of with her parents, sisters and husband. So the rest of the day isn't that bad, but my mother didn't want to talk to Linda when we got back to our house at like 8 pm, so she went straight to bed. Well, when it came time to go to bed, Linda, instead of sleeping in the utility room that my mother had spend, literally, all week cleaning, sleeps in my little sisters room, which is easily the most cluttered room in the house, totally unsuitable for guests. The next day, I played basketball with Brandon, Linda's grandson, whose 8 and Uncle Michael showed my dad is new laptop. Linda just hid somewhere. They left at like 3 that afternoon.
Cut to a week later on New Year's Eve. They get into town at like 5 pm and we are supposed to be a my Grandma's house at 5:30/6 so, we just have time for them to drop their stuff and get in the car. Well we get out there and eat and then Linda, again, disappears. She hid in the computer room watching a movie, the WHOLE night. Anyways, my Aunt Terry introduced the family to a drinking game played with cards called Nights. It was a really fun game and kids can play too, with juice or water of course. Anyways so we are playing and Uncle Michael gets in on it and plays. Brandon was there too, but he didn't participate in the first game. They we danced and popped fireworks and did sparklers. Uncle Michael and Brandon are participating the whole time, while Linda and my dad, who didn't want her to fell left out, watched a movie in the computer room. Anyways, when my parents were getting ready to leave and Grandpa asked Linda, who was getting ready to leave how mexico was and where they went. She said it was great and that they went to Matamoros (a city in the news known for its murders, mass shallow graves, and abductions). Grandpa said that you couldn't pay him enough to go to Matamoros and that they were lucky to have gotten out alive. Linda looked at my mom, back to Grandpa and said (with this tone of GREAT importance), "Luck had nothing to do with it; we were there with a purpose." What the hell, you don't come into town, use my family as a hotel, and then disrespecet the patriarch of the whole family. Ooooh, my mom was LIVID! I've never seen her so mad in my whole life. Even when I almost chopped that guys thumb off she wasn't this angry. So they go home, I stayed there becasue I was too tipsy to drive. When they got home, Linda made to go sleep in Holly's room again and my mom said, "Linda, I made up that bed in the utility room for you." and Linda said, "well last time we were here, it had a air mattress on it." (Back story, when my mom was deciding where they were gonna sleep, I offered to move my bed into the laundry room and I would sleep in Holly's room. She didn't want to have to move anything as the bed that was already in there was an trunddle, but was missing a mattress. I suggested putting down padding and putting the air mattress on the trunddle bed. Well, while they were in Mexico, my older sister came by and helped my mother pull down a mattress from the bunkbeds me and Holly used to sleep on from the attic. Also Uncle Micheal is an Eagle Scout and is still active with BSA, so they go camping ALL the time and are used to sleeping on the ground, on air mattresses, in sleeping bags...you name it.) This just pissed my mom to no end. Linda did end up sleeping in the utility room, but Uncle Michael didn't. He knew that he was in trouble for hanging out with the family and not hiding away with her.
The next morning when my dad got up to go to church, my mom got up and came out to my grandma's to help clean up. Well she didn't even brush her hair or teeth because she didn't want to go to the bathroom and make noise and wake people up. She even went out the front door, and walked all the way around the house to get to her car because she didn't want to risk waking Linda up, who was sleeping in the room closest to the back door. Well mom didn't go home until she was sure that they had left. Meanwhile back at my house, when my dad got home from church, they were getting ready to leave and my dad asked him if they had eaten lunch yet. They said no and that they would get something on the road. Well, mom had been stocking up on food so she could cook for them, but they were never at our house long enough for her to cook, so my dad offered the food to them to take with them on the road. Linda took a whole loaf of bread, the lunch meat, and the sliced cheese and make sandwhiches out of the entire loaf of bread, stuck it back in the bread bag and put it in the cooler. She also took an entire bag of chips. We were ok with this but my dad wanted them to try some jerky before they left. Linda originally screwed up her noise at it, because it didn't look pretty but she tried it anyways. She thought it was really good and preceeded to slice up the entire thing and put it baggies. She also took the japolena cheese loaf (by the way, both the jerky and the cheese were christmas presents to my dad from his best friend). Anyways, they took some of our movies back with them to watch in the car. And if you know me and my family, we are like crazy about our DVDs and stuff. So we told my Aunt Kathy to ask to see those movies too, because if Aunt Kathy doesn't get ahold of them and send them back to us, we are never going to see them again.
