(no subject)
If all you've got to live for...
is all you've left behind...
I've been treating myself and the people that have always been there for me like shit lately. I couldn't be more dissapointed. Life doesn't hand you many second chances and most of you have already given me three or four. I've been extremely depressed since the ladies of the BirdHouse went our seperate ways. There's no hiding it. No denying it. I've hurt and taken advantage of the people that meant the world to me. There's nothing I can do about it. Nothing to say. My actions were clear, concious decisions. Regretably. I've spent a lot of time loving. Being wraped up in the constant chaos of something we all know, but I would rather not discuss. When I was young my father told me to never write things down... I think I'm going to start listening to him. Reading what I've written, recognizing the time and energy I have lost, not waisted, is disheartening. I always promised myself and all of you that I would do so much more... that I would be so much more. It would be a lie to say that I plan to start. Whether I decide to grow up or to contiue to avoid reality won't matter- I'm going to die anyhow. I would rather die knowing that I enjoyed every second of my life then die knowing I was nothing but success. Unfortunately- this path isn't taking me in either direction.
NINE DAYS BITCHES.
i miss you guys... you know who you are. i never meant to... i just never meant to...
is all you've left behind...
I've been treating myself and the people that have always been there for me like shit lately. I couldn't be more dissapointed. Life doesn't hand you many second chances and most of you have already given me three or four. I've been extremely depressed since the ladies of the BirdHouse went our seperate ways. There's no hiding it. No denying it. I've hurt and taken advantage of the people that meant the world to me. There's nothing I can do about it. Nothing to say. My actions were clear, concious decisions. Regretably. I've spent a lot of time loving. Being wraped up in the constant chaos of something we all know, but I would rather not discuss. When I was young my father told me to never write things down... I think I'm going to start listening to him. Reading what I've written, recognizing the time and energy I have lost, not waisted, is disheartening. I always promised myself and all of you that I would do so much more... that I would be so much more. It would be a lie to say that I plan to start. Whether I decide to grow up or to contiue to avoid reality won't matter- I'm going to die anyhow. I would rather die knowing that I enjoyed every second of my life then die knowing I was nothing but success. Unfortunately- this path isn't taking me in either direction.
NINE DAYS BITCHES.
i miss you guys... you know who you are. i never meant to... i just never meant to...