Alias: Imperfections (5/10)
Title: Imperfections (5/10)
Pairing: Vaughn/Lauren, Syd/Vaughn
Rating: NC-17
Spoiler: Crossings
Summary: How can you force your mind to choose when your heart is halved by these two women you love? Slightly AU
Chapter 5
"Electricity, eye to eye
Stripped my senses on the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word
What would happen if we kissed?
Would your tongue slip past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you?
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
Room is spinning out of control
You act like you didn't notice
Forbidden fruit
Ring on your finger
Your such a moral, moral man
Would you throw it away?-- A question
Will I pretend I'm innocent?"
(Meredith Brooks - What Would Happen)
They looked around at the safehouse, that hadn't been used in a long time, dust over the furniture and on the floor. Sydney threw her bag at the couch and sit on it, too tired to care about the dust and started to look at the wound in her upper arm, the bleeding not too intense anymore. She had sweat covering her face and her feet hurt. Vaughn sat by her side, looking worriedly at her.
"You should wash this wound right now."
"It's not as bad as it seems."
"Syd..."
"Ok, I'll go. Just shut up, I can't stand arguing anymore." she said, rising from the couch and moving to the bathroom. She washed the wound carefully, cleaning off the dirt, and then washed her face, taking out the make-up and sweat. She looked at her reflection at the mirror, some dark marks underneath her eyes, the fatigue so visible on her face. She sighed, removing the long-haired wig and the other accessories, looking at herself again. She ran a comb over her hair before taking the medical kit to clean the wound in her upper arm. It was quite hard doing it with one hand.
"Syd?" Vaughn knocked at the door.
"Yeah?" she said, a bandage between her lips.
"Are you ok?" he said "need any help?"
She sighed, cursing, when the bandage fell to the ground for the third time.
"I'm just putting a bandage here. Shit!"
"Let me help you."
"No, I'm ok".
"Syd, let me help you."
She opened the door, resistantly, and looked at him. He had removed his jacket, now dressed only in his t-shirt.
"I'm not sure if you can do it on your own." He said, looking down at the badly wrapped bandage around her arm
"I'm ok, Vaughn, don't worry," she said, sighing in frustration.
He moved closer and started to unwrap the bandage to take a look at her wound. Sydney flinched slightly when he touched her, holding her breath without even realizing it.
"Did you put some antiseptic here?"
"Sure I did."
"It looks bad, are you sure it's not hurting?" Vaughn asked, while wrapping the bandage again. Her skin felt soft and cool against his warm fingers and he saw her tensing the whole time they were in contact. "That will do for now" he said, when he was done.
"Thanks," Syd whispered.
There was something delicate about his touching, so soothing and loving, like he had always been with her. He caressed her arm, his fingers sliding up to her shoulders until they pressed themselves lightly against the juncture of her shoulder and neck. He grabbed a handfull of her hair, feeling its texture against his palm, the scent of her so familiar and so close to his nose. Syd closed her eyes, leaning against his touch, and held the upper part of his free arm, for balance.
"This is wrong..." he whispered, as if talking to himself.
"Then stop it," she replied, sighing in pleasure as he cupped her cheek, tracing her face with his thumb until it touched her lips. He gently caressed the delicate lines of her mouth, rubbing lightly at her cheek.
"I can't." he said, his voice now lowering an octave.
Vaughn took a deep breath before diving into her lips, kissing her. She kissed him back, their tongues eagerly finding their way to each other. It felt exquisite, it felt so familiar, it felt unwinding. He wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her closer to feel the heat emanating from her, their mouths never breaking apart. Something in the back of his mind was screaming, telling him to stop it, but he couldn't. This feeling was overcoming all rational thoughts he might have right now, the feeling of this woman in his arms, of her taste, this strong feeling that he never could put into words, the feeling that resumed everything that came to her. And so they kissed, until they were both breathless and unable to say a word. That was never necessary to them, they could just read each other mind's by looking into the eyes, by the body language. By the language they had developed.
Syd was the first to part the kiss, gasping for air. She still had her arms around him, one hand holding the back of his head and some strands of fine blond hair, caressing it absently. She smiled at him, a sweet little smile that radiated from her huge dark eyes to her lips, now swollen from their rough kissing.
"Why do I lose my reason when it comes to you?" he whispered against her ear.
