Determination is a Beautiful Nuisance (5/?)
Fandom: Bomb Girls
Pairing: Betty/Kate (McAndrews), Betty/Gladys friendship
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and won't make any money from this.
Spoilers through the end of season 1
A/N: Thanks for everyone still reading, and for the feedback! Kate (she's Kate now, almost exclusively) is having some internalized homophobia, but don't worry, she'll work through it eventually, just not in this chapter! What else? Italics are either for emphasis or thoughts.
Chapter five
Kate set down the cup of tea in front of her mother, and looked toward the door for at least the tenth time in the two minutes since her mother had told her to expect Gladys at any moment. She’d also told her Betty was there, but would be waiting until Kate chose to invite her inside. Kate nervously chewed on her lip as she waited, jumping noticeably when the knock on the door finally came.
When she opened the door to see Gladys standing there, she involuntarily looked over her shoulder, as if hoping Betty hadn’t waited after all. A part of her was relieved that it was Gladys alone, because she didn’t want to see Betty. No, that was untrue-she wanted to see Betty, so very badly, but she felt that she shouldn’t want this, that it was wrong. She looked back at her mother, as she beckoned Gladys inside, motioning for her to sit, and wondered what, exactly, they had spoken about yesterday. She supposed she would find out.
Kate smiled nervously at Gladys, who was beaming widely.
“Kate, or, Marion, should I call you? It’s so good to see you.” Gladys began, placing her hand briefly on Kate’s.
“Gladys, it’s been less than three days since you saw me last,” Kate said self consciously, looking down, as if there would be no reason for someone to be so happy to see her.
Gladys had been unsure how Kate would receive her, particularly knowing the scene that had occurred between Kate, Betty, and Vernon Croft on the night she left. But right now, she seemed like the Kate Gladys had always known, the one she’d befriended all these months.
“I know, not very long, when considering just the time, but we were so worried about you.”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” Kate nearly whispered, looking down. She cringed when she realized how unconvincing that probably sounded. She never was good at lying. And she wasn’t particularly sure she wanted Gladys to believe her.
“Marion, daughter,” piped up Mrs. Croft, “they are your friends, and any person who truly cares about you would have been worried. I am worried. The hopes that you had when you left here, of living the life you wanted…and then now, watching you try to give them up, for me, for your father? It breaks my heart.”
“But, mother, you…you know what that life was…I don’t understand how you can want me to return,” she again responded softly, feeling like the ‘church mouse’ Leon always referred to her as. She was sincerely confused, both by her mother’s words, and by her own conflicted thoughts. “And you need me, to take care of you.”
“Marion, you have always been a devoted daughter, but you cannot sacrifice your life for me. That doesn’t honor me. And I will be all right, without you here, especially if I know you are finding your true path out in the world.”
Kate couldn’t help but feel panicked at her mother’s last phrase, and what, if anything, she was implying, about her and Betty. She felt the urge to yell out, ‘I’m not like Betty,’ but was terrified to draw attention to that thought. And also, she wasn’t sure that was the truth. She didn’t want to be like Betty, and she was certain that she shouldn’t be like Betty, but, whether or not she was? That was less clear. Kate did know, that when she wasn’t thinking about what should or shouldn’t be, she thought about Betty, and had missed her terribly in the last two days-more than she ever thought she could miss someone.
Mrs. Croft looked curiously at her daughter, who remained silent, but whose eyes gave away some inner struggle, “What is, Marion?”
“N-nothing mother, I-I just…I’m just not sure what you mean.”
“Ah.” There was the answer. Mrs. Croft knew exactly what her daughter feared she had been referring to, and also knew that this was not the time to force the matter. Nor was it actually what she had meant, at least, solely. “I mean, you love to sing and you were able to use your voice in the way that it was meant to be used, you loved to work and you were able to have a job that you felt was worthwhile, you had friends, and you were safe.” Mrs. Croft looked pointedly at her daughter as she said this last sentence, making it clear that she believed it, no matter what had happened between her and Betty, and what that might mean for her future.
Gladys, meanwhile, had only been able to suppress her urge to break into the conversation so long, and chimed in with, “And you were happy! Kate, I know what it’s like, to leave one life for another. It’s not quite the same, but…you’ve seen, you’ve seen how my family disapproved. But we are adults, we are grown women, and it is 1941!”
Kate smiled, in spite of herself, at Gladys’ spirited little speech, and she didn’t even feel inclined to correct Gladys on the name she used. She wasn’t even sure it was wrong.
