Bill Fredrick don't take no guff.
**Episode V-- Jim and Lorelei purchase a pair of Nike impax running shoes for Lorelei, despite their inclination to go with the New Balance brand sneaker. Upon wearing the shoe Lor first suffers foot cramping, followed by blistering on the top of her feet. Jim in his flu-like state goes to exchange the shoe for the New Balance, Alas, the evil Forces at the Finishline will not allow this to happen. The bottom of the sneaker which should be pink looks dirty form running on a treadmill. Jim is distraught. "How do they expect you to know if they don't fit right if you don't run in them?"**
The solution...
1. Clean the shoes. The treadmill "dirt" comes off with rubbing alcohol and elbow grease. (Jim starts cleaning, too weak. Lor gets the pink back in, like a reverse Visine)
2. Enter Bill Fredrick. My alter ego. Take one Jim. Shower him, shave him, dress him up, and take off his glasses. You now have Bill Fredrick, and as stated above he "don't take no guff".
Bill walks with a confident stride into the Finishline with his returnable pair of sneakers. The finish line lackey does not know how to do returns yet, so she brings in the "big dawg". The manger who denied Jim and Lorelei the return just the day before. Bill Fredrick does not waver. He coolly picks up a finshline catalog and pages through it. Bill greets the big dawg warmly in a disinterested manner. Big dawg checks the soles of the shoes, perfectly pink. As she transitions from one shoe to the next she asks "were you in here yesterday?" Does Bill Fredrick panic? Heeeeelllll Nooooo. Bill is as cool as the otherside of the pillow. A simple deflected no, countered with (after a three second pause to ensure he is not forcing an issue) a question about the status of catalog orders in the finishline. Bill Fredrick wonders if all the shoe models in the catalog are found in the store. Big dawg's sales instincts take over and she informs Bill of the advantages of having her store order a shoe model as opposed to an internet order. The return is processed. Big dawg asks for Bill's last name. "Fredrick" Bill replies, she asks him to spell it "F-r-e-d-i-c-k" Bill leaves out the r but the Big dawg doesn't notice because Bill has asked another question about products this time referring to his fondness for Asics. They are available only in the catalog she informs him. Of course the Big Dawg didn't know that Bill Fredrick already knew this. He saw it the night before on the finishline website. First name. "Bill" followed by the phone number and finally Bill's signature on the slip. Big Dawg doesn't notice that Bill can't remember the cursive F in his signature because Bill is already inquiring about how long it would take for the store to order in a shoe from the catalog and how that time compares to the online shipping time. As she answers the question she hands Bill his sixty dollars in cash, and wishes him a good day. Bill slowly exits the store making sure to check out the selection of mens running shoes before his triumphant exit.
The solution...
1. Clean the shoes. The treadmill "dirt" comes off with rubbing alcohol and elbow grease. (Jim starts cleaning, too weak. Lor gets the pink back in, like a reverse Visine)
2. Enter Bill Fredrick. My alter ego. Take one Jim. Shower him, shave him, dress him up, and take off his glasses. You now have Bill Fredrick, and as stated above he "don't take no guff".
Bill walks with a confident stride into the Finishline with his returnable pair of sneakers. The finish line lackey does not know how to do returns yet, so she brings in the "big dawg". The manger who denied Jim and Lorelei the return just the day before. Bill Fredrick does not waver. He coolly picks up a finshline catalog and pages through it. Bill greets the big dawg warmly in a disinterested manner. Big dawg checks the soles of the shoes, perfectly pink. As she transitions from one shoe to the next she asks "were you in here yesterday?" Does Bill Fredrick panic? Heeeeelllll Nooooo. Bill is as cool as the otherside of the pillow. A simple deflected no, countered with (after a three second pause to ensure he is not forcing an issue) a question about the status of catalog orders in the finishline. Bill Fredrick wonders if all the shoe models in the catalog are found in the store. Big dawg's sales instincts take over and she informs Bill of the advantages of having her store order a shoe model as opposed to an internet order. The return is processed. Big dawg asks for Bill's last name. "Fredrick" Bill replies, she asks him to spell it "F-r-e-d-i-c-k" Bill leaves out the r but the Big dawg doesn't notice because Bill has asked another question about products this time referring to his fondness for Asics. They are available only in the catalog she informs him. Of course the Big Dawg didn't know that Bill Fredrick already knew this. He saw it the night before on the finishline website. First name. "Bill" followed by the phone number and finally Bill's signature on the slip. Big Dawg doesn't notice that Bill can't remember the cursive F in his signature because Bill is already inquiring about how long it would take for the store to order in a shoe from the catalog and how that time compares to the online shipping time. As she answers the question she hands Bill his sixty dollars in cash, and wishes him a good day. Bill slowly exits the store making sure to check out the selection of mens running shoes before his triumphant exit.