Her reply was a shy smile, while she tucked some strands of hair behind her ear.
Syd started to leave the bathroom, heading to the room, but he held her arm again. She rose her head to look at him and forgot again to breathe when he saw in those green and meaningful eyes sorrow and a hint of pity. She wanted to hate him, to despise him for everything, but she couldn't force herself to do it. Even though she tried hard everyday, she couldn't erase that feeling.
"Are you sure you are okay? You said you had a headache."
"I'm tired, that's it."
"Go to the bedroom get some sleep, I'll stay on the couch"
"No, you go to the bed. I won't sleep anyway."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, I can't sleep more than 3 hours. And when I do I have nightmares, so I'd rather stay awake."
"What kind of nightmares?"
"I'm not sure, maybe they're memories or maybe they're just worries," she sighed, crossing her arms and making him let go of her. She lowered her eyes, not wanting to see that look of pity she knew he had. "Look, I'll be in the living room. You take your time and then go to bed"
She left him, confused, at the bathroom, and closed the door behind her. Deep inside him all he wanted was take her in his arms and kiss her again, kiss her until neither of them could remember their names, but the voice in the back of his mind wouldn't stop reminding him of Lauren. Vaughn pushed it back and washed his face, the coolness of the water more than welcome against his face. He took his time in the bathroom, hoping that it would give Syd some time to settle. When he crossed the corridor, heading to the bedroom, the room was silent, except for the low noise coming from the television.
"Goodnight, Syd"
Silence.
* * * * *
She had no idea of the time when she opened her eyes. At least she had a few hours of sleep, although she didn't feel rested at all. Sydney rose from the couch and turned off the TV, heading to the bathroom, where she could see the time on her watch. 1 am. She snorted at the fact that she had only two hours of sleep and felt fully awake.
The door from the room where Vaughn was sleeping was slightly open. Syd pushed it slowly, entering the room, not resisting the urge to watch him sleep, sprawled at the bed, wrapped in a sheet from the waist down. Her gaze lingered at his naked chest and at his arms, long fingers curling into a fist, holding tight the pillow. She tucked her hair behind her ear and crouched by his side, smiling, so she could get a better view of him. His mouth was slightly open and his hair completely messy, as if he had tossed and turned a lot before finally falling asleep. Syd reached out her hand and touched with her forefinger his smooth forehead, not a single wrinkle of worry on his beautiful face, so peaceful and so out of reach. She felt something heavy in her chest, as if her heart was suddenly tightening, tears were now threatening to fall from her eyes. It felt so painful, the knowlegde that she wasn't allowed to touch him anymore, to kiss him, to hold him in her arms like she did so many times. But yet she felt as if he was hers, as if he belonged to her as an acquired right.
"I miss you so much," she choked out, barely audible, the words mingling with a soft sob, while she caressed his hair, her fingers sliding down the strands back to his face, feather-like touches that made him open his eyes and stare at her.
"Syd?" he said, hoarsely, blinking.
"I'm here. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," she whispered.
"Why are you here?"
"I can't sleep anymore and I wanted to... just... just see you."
He held the hand that was caressing his cheek and kissed her palm, sitting at the bed. Before she could notice, he had pulled her closer so she was sitting in front of him, closing her eyes to enjoy his lips against her.
"I was dreaming about you."
"Really? What was your dream about?"
"You and me walking at the beach on Santa Barbara. Your hair was so shiny under the sun"
"I don't even think my hair shines anymore."
He paused and looked at her as if she was a painting that he was seeing for the first time, right in front of his eyes. It was a look of awe, a look she used to love and now it pained her so much everytime she saw it reflected in his eyes.
"We can't, Vaughn," she said, as if reading his mind.
"And what if we're dreaming?"
"We're not," she sighed.
Vaughn closed his eyes, his hands still touching her, one touching her face, the other searching for her hand. He wanted to be stronger, he wanted to be able to resist the urge, to push her away, but he couldn't. Everytime he thought he could be strong and not give in, he saw that face and it all returned, all the love he thought he was able to suppress, all the exquisite mixture of feelings that boiled inside him, all surfaced at once. It would be better not to think, Vaughn wanted to stop thinking, begged the little voice at the back of his mind to shut up but it wouldn't. He pulled his hands away from her and, the moment he did so, he felt her lips harshly pressing against his, pushing him down on his back, the weight of her body against his.