Gladys, not one to miss important details, noticed this, and decided to plow forward, “Look, Kate, we don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. This is about your life, and your choices. But we are here to support you if coming back to VicMu and Toronto is something you want to do. And I think it is.”
Kate could feel the question rising up inside of her, and knew that it didn’t necessarily follow what Gladys had said. But once Kate allowed herself to think of the life she had in Toronto, she couldn’t stop herself from asking.
“Where’s Betty?”
Gladys and Mrs. Croft exchanged glances, with Gladys recovering from her surprise first, and answering, “Outside, across the street, probably pacing a hole in the ground. But she wanted to make sure you were okay with seeing her before she came in.” Gladys paused, “Do you want me to go get her?”
“I-I’d like to see her, if she’ll come inside.”
Gladys was up and out of the trailer before the other two women could blink. Kate was quite sure she’d never seen her move that fast, but she was quickly distracted from this thought by the wild pounding of her heart, and the feeling that she may pass out. ‘Keep calm, keep calm, keep calm. She is just your friend.'
Gladys returned quickly, with Betty trailing her, head tilted, and hands deep in her pockets. Kate couldn’t stop the wide smile that appeared on her face, which, once Betty risked looking up, she returned.
Betty sat in the seat furthest from Kate, not wanting to overwhelm her, or make her uncomfortable. She saw Gladys bouncing in her seat, and made a face, which Gladys made right back at her. Gladys was feeling pretty confident that seeing Betty would make Kate see the light, so to speak, about leaving home again. However, she needed at least one of them to actually speak in order to move things along. Deciding they would sit there and avoid direct eye contact all day if she let them, Gladys nudged Betty’s leg with her foot, and looked pointedly in the direction of Kate. Betty, being no fool, got the message.
“So…you’ve been talking to Gladys and your mother about things?” ‘Genius line, Betty’, she thought to herself, and barely avoided closing her eyes in embarrassment.
“Yes,” Kate answered shyly, “And I’m glad you two came to see me.”
Betty let out a breath in relief, as she realized that Kate didn’t hate her. That was plenty, for right now.
“If you want to come back, we want you to come back. I…uh…I-we can be friends, go back to how it was, before-you know, before you left. Anything…” gosh, this was awkward with everyone staring at her and Mrs. Croft right there, and the Bible on the counter seeming like it was inching closer to her, “Anything that happened, won’t happen again. You-your friendship is more important to me, than, anything, and…I just want you to be happy and whatever it takes. I don’t want you to get hurt, Kate. I mean, Marion, sorry.” Betty wanted to crawl under the table after that muddled speech, but kept her head up, and waited for the reply.
“You can call me Kate, Betty,” she responded, smiling. That simple statement meant the world to Betty, because it meant she didn’t want to end her life as Kate Andrews, the life she’d had with all of them.
“I can stay away from you, once we get back, if that will make it easier,” Betty said, just to eliminate any possible barrier to Kate’s return. Her heart would break, if Kate agreed to it, but it was still something she was willing to do, without question.
In some ways, Kate thought, that would make everything so much easier. And Kate wasn’t sure what the right response was. The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted to go back. Her mother had made it clear, since her return home, that she did not want her to stay. And after her father’s beating, she’d realized that what Leon said was true, words were easy; her father hadn’t changed. With everything that had happened last week, within such a short period of time-her father finding her, Betty…Betty showing her how she felt, Pearl Harbor-it had been too much, and she ran away. And was it easier? Yes, in some ways-back to her old life, where she knew what to expect, but also where she was forced to fold in on herself, emotionally and sometimes physically, to keep safe. Losing herself wasn’t easier. And losing Betty hadn’t been either.
“I just…no, I don’t want that. But I don’t know…I can’t-“ Kate wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence, but Betty seemed to know what she was trying to say.
“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to know anything right now. Well, except whether or not you are coming back with us. Cause, sister, that train is leaving soon,” Betty said, leaning forward and smiling, in her old familiar way.
Kate looked at her mother, who nodded, and then back to Gladys and Betty, “I want to go back.”
Gladys leapt from her seat for the second time that day, the pent up energy of sitting in silence bursting out. “All right, let’s get a move on, ladies! Do you need to pack? Where is your valise?” Gladys became a whirlwind of action, helping Kate put together her sparse belongings, and then hustling Betty outside so Kate could say a private goodbye to her mother (and also to see how Betty was holding up.)
“I wish you would come with me, Mother,” Kate said, tearing up as they embraced.
