Today's time-wasting ridiculous Friday comics thing
Inspired by the genius of "Less Than Hero", the episode of Futurama where Fry, Leela and Bender become superheroes, I spent some time in a traffic jam (thanks, IDOT, for installing a pointless stop sign at a three-way intersection on California) writing retarded theme songs for superhero teams that don't have one.
Go, go, go, New Justice Team!
Go, team, go, team, team team team
Who's the newest justice team?
The New Justice Team!
Captain Yesterday is fast
Also he is from the past
Not just fast but from the past
Captain Yesterday
Super-King has all the powers
Of a king, plus all the powers
Of Superman -- also he's a robot
Ain't it cool?
Super-King, you rule!
Clobberella beats you up
Clobberella beats you up
Who does she beat up? You!
Clobberella!
Citizens, never fear
Crazy do-good freaks are here
Until they run out of steam
Miracle Cream! Miracle Cream!
Gives the power to the team
Its effects wear off for sure
So they just slop on some more
New Justice Team!
The idea is to write something that sounds kind of like that, and kind of like the old theme songs from the Captain America ("wields his mighty shield") and Hulk ("ain't he un-glamor-ays") cartoons. In other words, totally retarded.
Like this:
Hey hey hey Fantastic Four!
Go fight Dr. Doom some more!
There's no time to watch T.V.
Mole Man wants to murder me!
Stretch around some crimey guy
Burn him up and watch him die
Pound his ashes into dust
Turn invisible if you must
Finding action is their quest
At that thing they are the best
Pass the finding-action test
Action-finders like the rest!
They fight crooks with attitude
This song has four verses, dude
Four, like the Fantastic Four
There's four of them and ain't no more!
Or this:
Defenders!
Defenders!
Protecting the various ethnic groups of Los Angeles!
Defenders!
Defenders!
Defending, securing, preserving and safeguarding!
Dr. Strange, the mystic guy, his mustache
Silver Surfer, naked on a board
There's the Hulk, incredible and savage
Water is Sub-Mariner's reward
Valkyrie, she's big and blonde and bad-ass
Hellcat, fashion model turned cat broad
Son of Satan, he's the son of Satan
Moondragon, she's bald and very odd
Gargoyle was a crazy demon mayor
Beast, Iceman and Angel hung around
Also there was that guy Devil-Slayer
Second-string also-ran jerks abound!
Defenders!
Defenders!
Came together to fight the alien techno-wizard Yandroth!
Defenders!
Defenders!
That was pretty fun!
NOW YOU DO SOME. What, you're too good?
Go, go, go, New Justice Team!
Go, team, go, team, team team team
Who's the newest justice team?
The New Justice Team!
Captain Yesterday is fast
Also he is from the past
Not just fast but from the past
Captain Yesterday
Super-King has all the powers
Of a king, plus all the powers
Of Superman -- also he's a robot
Ain't it cool?
Super-King, you rule!
Clobberella beats you up
Clobberella beats you up
Who does she beat up? You!
Clobberella!
Citizens, never fear
Crazy do-good freaks are here
Until they run out of steam
Miracle Cream! Miracle Cream!
Gives the power to the team
Its effects wear off for sure
So they just slop on some more
New Justice Team!
The idea is to write something that sounds kind of like that, and kind of like the old theme songs from the Captain America ("wields his mighty shield") and Hulk ("ain't he un-glamor-ays") cartoons. In other words, totally retarded.
Like this:
Hey hey hey Fantastic Four!
Go fight Dr. Doom some more!
There's no time to watch T.V.
Mole Man wants to murder me!
Stretch around some crimey guy
Burn him up and watch him die
Pound his ashes into dust
Turn invisible if you must
Finding action is their quest
At that thing they are the best
Pass the finding-action test
Action-finders like the rest!
They fight crooks with attitude
This song has four verses, dude
Four, like the Fantastic Four
There's four of them and ain't no more!
Or this:
Defenders!
Defenders!
Protecting the various ethnic groups of Los Angeles!
Defenders!
Defenders!
Defending, securing, preserving and safeguarding!
Dr. Strange, the mystic guy, his mustache
Silver Surfer, naked on a board
There's the Hulk, incredible and savage
Water is Sub-Mariner's reward
Valkyrie, she's big and blonde and bad-ass
Hellcat, fashion model turned cat broad
Son of Satan, he's the son of Satan
Moondragon, she's bald and very odd
Gargoyle was a crazy demon mayor
Beast, Iceman and Angel hung around
Also there was that guy Devil-Slayer
Second-string also-ran jerks abound!
Defenders!
Defenders!
Came together to fight the alien techno-wizard Yandroth!
Defenders!
Defenders!
That was pretty fun!
NOW YOU DO SOME. What, you're too good?