Her hands slid all over his chest, trying to touch him all at once, pushing the sheets away so she could feel more of his skin. Vaughn closed his eyes and let his tongue explore her mouth one more time that night, eagerly touching hers with expertise, her taste so familiar to him. He pushed her so they were on their sides and started to caress her shoulders and down to her waist, stopping at the curve of her hips and pulling the dress up her legs until he had the hem of it in his hands. He caressed her thigh, parting the kiss to look down at her, her face slightly flushed and breathing heavily. In one fast move she helped him remove her dress and laid with her back at the bed, staring up at him, as he kissed her chest and shoulders reverently.
"I missed you so much," he said against her skin.
"Me too."
Vaughn's hands moved to her breasts, undoing the clasp of her bra and removing it, throwing it aside. Her held one breast between his fingers, kissing her nipple, making her sigh loudly. She had her eyes closed, biting her lower lip, making an effort not to cry out loud while he bit and sucked at her, his erection now poking her belly. The same old thrill running through her spine, her hips rising to meet his, silently begging for him to remove the rest of their clothes. Vaughn parted from her to quickly remove their underwear and returned to worship her body, his lips everywhere, eagerly trying to catch up the time they had been apart from each other. He pushed slowly inside her, groaning as he felt her heat all around him, losing himself in her once again. In moments like these, when his senses seemed to become sharpened, the torrent of emotions coming up all at once, he just wanted time to stop. He just wanted to be able to stare at her beautiful face, contorting in exquisite pain, the soft sound of her voice speaking nonsense to him, the touch of her hands against his skin, he wanted all these to last forever, as corny as it may sound.
He moved in and out of her, slowly, taking his time to feel every tiny bit of her, gently going as deep as he could as she coaxed him to continue, by grasping his hair, desperately looking for the lost balance, as if she might fall from the bed, or as if she might fall from her own body. Sydney felt the orgasm building inside her, as slowly as their movements, as intense as the feeling they were sharing right now. He tensed, his forehead wrinkling, his face contorting in such a familiar way as he sped up and pushed inside her harder, deeper, as possible as it would. He let out a deep low groan when he came, never stopping thrusting into her until he felt her inner walls clenching around him, her breathing coming in tiny gasps and cries. And suddenly the world would make sense again, her life was back on track, at least for this tiny moment.
* * * * *
She let out a happy sigh, blowing against his chest, as he pulled her closer to his body, hugging her tighter. They were lying on their sides, tightly wrapped in each other arms, their legs entwined and her foot rubbing softly against his calf. Vaughn slid his hand down her hair, removing some stubborn strands from her face and smiled, bending to plant a soft and wet kiss at her forehead. He looked at her smiling face again and kissed her, this time at the tip of her nose. Then he kissed each cheek, between her eyes, her closed eyelids, her chin, her lips. He traced a line over her lower lip with the tip of her tongue until her own tongue met his for another kiss.
"I wanted to go with you when I was told you had died," he said, staring at her with a loving expression.
"I know," she said
"Do you think you'll be able to forgive me someday?"
"I don't hate you, Vaughn. There's no way I could ever hate you."
There was a moment of silence between them, Vaughn caressed his way down to her waist, encountering her belly and felt her scar. He looked at her quizzically.
"When I woke up in Hong Kong I found that. This is probably from where they took my eggs, I'm not sure," she said.
"We're gonna bring the Covenant down, like we did with the Alliance."
"I hope so. But the thought that they might have used me to..." she stopped, feeling the anger rising inside her. She hated that feeling, she hated the way she had been used and the inability to fight against it. It was so pointless that sometimes she seriously considered the possibility of running away from everything, from what she had left of her past life.
"Vaughn?"
"Yes?"
"What we're gonna do? Will you tell Lauren about tonight?"
"I don't know. I should, but it would only hurt her."
"So this is just one night?"
Vaughn sighed. He honestly didn't know what to say, because he didn't know what do to. And, although he had thought about this numerous times, he still didn't know what to do.
"I'm not sure, Syd. I honestly don't know."
She let out a noisy shuddered breath, feeling tears rising to her eyes.
"Look, I'll be the last person in the world to press you, but I'm not this kind of woman."
"What are you talking about?"
"The kind of woman who accepts the mistress position. It's not a fair game to play, you know that, so we'd better not even start."
"Syd..." he pleaded.