Alright, last thing about Linda. When they got ready to go, my dad has some stuff that he needed to give his sister, Kathy, who lives like 20 minutes away from Uncle Michael. So he put them in a box tapped it up really good and wrote in big bold letters KATHY in magic marker. They were supposed to call Aunt Kathy to come and meet them somewhere to pick it up. So Uncle Michael calls when he is at the exit he needs to take to go to Aunt Kathy's house (she told him to call her and tell her where to meet him) and he says that they don't have time to stop and are going straight home. Well Aunt Kathy doesn't get this message until 15 minutes later and calls him back. He says that they are almost home and they she will have to drive over there and get the box. And it isn't the they didn't have time to stop, it's that Linda didn't want to stop. They didn't leave they hotel until like noon or something, but they were in such a rush to get home?? I think not!
And all of this from a Woman of God on a mission trip to Matamoros, Mexico to give orphans bikes and witness to people in a youth prison...
About a week before Christmas my uncle calls and he says that he and Linda are going on a mission trip to Mexico during the week between Christmas and New Years Day and they want to stay with us for those two days. Well that is fine and everything, but they didn't know how many people were coming with them to our house (it could have been anywhere from 2 to 5) and we kinda needed to know so we could make sleeping arangements for everyone. Regardless of how many people came though, my mom was going to put Uncle Michael and Linda on the bed in the utility room (to get back at them for making my parents sleep on the floor the last time they visited), so she spent the entire week leading up to their arrival cleaning the utility room. They finally called and said that there was going to be 3 of them and they were going to leave the night of the 23rd. Well they called at like 10 pm and said they were having all kinds of problems getting on the road and they would leave the next morning. That was ok, as it's only a 16 hour drive (they live in St. Louis, MO) and if they left early enough, they would get to our house at a reasonable hour. Well, they didn't leave their house until 10:30 christmas eve morning! That was ok with us too because that would put them in at about 1 am Christmas day, which isn't that unreasonalbe (we had already opened presents, but that's a side tangent for another post). So they drive all the way to Dallas, which is about 3/4 of the way to our house and they call us at like 9 pm to see how much longer it would be to our house. We told them that is would be about 4 or 5 more hours depending on traffic. Well, Linda didn't want to sit up that long so they said that they were just going to stay. We said ok and that we would be at my Aunt Susan's house on Christmas Day and they should just meet us there because her house is closer than ours. They said ok. Ok, so if they would have just drove through, they would have been there at 1 am, but instead they got a hotel room and, wait for it...stayed up till 3 am watching movies on cable! So Christmas Day, they don't leave the hotel until like 11 or something because they didn't get to my Aunt Susan's house until 3pm. As soon as they get there we eat dinner and one of my aunt's best friends, Rachel, and her husband and their 5 kids are there. By the way, they are black, that'll be important in a minute.
Ok, for you guys to understand this next part, I have to backtrack to the last time Linda came down. The last time they came down, we went shopping in Mexico. Well we had food in a cooler in the car so when we got back across the border, we started making sandwiches, except there wasn't a spoon to dish out the tuna fish (before I was a vegetarian), so I took a piece of bread, palmed it, scooped up some tuna, put the other piece of bread on and started eating. Well when I was about half way through my sandwhich Linda comes back with a spoon, sees me eating and gives me this look of "You're white trash." Ok, So we are all sitting down to eat and Linda wants some of the salad and asked if there are any salad tongs. There weren't and my cousin Amanda says, "Just use your hands, we're all family." Linda turns to look at me, then looks back at Amanda and says, "Oh, are you a Whitener too." So anyways, Linda gets the seat next to Rachel and her husband, Michael. Well she just couldn't have that, so she moved from the table to the sofa all by herself and my mom, wanting her to feel included, went and sat with her, instead of with her parents, sisters and husband. So the rest of the day isn't that bad, but my mother didn't want to talk to Linda when we got back to our house at like 8 pm, so she went straight to bed. Well, when it came time to go to bed, Linda, instead of sleeping in the utility room that my mother had spend, literally, all week cleaning, sleeps in my little sisters room, which is easily the most cluttered room in the house, totally unsuitable for guests. The next day, I played basketball with Brandon, Linda's grandson, whose 8 and Uncle Michael showed my dad is new laptop. Linda just hid somewhere. They left at like 3 that afternoon.