“I know, but you are a part of me out in the world, and that’s enough for now. And you can write, now, since he already knows where you are. Send them to Aunt Donna’s house, and I’ll get them eventually.” Seeing the unspoken question in her daughter’s eyes, she continued, “He won’t come after you again, I promise.”
Kate nodded, unable to speak. She hugged her mother once more, and said, “Thank you,” before walking outside to join Gladys and Betty. Gladys had just succeeded in getting Betty to stand still, and relax, reminding her that, for the moment, everything was okay. When Kate smiled at them, somehow looking both terrified and determined, Gladys linked arms with her, and the three women headed toward the train station.
They boarded the noon train, as planned, and were able to claim a compartment to themselves. Betty and Gladys filled Kate in on the happenings she’d missed-James enlisting, the pregnancy rumor, Vera moving into a job upstairs, and Gladys becoming a road menace in the Packard. But eventually, they fell silent, watching the countryside pass by out the window. In the reflection, Gladys could see Kate look at Betty, then look away quickly when Betty caught her eye, and vice versa. ‘What am I going to do with those two?’ She wondered. She hoped leaving them alone for a bit would help them at least come to some kind of understanding as to where they stood at the moment.
“Well, I’m going to the café care for a few minutes. You ladies want anything?”
Betty looked up at her, with almost comically widened eyes. “I’ll go! I can go, Princess, you can rest your-“
“No, no, Betty, it’s all right, I’m going.” And she was up and gone before anyone could offer any further protest.
“She seems to have gotten into a new habit of leaving rooms quickly,” Kate joked, once she found herself alone with Betty.
“Tell me about it. She’s been a bundle of energy for the last two days.”
“Is she the reason you two came to find me?” Kate asked, unexpectedly feeling hurt at the thought that Betty wasn’t the one who initiated their search.
Betty heard that hurt in her voice, and looked at her softly. “She was. But not because I didn’t want to. Just because I didn’t think you wanted me to. And I wanted to respect you, Kate.”
Again, Kate’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry Betty, for those things I said to you when I left with my father…I’m so sorry. Everything was so confusing…but that’s no reason for me to take it out on you. You were the best friend that I had there, and I had no right to treat you that way.”
“Kate-I can’t say that it didn’t hurt, but-I shouldn’t have been so forward with you. I knew that you had so much on your mind, but I didn’t realize---I didn’t realize how much it was weighing on you. I was mistaken, in what I did, and said. I’m sorry for that, and always will be.” Betty was trying not to cry, trying just to focus on her friend, and say what needed to be said. But she figured that if she said much more, she was going to become a babbling fool.
Kate, for her part, wanted so much to reassure the woman in front of her. Reassure her that it was okay, what she’d done, what had happened. But she couldn’t. Not yet. And she didn’t want to say anything that she would try to take back later, when she got scared again.
“Betty, please. I’m not mad at you. It-I was just confused, and surprised. I’ve never-that’s never happened to me before…with a man either. Being kissed, I mean.” Kate blushed profusely at those words, and both she and Betty suddenly found the floor very interesting. Betty had no idea what to say in response to that, because all she was thinking about was knocking her head against the side of their compartment, repeatedly.
“I didn’t realize, Kate,” she laughed, “I feel like I keep saying that. I guess there was a lot I didn’t realize.”
“Me too,” Kate agreed softly, “I want us to be friends, like we were before. And then…I just need time, Betty, to sort out my thoughts.”
Betty nodded a little too fast at this, feeling shock, and some hope arise in her, which she desperately tried to shove back down into the pit of her stomach, or wherever her hopes went to die. Because, she couldn’t be interpreting that correctly. What thoughts? What thoughts would Kate need to sort out? Other than…Betty couldn’t even bring herself to think it. She focused on the other part of Kate’s statement, about being friends, and feeling relief that she at least hadn’t lost that.
“Of course, whatever you need, Kate. And you’ll always have a friend in me.”
Kate swallowed hard, thinking that she couldn’t keep talking to Betty about this right now, or she would say something she wasn’t quite ready to say.
“Thank you. And, can we…can we maybe talk about something else?”
Betty laughed loudly at this, mostly with relief at having apparently survived the conversation. “No arguments here. Pick a topic.”
“Billie Holiday,” Kate said, smiling. She knew she’d have to spend some significant time searching her own heart, once they got back to the boarding house. But for now, she was happy to just talk with her friend, about her other love, music.
Gladys, meanwhile, could tell by the looks on their faces that they’d finally come to some sort of agreement, and she could finally stop wandering around awkwardly in the aisle.