"I didn't want to mess it up, to bring all this confusion to your life. Although I wouldn't like you to destroy yourself mourning me, I can't pretend it doesn't hurt to see you moved on without me, that you..." she inhaled, pausing again. There were so many things that she wanted to say, so many things that she felt they left unsaid, but still she knew the most important things were implied in their own acts. "That there is another woman where I should be."
"Syd, the things we shared... no one will ever take your place. Never. I can't lie to you and say that I don't love Lauren, but this is so hard for me, I didn't have to make a choice, I simply didn't have a choice. You were dead. God, I missed you so much and there were so many moments that I really wanted to just put an end to my own life, but I don't think I'm man enough to do it."
"You're man enough to admit that," she said, caressing his cheek. A smiled lightened her face again. "And the fact that you nearly died because of me says so much about you..."
Vaughn smiled too, pulling her for another loving kiss, while his finger caressed absently the scar at her stomach.
"When you said you were moving on with your life..."
"I kinda lied."
"Maybe that's not a fair thing to ask, but... would you wait for me?"
"Wait for you to make a choice? No, that's not a fair thing to ask me."
He thought for a while, his mind spinning, as if the world was rotating, the only thing he could focus on were her eyes. For a moment he felt as if things had never changed, as if they still were in Sydney's bedroom, in her room, nothing else to do but be with each other until falling asleep, pushing all worries behind them.
"I'll ask for divorce. You're the only choice I can ever make, Syd," he said, choking out the words.
Sydney beamed with joy, pushing him so he was under her body, her hair falling around their heads, their faces so close their noses were touching. He smiled too, a full dimple smile, as he moved his hand to her cheek to touch each dimple at her own face.
"Vaughn... Michael. I love you, I love you so much."
"I love you too," he kissed her lips softly "I love you too".
She sighed happily against his chest, snuggling closer to him, feeling the welcome numb sensation of sleep approaching her mind. His hands tangled in her hair, running down from her scalp through the strands soothingly until she closed her eyes, asleep. For the first time in months she had a peaceful night of sleep, not in exhaustion, but in peace, at least.
TBC
Pairing: Vaughn/Lauren, Syd/Vaughn
Rating: NC-17
Spoiler: Crossings
Summary: How can you force your mind to choose when your heart is halved by these two women you love? Slightly AU
Chapter 5
"Electricity, eye to eye
Stripped my senses on the spot
I've never been defenseless
I can't even make sense of this
You speak and I don't hear a word
What would happen if we kissed?
Would your tongue slip past my lips?
Would you run away?
Would you stay?
Or would I melt into you?
Mouth to mouth, lust to lust
Spontaneously combust
Room is spinning out of control
You act like you didn't notice
Forbidden fruit
Ring on your finger
Your such a moral, moral man
Would you throw it away?-- A question
Will I pretend I'm innocent?"
(Meredith Brooks - What Would Happen)
They looked around at the safehouse, that hadn't been used in a long time, dust over the furniture and on the floor. Sydney threw her bag at the couch and sit on it, too tired to care about the dust and started to look at the wound in her upper arm, the bleeding not too intense anymore. She had sweat covering her face and her feet hurt. Vaughn sat by her side, looking worriedly at her.
"You should wash this wound right now."
"It's not as bad as it seems."
"Syd..."
"Ok, I'll go. Just shut up, I can't stand arguing anymore." she said, rising from the couch and moving to the bathroom. She washed the wound carefully, cleaning off the dirt, and then washed her face, taking out the make-up and sweat. She looked at her reflection at the mirror, some dark marks underneath her eyes, the fatigue so visible on her face. She sighed, removing the long-haired wig and the other accessories, looking at herself again. She ran a comb over her hair before taking the medical kit to clean the wound in her upper arm. It was quite hard doing it with one hand.
"Syd?" Vaughn knocked at the door.
"Yeah?" she said, a bandage between her lips.
"Are you ok?" he said "need any help?"
She sighed, cursing, when the bandage fell to the ground for the third time.
"I'm just putting a bandage here. Shit!"
"Let me help you."
"No, I'm ok".
"Syd, let me help you."
She opened the door, resistantly, and looked at him. He had removed his jacket, now dressed only in his t-shirt.
"I'm not sure if you can do it on your own." He said, looking down at the badly wrapped bandage around her arm
"I'm ok, Vaughn, don't worry," she said, sighing in frustration.
