I went to the movies in '09.
this is going to take _forever_, god. yes, I was actually trying to set a new record this year for the number of times I went to the movies, and I am not even going to try and obliterate this one next year.
I went to the movies 86 times in 2009.
so, here is my roundup, and the fourth annual Lucylooo movie awards!
Movies I saw (at a theatre) this year: "Bedtime Stories," "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans," "Taken," "Push" x5, "Confessions of a Shopaholic," "Paul Blart: Mall Cop," "The Pink Panther 2," "Coraline," "Inkheart," "Stone of Destiny," "Watchmen," "Race to Witch Mountain," "One Week," "Duplicity," "12 Rounds," "Monsters Vs. Aliens," "Fast and Furious" x7, "Earth," "Fighting," "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" x2, "Star Trek" x4, "Angels and Demons," "Up" x2, "Land of the Lost," "The Hangover," "Little Ashes," "The Proposal" x2, "The Taking of Pelham 123," "Public Enemies," "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," "Ice Age 3," "My Sister's Keeper," "(500) Days of Summer" x2, "Funny People," "GI Joe: The Rise of COBRA" x2, "Julie and Julia," "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" x2, "The Ugly Truth," "Taking Woodstock," "Gamer," "Whiteout," "Inglourious Basterds," "The Informant!," "9," "Surrogates," "The Invention of Lying," "Zombieland," "Whip It," "Law-Abiding Citizen," "Couples Retreat," "Monty Python Almost the Truth - The Lawyer's Cut," "Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant," "Cameron Diaz'sThe Box," "Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" x5, "Ninja Assassin," "The Blind Side," "Invictus," "The Princess and the Frog," "Sherlock Holmes" x2, "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus," "It's Complicated."
Honourable Mention: "The Nutcracker."
The Good:
Best Movie/Best Sequel: "Fast and Furious." Now, I know it is pretty impossible for me to be at all unbiased, since I love this franchise, but in a year that saw several awesome new movie franchise launches ("Star Trek," "Zombieland," "Sherlock Holmes") and two desperately-desired continuations of exisiting franches that I have been waiting forever for ("Boondock Saints" being the second), when it comes down to an actual kick-ass, fun, we-made-this-for-the-fans-who-love-it-and-it-shows movie, nothing this year beat "FAF." It would have been so very easy to make this movie suck paint off the walls and still make money, but what actually happened was the reteaming of the original characters played by the original actors who the fans loved, working with a director who understands what makes this franchise great - hot cars, sexy stars, kick-ass music, jaw-dropping action sequences, and the relationships between all of the characters. Getting Vin and Paul and Michelle and Jordana back together felt absolutely right, the dialogue snapped, and the references back to the first movie made all of the people (not just me) who loved "The Fast and the Furious" absolutely cackle with glee. There are so many lines that are throw-away on the surface but which resonate with people who have seen and loved the original, but even as a stand-alone film for someone totally new, the action sequences and the overall storyline rock. It's fun, it's fast, it's furious, and it obviously was made to reward the fans who turned out in droves to see it. I don't think anyone was surprised at how well it did; I think _everyone_ was surprised at how _good_ it is.
Honourable Mentions, Best Movie: "Up," "The Hangover," "Zombieland." Okay, yeah, could I get three movies more different from each other? I don't think so, yet each one of them was pretty awesome in their own way. "Up," of course, is a continuation of Pixar doing what Pixar does best - make stunning animation and fill it with characters who touch your heart and seem totally real. "The Hangover" was scatalogical, offensive, frat-boy humour that made me howl like a lunatic with its in-your-face raunchiness and reminded me why I adore Heather Graham. And "Zombieland" was so damn much fun, so hilarious, and so gross yet completely unoffensive that I am thrilled they're going to make another one. Plus, Woody Harrelson's ass, SERIOUSLY.
Honourable Mentions, Best Sequel: "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, "The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day." I may be biased, but after the craptasticness of the first "Underworld" sequel, this one seemed like freakin' Shakespeare in comparison, plus it had Michael Sheen and Rhona Mitra, two actors I will go see anytime (and Lucian is still my favourite character from this franchise). "BDS II" was definitely the movie that I most looked forward to this year, and it didn't disappoint - the only reason that it didn't beat out "FAF" is that I think it was a bit too much of a movie that played strictly to exisiting fans, thus kind of killing the franchise (because how many people know how awesome the first movie is? I still meet people who have never seen it!). But, for someone who loves Connor and Murphy and Da and Greenley and Dolly and Duffy and Smecker (!) and Rocco (!!), it absolutely rocked. Rope! Ink! Guns! New characters who kick ass! The CAT! I loved it. Can't wait for the dvd. :)
Best Actress: Ellen Page, "Whip It." I know that Ellen Page tends to play a certain type of character - smart, funny, unsure of herself, usually on the cusp of becoming an adult, and she does that again here (shades of "Juno" and "Smart People"), but she does it really, really well. This was her movie, first to last, and showing a tiny-town girl go from beauty pageants to roller derby sounds really ridiculous on the surface, but played out as an awesome, empowering ride, and let her be surrounded by other kick-ass women. This is a movie that easily passes the Bechdel test, and my hat is off to Drew Barrymore for a really impressive directorial debut, too.
