ugh wtf my life
So I haven't updated in forever. I've been struggling to make time for everything but now seeing as how I'm laid off due to budget cuts and waiting for unemployment checks to come in, I guess I could really come back to this and touch base with some people that I really should be touching base with more often. On that topic, I really miss everyone, genuinely. Before I go to boot camp, I WILL (on the benefit of the state of Michigan) be taking a trip out to the Midwest. Speaking of boot camp, that shit is coming up fast and I couldn't be more excited.
My friend asked me how I felt about that whole issue- she brought up Pakistan, Iran, North Korea- and every other country that seems to be up at arms about the US. She asked me if I was afraid of going to war with other countries, sitting in a desert, not seeing friends or family and being 3000 miles away from a warm bed in my own home, and frankly, I'm not. I literally came across this whole "WOO THE AIR FORCE" one day sitting at my computer questioning what I'm going to do with my life- and oddly enough (just like in the commercials) I had a calling. It was like, "What the hell, Mike. What the hell are you going to do with your life?", and as I sat there wondering, it just popped up; "You are going to join the Air Force". Shocked at my brains deepest darkest corners suggesting something like that, I slept on it. The more I slept on it, the better of an idea it became. I don't know WHY I thought of it- for the longest time I wanted to go to Central and be a Neuroscientist or some crazy shit like that, so I have no idea where the idea even came from.
To get back to the point, no, I'm not afraid of any of that. I actually find it an interesting concept that I will be "protecting the freedom of my fellow Americans", even if they don't appreciate it. The fact that I will be assisting others in ensuring that they can go to school, that they can live a life without fear and anxiety about what looms over the horizon is one of the best feelings I have ever felt in my entire life. It's not all entirely bad; I'm getting paid and I'll get to see the world. I can take military planes anywhere they are flying for free to anywhere I want to go- (Also called taking a hop, if I remember correctly). One of the biggest counter-arguments I get to this is "ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GETTING DEGREES AND YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING WHAT WILL YOU DO"? Well, short and simple, my tech school (after boot camp) counts AS COLLEGE CREDIT WOO. So yeah folks, I'll be getting paid to go to school to get college credits that I didn't really even have to pay for in the first place. Free health insurance, no room and board, and a guaranteed job as long as I have a pulse? It doesn't get much better than that. Sure, most of my friends will have a degree in... "Journalism", or "Teaching", but (as I'm sure most of America knows,) those papers aren't an instant guarantee. Besides, since I plan on having a desk job, (Cryptologic Linguist, or Command Post Controller) I'll have plenty of time to take online classes and any courses from a local college. Not to mention, since I'm signing up for 6 years, I'll be an E-3 out of boot camp- which is about 40k a year. That isn't THAT much per se, but when you aren't paying for food, rent, insurance of any kind, or anything like that, it's really good. In 6 years, even if I don't advance up ranks (Impossible, by the way...) I'll have earned 240,000. If I'm smart, that's a house, and a car. Or even a big house, or a huge down payment on a house. When you look at the actuality of me getting promoted, that's just more money that goes in to my little cookie jar for me to use for things when I get out of the service. Hell, if I wanted to, I could have my entire education paid for all the way up to a doctorate. With the GI bill covering 47k for tuition, 1k a year for books and up to 3k for living expenses depending on my area, I wouldn't even have to utilize any of my "actual savings" to get my bachelors. I just don't understand why this isn't a more common course of action for most struggling Americans.
I suppose I can see the whole "OH MAH GOD YOU GON DAI" aspect, but realistically you are more likely to die HERE then over in Iraq- and just because you get deployed DOESN'T MEAN you're going to be patrolling the streets of Baghdad- it's all based on your job. While it would be admirable to send accountants and chaplain's assistants on patrols, I doubt that would be a likely or very... intelligent decision. I know plenty of people in the military who have been deployed to Saudi Arabia, or Kuwait, or Afghanistan, away from the primary fighting- and they're making BANK from it. One of my marine friends was handed 40k CASH before he left. What does he do? Sit around and builds and moves around concrete barriers. Has he ever discharged his weapon at an enemy? Nope!
I don't know, this is a HUGE ranting post. I have so much I need to write down and or say, so I guess it's going to keep going for now, ha!