To be continued…
Pairing: Betty/Kate (McAndrews), Betty/Gladys friendship
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and won't make any money from this.
Spoilers through the end of season 1
A/N: Thanks for everyone still reading, and for the feedback! Kate (she's Kate now, almost exclusively) is having some internalized homophobia, but don't worry, she'll work through it eventually, just not in this chapter! What else? Italics are either for emphasis or thoughts.
Chapter five
Kate set down the cup of tea in front of her mother, and looked toward the door for at least the tenth time in the two minutes since her mother had told her to expect Gladys at any moment. She’d also told her Betty was there, but would be waiting until Kate chose to invite her inside. Kate nervously chewed on her lip as she waited, jumping noticeably when the knock on the door finally came.
When she opened the door to see Gladys standing there, she involuntarily looked over her shoulder, as if hoping Betty hadn’t waited after all. A part of her was relieved that it was Gladys alone, because she didn’t want to see Betty. No, that was untrue-she wanted to see Betty, so very badly, but she felt that she shouldn’t want this, that it was wrong. She looked back at her mother, as she beckoned Gladys inside, motioning for her to sit, and wondered what, exactly, they had spoken about yesterday. She supposed she would find out.
Kate smiled nervously at Gladys, who was beaming widely.
“Kate, or, Marion, should I call you? It’s so good to see you.” Gladys began, placing her hand briefly on Kate’s.
“Gladys, it’s been less than three days since you saw me last,” Kate said self consciously, looking down, as if there would be no reason for someone to be so happy to see her.
Gladys had been unsure how Kate would receive her, particularly knowing the scene that had occurred between Kate, Betty, and Vernon Croft on the night she left. But right now, she seemed like the Kate Gladys had always known, the one she’d befriended all these months.
“I know, not very long, when considering just the time, but we were so worried about you.”
“You don’t have to worry about me,” Kate nearly whispered, looking down. She cringed when she realized how unconvincing that probably sounded. She never was good at lying. And she wasn’t particularly sure she wanted Gladys to believe her.
“Marion, daughter,” piped up Mrs. Croft, “they are your friends, and any person who truly cares about you would have been worried. I am worried. The hopes that you had when you left here, of living the life you wanted…and then now, watching you try to give them up, for me, for your father? It breaks my heart.”
“But, mother, you…you know what that life was…I don’t understand how you can want me to return,” she again responded softly, feeling like the ‘church mouse’ Leon always referred to her as. She was sincerely confused, both by her mother’s words, and by her own conflicted thoughts. “And you need me, to take care of you.”
“Marion, you have always been a devoted daughter, but you cannot sacrifice your life for me. That doesn’t honor me. And I will be all right, without you here, especially if I know you are finding your true path out in the world.”
Kate couldn’t help but feel panicked at her mother’s last phrase, and what, if anything, she was implying, about her and Betty. She felt the urge to yell out, ‘I’m not like Betty,’ but was terrified to draw attention to that thought. And also, she wasn’t sure that was the truth. She didn’t want to be like Betty, and she was certain that she shouldn’t be like Betty, but, whether or not she was? That was less clear. Kate did know, that when she wasn’t thinking about what should or shouldn’t be, she thought about Betty, and had missed her terribly in the last two days-more than she ever thought she could miss someone.
Mrs. Croft looked curiously at her daughter, who remained silent, but whose eyes gave away some inner struggle, “What is, Marion?”
“N-nothing mother, I-I just…I’m just not sure what you mean.”
“Ah.” There was the answer. Mrs. Croft knew exactly what her daughter feared she had been referring to, and also knew that this was not the time to force the matter. Nor was it actually what she had meant, at least, solely. “I mean, you love to sing and you were able to use your voice in the way that it was meant to be used, you loved to work and you were able to have a job that you felt was worthwhile, you had friends, and you were safe.” Mrs. Croft looked pointedly at her daughter as she said this last sentence, making it clear that she believed it, no matter what had happened between her and Betty, and what that might mean for her future.
Gladys, meanwhile, had only been able to suppress her urge to break into the conversation so long, and chimed in with, “And you were happy! Kate, I know what it’s like, to leave one life for another. It’s not quite the same, but…you’ve seen, you’ve seen how my family disapproved. But we are adults, we are grown women, and it is 1941!”
Kate smiled, in spite of herself, at Gladys’ spirited little speech, and she didn’t even feel inclined to correct Gladys on the name she used. She wasn’t even sure it was wrong.