Cut to a week later on New Year's Eve. They get into town at like 5 pm and we are supposed to be a my Grandma's house at 5:30/6 so, we just have time for them to drop their stuff and get in the car. Well we get out there and eat and then Linda, again, disappears. She hid in the computer room watching a movie, the WHOLE night. Anyways, my Aunt Terry introduced the family to a drinking game played with cards called Nights. It was a really fun game and kids can play too, with juice or water of course. Anyways so we are playing and Uncle Michael gets in on it and plays. Brandon was there too, but he didn't participate in the first game. They we danced and popped fireworks and did sparklers. Uncle Michael and Brandon are participating the whole time, while Linda and my dad, who didn't want her to fell left out, watched a movie in the computer room. Anyways, when my parents were getting ready to leave and Grandpa asked Linda, who was getting ready to leave how mexico was and where they went. She said it was great and that they went to Matamoros (a city in the news known for its murders, mass shallow graves, and abductions). Grandpa said that you couldn't pay him enough to go to Matamoros and that they were lucky to have gotten out alive. Linda looked at my mom, back to Grandpa and said (with this tone of GREAT importance), "Luck had nothing to do with it; we were there with a purpose." What the hell, you don't come into town, use my family as a hotel, and then disrespecet the patriarch of the whole family. Ooooh, my mom was LIVID! I've never seen her so mad in my whole life. Even when I almost chopped that guys thumb off she wasn't this angry. So they go home, I stayed there becasue I was too tipsy to drive. When they got home, Linda made to go sleep in Holly's room again and my mom said, "Linda, I made up that bed in the utility room for you." and Linda said, "well last time we were here, it had a air mattress on it." (Back story, when my mom was deciding where they were gonna sleep, I offered to move my bed into the laundry room and I would sleep in Holly's room. She didn't want to have to move anything as the bed that was already in there was an trunddle, but was missing a mattress. I suggested putting down padding and putting the air mattress on the trunddle bed. Well, while they were in Mexico, my older sister came by and helped my mother pull down a mattress from the bunkbeds me and Holly used to sleep on from the attic. Also Uncle Micheal is an Eagle Scout and is still active with BSA, so they go camping ALL the time and are used to sleeping on the ground, on air mattresses, in sleeping bags...you name it.) This just pissed my mom to no end. Linda did end up sleeping in the utility room, but Uncle Michael didn't. He knew that he was in trouble for hanging out with the family and not hiding away with her.
The next morning when my dad got up to go to church, my mom got up and came out to my grandma's to help clean up. Well she didn't even brush her hair or teeth because she didn't want to go to the bathroom and make noise and wake people up. She even went out the front door, and walked all the way around the house to get to her car because she didn't want to risk waking Linda up, who was sleeping in the room closest to the back door. Well mom didn't go home until she was sure that they had left. Meanwhile back at my house, when my dad got home from church, they were getting ready to leave and my dad asked him if they had eaten lunch yet. They said no and that they would get something on the road. Well, mom had been stocking up on food so she could cook for them, but they were never at our house long enough for her to cook, so my dad offered the food to them to take with them on the road. Linda took a whole loaf of bread, the lunch meat, and the sliced cheese and make sandwhiches out of the entire loaf of bread, stuck it back in the bread bag and put it in the cooler. She also took an entire bag of chips. We were ok with this but my dad wanted them to try some jerky before they left. Linda originally screwed up her noise at it, because it didn't look pretty but she tried it anyways. She thought it was really good and preceeded to slice up the entire thing and put it baggies. She also took the japolena cheese loaf (by the way, both the jerky and the cheese were christmas presents to my dad from his best friend). Anyways, they took some of our movies back with them to watch in the car. And if you know me and my family, we are like crazy about our DVDs and stuff. So we told my Aunt Kathy to ask to see those movies too, because if Aunt Kathy doesn't get ahold of them and send them back to us, we are never going to see them again.
Alright, last thing about Linda. When they got ready to go, my dad has some stuff that he needed to give his sister, Kathy, who lives like 20 minutes away from Uncle Michael. So he put them in a box tapped it up really good and wrote in big bold letters KATHY in magic marker. They were supposed to call Aunt Kathy to come and meet them somewhere to pick it up. So Uncle Michael calls when he is at the exit he needs to take to go to Aunt Kathy's house (she told him to call her and tell her where to meet him) and he says that they don't have time to stop and are going straight home. Well Aunt Kathy doesn't get this message until 15 minutes later and calls him back. He says that they are almost home and they she will have to drive over there and get the box. And it isn't the they didn't have time to stop, it's that Linda didn't want to stop. They didn't leave they hotel until like noon or something, but they were in such a rush to get home?? I think not!
And all of this from a Woman of God on a mission trip to Matamoros, Mexico to give orphans bikes and witness to people in a youth prison...