I've been struggling with the idea of being in a relationship with someone while I'm gone. With the most recent "break up", I seriously doubt the validity of any relationship period. 2 and a half months for basic training alone is a LONG time to hardly hear from someone- and while I'm sure there are girls out there who would tolerate it, I haven't had any luck finding them. I guess I'm nervous that while I'm in, I won't find anyone and albeit having fiscal, educational, and "job" success, I won't be emotionally happy. I'm not really down with the idea of being with someone else in the service, due to random deployments, etcetera- so my options are either find someone before I go, or attempt to find someone overseas or wherever I get stationed... I feel so strange about the situation. At the same time, I almost like the idea of being alone. The last thing I want to do is leave someone behind when I DO get deployed for six months, and then have the worst happen. Not that it would really matter, (Since I would be dead), but I could never forgive myself if I hurt a loved one in that way. Ugh, the whole concept is stupid. I'm stuck in a mental lock at "how the fuck is this going to work out" and all I can come up with is "it simply will, because you want it to". I don't want to sound cliche, but if something is meant to happen, it will happen, (or however that saying goes...)
I don't know. I wish I had all of the answers but at the same time that would take the excitement out of everything. So much is going to happen so fast that my head will literally be spinning, even as my TIs scream at me for not tying my shoes correctly.
The target window for my enlistment is between September and November, which means that I will be at boot camp during Christmas. It'll be strange being away from my family, I think, but I'll be glad to know that I'm training to ensure that my family (especially my siblings) will have an amazing life with the ability to do whatever they want.
I'm so excited to feel like I belong to something, and not just a little somthing, but a HUGE something. This rant has gone on long enough. I'll end it with some song lyrics of a song I like :)
Well, we fell in love like magic.
Locked at the lips, you taste so sweet.
With your body to mine, we would burn all night as the friction would turn up the heat.
Now I'm stuck here in this moment, becoming the slave who won't be freed.
Remember the day that we met, and the night on the tenth?
Oh, come back to me, I plead.
Honey I won't ever leave you.
I've had the best and I can't let you go, on your own.
So alone, I stand before you.
Don't you know?
I adore you.
Running away, the bridges go down in flames.
Oh yeah, and I still wait for things to happen.
I'm sitting here wasting all my time.
Throw the car in reverse, send the run back to first cause I've been punished for my crimes.
I wish I could hold you while you're sleeping.
The beat of your heart sounds just like mine.
If you'd wrap your legs around my waist, only then will I be fine.
You know that the door is always open.
I gave you my heart, you lost your key.
Now all that I'm left with are these pictures of your face, that I'm too sad to see.
Honey I won't ever leave you.
I've had the best and I can't let you go, on your own.
So alone, I stand before you.
Don't you know?
I adore you.
Running away, the bridges go down in flames.
I love everyone who reads this. If we haven't talked in a while, get ahold of me if I haven't already gotten ahold of you. I hope everything is going okay with everyone (in things you haven't included in your friend thingies).
Tl;dr Military coming up, concerns with military, life plan, love and relationships, song. <3s
My friend asked me how I felt about that whole issue- she brought up Pakistan, Iran, North Korea- and every other country that seems to be up at arms about the US. She asked me if I was afraid of going to war with other countries, sitting in a desert, not seeing friends or family and being 3000 miles away from a warm bed in my own home, and frankly, I'm not. I literally came across this whole "WOO THE AIR FORCE" one day sitting at my computer questioning what I'm going to do with my life- and oddly enough (just like in the commercials) I had a calling. It was like, "What the hell, Mike. What the hell are you going to do with your life?", and as I sat there wondering, it just popped up; "You are going to join the Air Force". Shocked at my brains deepest darkest corners suggesting something like that, I slept on it. The more I slept on it, the better of an idea it became. I don't know WHY I thought of it- for the longest time I wanted to go to Central and be a Neuroscientist or some crazy shit like that, so I have no idea where the idea even came from.
To get back to the point, no, I'm not afraid of any of that. I actually find it an interesting concept that I will be "protecting the freedom of my fellow Americans", even if they don't appreciate it. The fact that I will be assisting others in ensuring that they can go to school, that they can live a life without fear and anxiety about what looms over the horizon is one of the best feelings I have ever felt in my entire life. It's not all entirely bad; I'm getting paid and I'll get to see the world. I can take military planes anywhere they are flying for free to anywhere I want to go- (Also called taking a hop, if I remember correctly). One of the biggest counter-arguments I get to this is "ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ARE GETTING DEGREES AND YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING WHAT WILL YOU DO"? Well, short and simple, my tech school (after boot camp) counts AS COLLEGE CREDIT WOO. So yeah folks, I'll be getting paid to go to school to get college credits that I didn't really even have to pay for in the first place. Free health insurance, no room and board, and a guaranteed job as long as I have a pulse? It doesn't get much better than that. Sure, most of my friends will have a degree in... "Journalism", or "Teaching", but (as I'm sure most of America knows,) those papers aren't an instant guarantee. Besides, since I plan on having a desk job, (Cryptologic Linguist, or Command Post Controller) I'll have plenty of time to take online classes and any courses from a local college. Not to mention, since I'm signing up for 6 years, I'll be an E-3 out of boot camp- which is about 40k a year. That isn't THAT much per se, but when you aren't paying for food, rent, insurance of any kind, or anything like that, it's really good. In 6 years, even if I don't advance up ranks (Impossible, by the way...) I'll have earned 240,000. If I'm smart, that's a house, and a car. Or even a big house, or a huge down payment on a house. When you look at the actuality of me getting promoted, that's just more money that goes in to my little cookie jar for me to use for things when I get out of the service. Hell, if I wanted to, I could have my entire education paid for all the way up to a doctorate. With the GI bill covering 47k for tuition, 1k a year for books and up to 3k for living expenses depending on my area, I wouldn't even have to utilize any of my "actual savings" to get my bachelors. I just don't understand why this isn't a more common course of action for most struggling Americans.