Gladys, not one to miss important details, noticed this, and decided to plow forward, “Look, Kate, we don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do. This is about your life, and your choices. But we are here to support you if coming back to VicMu and Toronto is something you want to do. And I think it is.”
Kate could feel the question rising up inside of her, and knew that it didn’t necessarily follow what Gladys had said. But once Kate allowed herself to think of the life she had in Toronto, she couldn’t stop herself from asking.
“Where’s Betty?”
Gladys and Mrs. Croft exchanged glances, with Gladys recovering from her surprise first, and answering, “Outside, across the street, probably pacing a hole in the ground. But she wanted to make sure you were okay with seeing her before she came in.” Gladys paused, “Do you want me to go get her?”
“I-I’d like to see her, if she’ll come inside.”
Gladys was up and out of the trailer before the other two women could blink. Kate was quite sure she’d never seen her move that fast, but she was quickly distracted from this thought by the wild pounding of her heart, and the feeling that she may pass out. ‘Keep calm, keep calm, keep calm. She is just your friend.'
Gladys returned quickly, with Betty trailing her, head tilted, and hands deep in her pockets. Kate couldn’t stop the wide smile that appeared on her face, which, once Betty risked looking up, she returned.
Betty sat in the seat furthest from Kate, not wanting to overwhelm her, or make her uncomfortable. She saw Gladys bouncing in her seat, and made a face, which Gladys made right back at her. Gladys was feeling pretty confident that seeing Betty would make Kate see the light, so to speak, about leaving home again. However, she needed at least one of them to actually speak in order to move things along. Deciding they would sit there and avoid direct eye contact all day if she let them, Gladys nudged Betty’s leg with her foot, and looked pointedly in the direction of Kate. Betty, being no fool, got the message.
“So…you’ve been talking to Gladys and your mother about things?” ‘Genius line, Betty’, she thought to herself, and barely avoided closing her eyes in embarrassment.
“Yes,” Kate answered shyly, “And I’m glad you two came to see me.”
Betty let out a breath in relief, as she realized that Kate didn’t hate her. That was plenty, for right now.
“If you want to come back, we want you to come back. I…uh…I-we can be friends, go back to how it was, before-you know, before you left. Anything…” gosh, this was awkward with everyone staring at her and Mrs. Croft right there, and the Bible on the counter seeming like it was inching closer to her, “Anything that happened, won’t happen again. You-your friendship is more important to me, than, anything, and…I just want you to be happy and whatever it takes. I don’t want you to get hurt, Kate. I mean, Marion, sorry.” Betty wanted to crawl under the table after that muddled speech, but kept her head up, and waited for the reply.
“You can call me Kate, Betty,” she responded, smiling. That simple statement meant the world to Betty, because it meant she didn’t want to end her life as Kate Andrews, the life she’d had with all of them.
“I can stay away from you, once we get back, if that will make it easier,” Betty said, just to eliminate any possible barrier to Kate’s return. Her heart would break, if Kate agreed to it, but it was still something she was willing to do, without question.
In some ways, Kate thought, that would make everything so much easier. And Kate wasn’t sure what the right response was. The only thing she knew for sure was that she wanted to go back. Her mother had made it clear, since her return home, that she did not want her to stay. And after her father’s beating, she’d realized that what Leon said was true, words were easy; her father hadn’t changed. With everything that had happened last week, within such a short period of time-her father finding her, Betty…Betty showing her how she felt, Pearl Harbor-it had been too much, and she ran away. And was it easier? Yes, in some ways-back to her old life, where she knew what to expect, but also where she was forced to fold in on herself, emotionally and sometimes physically, to keep safe. Losing herself wasn’t easier. And losing Betty hadn’t been either.
“I just…no, I don’t want that. But I don’t know…I can’t-“ Kate wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence, but Betty seemed to know what she was trying to say.
“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to know anything right now. Well, except whether or not you are coming back with us. Cause, sister, that train is leaving soon,” Betty said, leaning forward and smiling, in her old familiar way.
Kate looked at her mother, who nodded, and then back to Gladys and Betty, “I want to go back.”
Gladys leapt from her seat for the second time that day, the pent up energy of sitting in silence bursting out. “All right, let’s get a move on, ladies! Do you need to pack? Where is your valise?” Gladys became a whirlwind of action, helping Kate put together her sparse belongings, and then hustling Betty outside so Kate could say a private goodbye to her mother (and also to see how Betty was holding up.)
“I wish you would come with me, Mother,” Kate said, tearing up as they embraced.