He moved closer and started to unwrap the bandage to take a look at her wound. Sydney flinched slightly when he touched her, holding her breath without even realizing it.
"Did you put some antiseptic here?"
"Sure I did."
"It looks bad, are you sure it's not hurting?" Vaughn asked, while wrapping the bandage again. Her skin felt soft and cool against his warm fingers and he saw her tensing the whole time they were in contact. "That will do for now" he said, when he was done.
"Thanks," Syd whispered.
There was something delicate about his touching, so soothing and loving, like he had always been with her. He caressed her arm, his fingers sliding up to her shoulders until they pressed themselves lightly against the juncture of her shoulder and neck. He grabbed a handfull of her hair, feeling its texture against his palm, the scent of her so familiar and so close to his nose. Syd closed her eyes, leaning against his touch, and held the upper part of his free arm, for balance.
"This is wrong..." he whispered, as if talking to himself.
"Then stop it," she replied, sighing in pleasure as he cupped her cheek, tracing her face with his thumb until it touched her lips. He gently caressed the delicate lines of her mouth, rubbing lightly at her cheek.
"I can't." he said, his voice now lowering an octave.
Vaughn took a deep breath before diving into her lips, kissing her. She kissed him back, their tongues eagerly finding their way to each other. It felt exquisite, it felt so familiar, it felt unwinding. He wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her closer to feel the heat emanating from her, their mouths never breaking apart. Something in the back of his mind was screaming, telling him to stop it, but he couldn't. This feeling was overcoming all rational thoughts he might have right now, the feeling of this woman in his arms, of her taste, this strong feeling that he never could put into words, the feeling that resumed everything that came to her. And so they kissed, until they were both breathless and unable to say a word. That was never necessary to them, they could just read each other mind's by looking into the eyes, by the body language. By the language they had developed.
Syd was the first to part the kiss, gasping for air. She still had her arms around him, one hand holding the back of his head and some strands of fine blond hair, caressing it absently. She smiled at him, a sweet little smile that radiated from her huge dark eyes to her lips, now swollen from their rough kissing.
"Why do I lose my reason when it comes to you?" he whispered against her ear.
Her reply was a shy smile, while she tucked some strands of hair behind her ear.
Syd started to leave the bathroom, heading to the room, but he held her arm again. She rose her head to look at him and forgot again to breathe when he saw in those green and meaningful eyes sorrow and a hint of pity. She wanted to hate him, to despise him for everything, but she couldn't force herself to do it. Even though she tried hard everyday, she couldn't erase that feeling.
"Are you sure you are okay? You said you had a headache."
"I'm tired, that's it."
"Go to the bedroom get some sleep, I'll stay on the couch"
"No, you go to the bed. I won't sleep anyway."
"Why not?"
"I don't know, I can't sleep more than 3 hours. And when I do I have nightmares, so I'd rather stay awake."
"What kind of nightmares?"
"I'm not sure, maybe they're memories or maybe they're just worries," she sighed, crossing her arms and making him let go of her. She lowered her eyes, not wanting to see that look of pity she knew he had. "Look, I'll be in the living room. You take your time and then go to bed"
She left him, confused, at the bathroom, and closed the door behind her. Deep inside him all he wanted was take her in his arms and kiss her again, kiss her until neither of them could remember their names, but the voice in the back of his mind wouldn't stop reminding him of Lauren. Vaughn pushed it back and washed his face, the coolness of the water more than welcome against his face. He took his time in the bathroom, hoping that it would give Syd some time to settle. When he crossed the corridor, heading to the bedroom, the room was silent, except for the low noise coming from the television.
"Goodnight, Syd"
Silence.
* * * * *
She had no idea of the time when she opened her eyes. At least she had a few hours of sleep, although she didn't feel rested at all. Sydney rose from the couch and turned off the TV, heading to the bathroom, where she could see the time on her watch. 1 am. She snorted at the fact that she had only two hours of sleep and felt fully awake.
