Update.
Hello.
The start to the New Year has been a very sad one for Drew and myself. His mother, who had been confined to bed for some months as the effect of cancer rendered her paralysed from the waist down, died early on Monday evening. Drew was with her, actually by her side, because she had become feverish and was having a little difficulty breathing. While he was comforting her she sighed and was suddenly gone.
Although we knew she had a relatively short time left no prognosis suggested that she might pass away quite so soon, so it has still been a shock for everyone. However, she died without the fear that comes from the knowledge that it was imminent, and with her son by her side who was able to tell her that he loved her.
Not surprisingly Drew is very upset at the moment, although he and his brother are dealing with the practical tasks that a bereavement brings with it. I know that the situation has hit him doubly hard because he never had time to grieve for his father, who died in June last year, because his Mum’s own health became very poor in the weeks following his passing away and Drew moved himself and Charley the pup back up to Birmingham a few days after his Dad had died and became the primary carer for his Mum. That was something he had always been determined to do, not least because when he himself was very poorly with Crohn’s his Mum visited him at every opportunity while he was in hospital and because he hadn’t been there when his Dad died in hospital.
I desperately wanted to go up there to be with him but it just hasn’t been practical and Drew has been much more sensible about that than I have. I researched all the different ways I could get from Ipswich to Birmingham, intending to travel after finishing my night shift yesterday (Wednesday) morning but I have had to accept that even without the new onset of bad, wintry weather it simply wouldn’t have been feasible. I would have arrived after 4 hours on the train, knackered from being awake all night (and it was a hell of a shift!) only to have travelled back the very next day. In the end, though, the weather settled the matter for me - both the Midlands and East Anglia have had heavy snowfalls (heavy by British standards) and the country’s railway network has ground to its customary halt. Even if I’d been able to book a flight from Stansted to Birmingham (something you can no longer do) the flight would have been cancelled.
We have continued our habit of speaking on the phone every day - several times a day since Monday - which has been a comfort to him, I hope. Certainly it has given him a chance to let out some of his grief. Charley is there with him, of course, so she’s providing some physical comfort for him (she checks to make sure he’s okay whenever he gets upset.)
So that’s how things are at the moment. That’s all for now.
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