“I know, but you are a part of me out in the world, and that’s enough for now. And you can write, now, since he already knows where you are. Send them to Aunt Donna’s house, and I’ll get them eventually.” Seeing the unspoken question in her daughter’s eyes, she continued, “He won’t come after you again, I promise.”
Kate nodded, unable to speak. She hugged her mother once more, and said, “Thank you,” before walking outside to join Gladys and Betty. Gladys had just succeeded in getting Betty to stand still, and relax, reminding her that, for the moment, everything was okay. When Kate smiled at them, somehow looking both terrified and determined, Gladys linked arms with her, and the three women headed toward the train station.
They boarded the noon train, as planned, and were able to claim a compartment to themselves. Betty and Gladys filled Kate in on the happenings she’d missed-James enlisting, the pregnancy rumor, Vera moving into a job upstairs, and Gladys becoming a road menace in the Packard. But eventually, they fell silent, watching the countryside pass by out the window. In the reflection, Gladys could see Kate look at Betty, then look away quickly when Betty caught her eye, and vice versa. ‘What am I going to do with those two?’ She wondered. She hoped leaving them alone for a bit would help them at least come to some kind of understanding as to where they stood at the moment.
“Well, I’m going to the café care for a few minutes. You ladies want anything?”
Betty looked up at her, with almost comically widened eyes. “I’ll go! I can go, Princess, you can rest your-“
“No, no, Betty, it’s all right, I’m going.” And she was up and gone before anyone could offer any further protest.
“She seems to have gotten into a new habit of leaving rooms quickly,” Kate joked, once she found herself alone with Betty.
“Tell me about it. She’s been a bundle of energy for the last two days.”
“Is she the reason you two came to find me?” Kate asked, unexpectedly feeling hurt at the thought that Betty wasn’t the one who initiated their search.
Betty heard that hurt in her voice, and looked at her softly. “She was. But not because I didn’t want to. Just because I didn’t think you wanted me to. And I wanted to respect you, Kate.”
Again, Kate’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry Betty, for those things I said to you when I left with my father…I’m so sorry. Everything was so confusing…but that’s no reason for me to take it out on you. You were the best friend that I had there, and I had no right to treat you that way.”
“Kate-I can’t say that it didn’t hurt, but-I shouldn’t have been so forward with you. I knew that you had so much on your mind, but I didn’t realize---I didn’t realize how much it was weighing on you. I was mistaken, in what I did, and said. I’m sorry for that, and always will be.” Betty was trying not to cry, trying just to focus on her friend, and say what needed to be said. But she figured that if she said much more, she was going to become a babbling fool.
Kate, for her part, wanted so much to reassure the woman in front of her. Reassure her that it was okay, what she’d done, what had happened. But she couldn’t. Not yet. And she didn’t want to say anything that she would try to take back later, when she got scared again.
“Betty, please. I’m not mad at you. It-I was just confused, and surprised. I’ve never-that’s never happened to me before…with a man either. Being kissed, I mean.” Kate blushed profusely at those words, and both she and Betty suddenly found the floor very interesting. Betty had no idea what to say in response to that, because all she was thinking about was knocking her head against the side of their compartment, repeatedly.
“I didn’t realize, Kate,” she laughed, “I feel like I keep saying that. I guess there was a lot I didn’t realize.”
“Me too,” Kate agreed softly, “I want us to be friends, like we were before. And then…I just need time, Betty, to sort out my thoughts.”
Betty nodded a little too fast at this, feeling shock, and some hope arise in her, which she desperately tried to shove back down into the pit of her stomach, or wherever her hopes went to die. Because, she couldn’t be interpreting that correctly. What thoughts? What thoughts would Kate need to sort out? Other than…Betty couldn’t even bring herself to think it. She focused on the other part of Kate’s statement, about being friends, and feeling relief that she at least hadn’t lost that.
“Of course, whatever you need, Kate. And you’ll always have a friend in me.”
Kate swallowed hard, thinking that she couldn’t keep talking to Betty about this right now, or she would say something she wasn’t quite ready to say.
“Thank you. And, can we…can we maybe talk about something else?”
Betty laughed loudly at this, mostly with relief at having apparently survived the conversation. “No arguments here. Pick a topic.”
“Billie Holiday,” Kate said, smiling. She knew she’d have to spend some significant time searching her own heart, once they got back to the boarding house. But for now, she was happy to just talk with her friend, about her other love, music.
Gladys, meanwhile, could tell by the looks on their faces that they’d finally come to some sort of agreement, and she could finally stop wandering around awkwardly in the aisle.
To be continued…