The door from the room where Vaughn was sleeping was slightly open. Syd pushed it slowly, entering the room, not resisting the urge to watch him sleep, sprawled at the bed, wrapped in a sheet from the waist down. Her gaze lingered at his naked chest and at his arms, long fingers curling into a fist, holding tight the pillow. She tucked her hair behind her ear and crouched by his side, smiling, so she could get a better view of him. His mouth was slightly open and his hair completely messy, as if he had tossed and turned a lot before finally falling asleep. Syd reached out her hand and touched with her forefinger his smooth forehead, not a single wrinkle of worry on his beautiful face, so peaceful and so out of reach. She felt something heavy in her chest, as if her heart was suddenly tightening, tears were now threatening to fall from her eyes. It felt so painful, the knowlegde that she wasn't allowed to touch him anymore, to kiss him, to hold him in her arms like she did so many times. But yet she felt as if he was hers, as if he belonged to her as an acquired right.
"I miss you so much," she choked out, barely audible, the words mingling with a soft sob, while she caressed his hair, her fingers sliding down the strands back to his face, feather-like touches that made him open his eyes and stare at her.
"Syd?" he said, hoarsely, blinking.
"I'm here. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," she whispered.
"Why are you here?"
"I can't sleep anymore and I wanted to... just... just see you."
He held the hand that was caressing his cheek and kissed her palm, sitting at the bed. Before she could notice, he had pulled her closer so she was sitting in front of him, closing her eyes to enjoy his lips against her.
"I was dreaming about you."
"Really? What was your dream about?"
"You and me walking at the beach on Santa Barbara. Your hair was so shiny under the sun"
"I don't even think my hair shines anymore."
He paused and looked at her as if she was a painting that he was seeing for the first time, right in front of his eyes. It was a look of awe, a look she used to love and now it pained her so much everytime she saw it reflected in his eyes.
"We can't, Vaughn," she said, as if reading his mind.
"And what if we're dreaming?"
"We're not," she sighed.
Vaughn closed his eyes, his hands still touching her, one touching her face, the other searching for her hand. He wanted to be stronger, he wanted to be able to resist the urge, to push her away, but he couldn't. Everytime he thought he could be strong and not give in, he saw that face and it all returned, all the love he thought he was able to suppress, all the exquisite mixture of feelings that boiled inside him, all surfaced at once. It would be better not to think, Vaughn wanted to stop thinking, begged the little voice at the back of his mind to shut up but it wouldn't. He pulled his hands away from her and, the moment he did so, he felt her lips harshly pressing against his, pushing him down on his back, the weight of her body against his.
Her hands slid all over his chest, trying to touch him all at once, pushing the sheets away so she could feel more of his skin. Vaughn closed his eyes and let his tongue explore her mouth one more time that night, eagerly touching hers with expertise, her taste so familiar to him. He pushed her so they were on their sides and started to caress her shoulders and down to her waist, stopping at the curve of her hips and pulling the dress up her legs until he had the hem of it in his hands. He caressed her thigh, parting the kiss to look down at her, her face slightly flushed and breathing heavily. In one fast move she helped him remove her dress and laid with her back at the bed, staring up at him, as he kissed her chest and shoulders reverently.
"I missed you so much," he said against her skin.
"Me too."
Vaughn's hands moved to her breasts, undoing the clasp of her bra and removing it, throwing it aside. Her held one breast between his fingers, kissing her nipple, making her sigh loudly. She had her eyes closed, biting her lower lip, making an effort not to cry out loud while he bit and sucked at her, his erection now poking her belly. The same old thrill running through her spine, her hips rising to meet his, silently begging for him to remove the rest of their clothes. Vaughn parted from her to quickly remove their underwear and returned to worship her body, his lips everywhere, eagerly trying to catch up the time they had been apart from each other. He pushed slowly inside her, groaning as he felt her heat all around him, losing himself in her once again. In moments like these, when his senses seemed to become sharpened, the torrent of emotions coming up all at once, he just wanted time to stop. He just wanted to be able to stare at her beautiful face, contorting in exquisite pain, the soft sound of her voice speaking nonsense to him, the touch of her hands against his skin, he wanted all these to last forever, as corny as it may sound.
He moved in and out of her, slowly, taking his time to feel every tiny bit of her, gently going as deep as he could as she coaxed him to continue, by grasping his hair, desperately looking for the lost balance, as if she might fall from the bed, or as if she might fall from her own body. Sydney felt the orgasm building inside her, as slowly as their movements, as intense as the feeling they were sharing right now. He tensed, his forehead wrinkling, his face contorting in such a familiar way as he sped up and pushed inside her harder, deeper, as possible as it would. He let out a deep low groan when he came, never stopping thrusting into her until he felt her inner walls clenching around him, her breathing coming in tiny gasps and cries. And suddenly the world would make sense again, her life was back on track, at least for this tiny moment.