I suppose I can see the whole "OH MAH GOD YOU GON DAI" aspect, but realistically you are more likely to die HERE then over in Iraq- and just because you get deployed DOESN'T MEAN you're going to be patrolling the streets of Baghdad- it's all based on your job. While it would be admirable to send accountants and chaplain's assistants on patrols, I doubt that would be a likely or very... intelligent decision. I know plenty of people in the military who have been deployed to Saudi Arabia, or Kuwait, or Afghanistan, away from the primary fighting- and they're making BANK from it. One of my marine friends was handed 40k CASH before he left. What does he do? Sit around and builds and moves around concrete barriers. Has he ever discharged his weapon at an enemy? Nope!
I don't know, this is a HUGE ranting post. I have so much I need to write down and or say, so I guess it's going to keep going for now, ha!
I've been struggling with the idea of being in a relationship with someone while I'm gone. With the most recent "break up", I seriously doubt the validity of any relationship period. 2 and a half months for basic training alone is a LONG time to hardly hear from someone- and while I'm sure there are girls out there who would tolerate it, I haven't had any luck finding them. I guess I'm nervous that while I'm in, I won't find anyone and albeit having fiscal, educational, and "job" success, I won't be emotionally happy. I'm not really down with the idea of being with someone else in the service, due to random deployments, etcetera- so my options are either find someone before I go, or attempt to find someone overseas or wherever I get stationed... I feel so strange about the situation. At the same time, I almost like the idea of being alone. The last thing I want to do is leave someone behind when I DO get deployed for six months, and then have the worst happen. Not that it would really matter, (Since I would be dead), but I could never forgive myself if I hurt a loved one in that way. Ugh, the whole concept is stupid. I'm stuck in a mental lock at "how the fuck is this going to work out" and all I can come up with is "it simply will, because you want it to". I don't want to sound cliche, but if something is meant to happen, it will happen, (or however that saying goes...)
I don't know. I wish I had all of the answers but at the same time that would take the excitement out of everything. So much is going to happen so fast that my head will literally be spinning, even as my TIs scream at me for not tying my shoes correctly.
The target window for my enlistment is between September and November, which means that I will be at boot camp during Christmas. It'll be strange being away from my family, I think, but I'll be glad to know that I'm training to ensure that my family (especially my siblings) will have an amazing life with the ability to do whatever they want.
I'm so excited to feel like I belong to something, and not just a little somthing, but a HUGE something. This rant has gone on long enough. I'll end it with some song lyrics of a song I like :)
Well, we fell in love like magic.
Locked at the lips, you taste so sweet.
With your body to mine, we would burn all night as the friction would turn up the heat.
Now I'm stuck here in this moment, becoming the slave who won't be freed.
Remember the day that we met, and the night on the tenth?
Oh, come back to me, I plead.
Honey I won't ever leave you.
I've had the best and I can't let you go, on your own.
So alone, I stand before you.
Don't you know?
I adore you.
Running away, the bridges go down in flames.
Oh yeah, and I still wait for things to happen.
I'm sitting here wasting all my time.
Throw the car in reverse, send the run back to first cause I've been punished for my crimes.
I wish I could hold you while you're sleeping.
The beat of your heart sounds just like mine.
If you'd wrap your legs around my waist, only then will I be fine.
You know that the door is always open.
I gave you my heart, you lost your key.
Now all that I'm left with are these pictures of your face, that I'm too sad to see.
Honey I won't ever leave you.
I've had the best and I can't let you go, on your own.
So alone, I stand before you.
Don't you know?
I adore you.
Running away, the bridges go down in flames.
I love everyone who reads this. If we haven't talked in a while, get ahold of me if I haven't already gotten ahold of you. I hope everything is going okay with everyone (in things you haven't included in your friend thingies).
Tl;dr Military coming up, concerns with military, life plan, love and relationships, song. <3s