:/
i thought i posted an entry more recently than the one showing on my journal. i guess i was wrong. :c
delaena's b-day steak night dinner at the artic tavern was tonight and i was exhausted. i slept from about 5om-7:15pm then i was an awkward and unusual mix on negative adjectives for some time. then i felt better. but i let my nerves keep me from making a late arrival and now i feel so guilty. it was her birthday, and it shouldn't have mattered how i felt. i've never made it about delaena when i'm with her, always about me. except when she's talking about leaving her husband. i always let her come first then. i just feel bad. really bad. but tomorrow i'm most likely mving furniture to vancouver, i will need my energy up for that. oye. i hope it goes smoothly. i need something to work out right, and for more than a few hours after i've been dirnking. i need them to work out when i'm sober. i need to be reminded that i can be successful. 6 applications/resumes submitted. zero interviews. hard to keeo the chin up sometimes. i'm officially unemployed btw. it feels horrible. :( got to go. got to stop complaining. love.
delaena's b-day steak night dinner at the artic tavern was tonight and i was exhausted. i slept from about 5om-7:15pm then i was an awkward and unusual mix on negative adjectives for some time. then i felt better. but i let my nerves keep me from making a late arrival and now i feel so guilty. it was her birthday, and it shouldn't have mattered how i felt. i've never made it about delaena when i'm with her, always about me. except when she's talking about leaving her husband. i always let her come first then. i just feel bad. really bad. but tomorrow i'm most likely mving furniture to vancouver, i will need my energy up for that. oye. i hope it goes smoothly. i need something to work out right, and for more than a few hours after i've been dirnking. i need them to work out when i'm sober. i need to be reminded that i can be successful. 6 applications/resumes submitted. zero interviews. hard to keeo the chin up sometimes. i'm officially unemployed btw. it feels horrible. :( got to go. got to stop complaining. love.