* * * * *
She let out a happy sigh, blowing against his chest, as he pulled her closer to his body, hugging her tighter. They were lying on their sides, tightly wrapped in each other arms, their legs entwined and her foot rubbing softly against his calf. Vaughn slid his hand down her hair, removing some stubborn strands from her face and smiled, bending to plant a soft and wet kiss at her forehead. He looked at her smiling face again and kissed her, this time at the tip of her nose. Then he kissed each cheek, between her eyes, her closed eyelids, her chin, her lips. He traced a line over her lower lip with the tip of her tongue until her own tongue met his for another kiss.
"I wanted to go with you when I was told you had died," he said, staring at her with a loving expression.
"I know," she said
"Do you think you'll be able to forgive me someday?"
"I don't hate you, Vaughn. There's no way I could ever hate you."
There was a moment of silence between them, Vaughn caressed his way down to her waist, encountering her belly and felt her scar. He looked at her quizzically.
"When I woke up in Hong Kong I found that. This is probably from where they took my eggs, I'm not sure," she said.
"We're gonna bring the Covenant down, like we did with the Alliance."
"I hope so. But the thought that they might have used me to..." she stopped, feeling the anger rising inside her. She hated that feeling, she hated the way she had been used and the inability to fight against it. It was so pointless that sometimes she seriously considered the possibility of running away from everything, from what she had left of her past life.
"Vaughn?"
"Yes?"
"What we're gonna do? Will you tell Lauren about tonight?"
"I don't know. I should, but it would only hurt her."
"So this is just one night?"
Vaughn sighed. He honestly didn't know what to say, because he didn't know what do to. And, although he had thought about this numerous times, he still didn't know what to do.
"I'm not sure, Syd. I honestly don't know."
She let out a noisy shuddered breath, feeling tears rising to her eyes.
"Look, I'll be the last person in the world to press you, but I'm not this kind of woman."
"What are you talking about?"
"The kind of woman who accepts the mistress position. It's not a fair game to play, you know that, so we'd better not even start."
"Syd..." he pleaded.
"I didn't want to mess it up, to bring all this confusion to your life. Although I wouldn't like you to destroy yourself mourning me, I can't pretend it doesn't hurt to see you moved on without me, that you..." she inhaled, pausing again. There were so many things that she wanted to say, so many things that she felt they left unsaid, but still she knew the most important things were implied in their own acts. "That there is another woman where I should be."
"Syd, the things we shared... no one will ever take your place. Never. I can't lie to you and say that I don't love Lauren, but this is so hard for me, I didn't have to make a choice, I simply didn't have a choice. You were dead. God, I missed you so much and there were so many moments that I really wanted to just put an end to my own life, but I don't think I'm man enough to do it."
"You're man enough to admit that," she said, caressing his cheek. A smiled lightened her face again. "And the fact that you nearly died because of me says so much about you..."
Vaughn smiled too, pulling her for another loving kiss, while his finger caressed absently the scar at her stomach.
"When you said you were moving on with your life..."
"I kinda lied."
"Maybe that's not a fair thing to ask, but... would you wait for me?"
"Wait for you to make a choice? No, that's not a fair thing to ask me."
He thought for a while, his mind spinning, as if the world was rotating, the only thing he could focus on were her eyes. For a moment he felt as if things had never changed, as if they still were in Sydney's bedroom, in her room, nothing else to do but be with each other until falling asleep, pushing all worries behind them.
"I'll ask for divorce. You're the only choice I can ever make, Syd," he said, choking out the words.
Sydney beamed with joy, pushing him so he was under her body, her hair falling around their heads, their faces so close their noses were touching. He smiled too, a full dimple smile, as he moved his hand to her cheek to touch each dimple at her own face.
"Vaughn... Michael. I love you, I love you so much."
"I love you too," he kissed her lips softly "I love you too".
She sighed happily against his chest, snuggling closer to him, feeling the welcome numb sensation of sleep approaching her mind. His hands tangled in her hair, running down from her scalp through the strands soothingly until she closed her eyes, asleep. For the first time in months she had a peaceful night of sleep, not in exhaustion, but in peace, at least.
TBC