Honourable Mentions: Dakota Fanning, "Push," Julie Benz, "Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day." "Push" wasn't really an "actory" movie, but I enjoyed Dakota's lead character of Cassie and the way she dealt with her psychic powers and the difficult situation she was put in because of them. I also liked the fact that she wasn't playing a "damsel in distress" character, but someone who, despite her youth, was more often than not the rescuer in the film. Plus, she had great chemistry with Chris Evans. :) As for Julie Benz, this is another character who absolutely could have been ruined (or ruined the film) by making her into "just" a love interest/damsel in distress, but instead is someone who is "so fucking smart, [she] makes smart people feel like they are retarded." She fills in wonderfully for the (mostly) missing Smecker, and she's a crack shot, too. Plus, she gets to do it all in some amazing shoes!
Best Actor: Matt Damon, "The Informant!." I had no idea whatsoever what this movie was about, and it wasn't until about halfway through it that I actually realized the character that Matt was playing wasn't merely a corporate whistleblower, but a self-deluded sociopath, which is what made it such a brilliant (and hilarious) performance. Watching him slowly unravel in the most ridiculous ways over the course of the movie was kind of amazing.
Honourable Mentions: Ryan Reynolds, "The Proposal," Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "(500) Days of Summer." Neither of these performances were particularly surprising - RyRe does sweetly ironic comedic hotassery better than pretty much anyone going, and Joey is the king of the hipster indies - but just because I knew going in that I was going to enjoy their performances doesn't detract from the level of skill these two bring to their standard game.
Best Supporting Actress: Heather Graham, "The Hangover." I know I'm pretty much in the minority, but I love HG, and I loved the small but pivotal and completely fearless performance she gave in this movie, and I really really hope that she's back for the inevitable sequel, because she nailed her stripper with a heart of gold.
Best Supporting Actor: Jude Law, "Sherlock Holmes." Finding out that RDJ called him "Hotson" during filming isn't a surprise, because his John Watson is definitely easy on the eyes, but Jude also brought welcome support to RDJ's much flashier role, as well as a much-needed balance to the character. His brain and deductive powers make you admire Sherlock Holmes, but it's his sidekick that makes you understand why anyone would _love_him. Plus, I adore that tiny indulgent smile of his.
Het OTPs That Are So Wrong Yet So Very Very Right: Cassie/Nick, "Push," Tallahassee/Little Rock, "Zombieland." Yes, I know, this is all the wrong, but I can't help it - the chemistry between Dakota Fanning and Chris Evans and between Woody Harrelson and Abigail Breslin simply could not be ignored. They play off each other beautifully, love each other, and are lost souls in a hostile world. They're totally made for each other.
Slash OTP 4EVA!: Dom/Brian, "Fast and Furious." Yeah, there was no way I was not going to pick these two - from Brian desperately trying to figure out what it is he really wants to the gradual loosening and lightening of his character once he finally gets his "family" - Dom and Mia - back, to the final shot where he's on his way to bust Dom out of prison, the whole movie screams a slash vibe that only the ridiculously homophobic could possibly ignore.
Honourable Mentions: Shawn/Harvey, "Fighting," Connor/Murphy, "Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day." I really did not expect "Fighting" to be a "Midnight Cowboy" remake, with boxing instead of hustling, but there it was, and Terrence Howard totally coded his character as being in love with Channing Tatum (and who could blame him?). And, of course, "BDS" is alllllll about the twincest - the boys were awesomely brotherly in it, with a hilarious nod to "Brokeback Mountain" at the start, and the delicious discovery that they actually do each other's ink. Guh.
This Was the Year of: The sequel. Pretty much every sequel that I saw this year was a hell of a lot better than it almost had any right to be, including all of the ones that I have already talked about, but also "The Pink Panther 2" (no, really, Jeremy Irons - his shirt, Jean Reno, Aishwarya Rai, yes please), "Transformers 2" (although I think it only really works on the big screen), and "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" (which, thank you for giving me an OTP in this fandom, _finally_).
Best Use of Subtitles: "Inglourious Basterds." Dear Quentin Tarentino: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING YOUR ACTORS SPEAK THEIR OWN LANGUAGES IN THIS FILM. There is absolutely nothing hotter than speaking in tongues (I love subtitles!), and nothing makes the baby Jesus cry harder than over-use of the GAA (Generic American Accent). Dear Everyone Else in Hollywood: If you want everyone in your movie to sound like they are a generic American, hire generic American actors for fuck's sake.
Movie I Enjoyed Way More Than I Expected To (tie): "Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" was incredibly fun and created an excellent, interesting, and really cohesive universe that I would love to see more of, and "Public Enemies," quite happily, had a surfeit of lovely Johnny Depp (who showered!), and a dearth of Mumbles Bale, thank _god_.
The Bad:
Worst Movie: "Duplicity." Maybe I am just not a big enough fan of either Julia Roberts or Clive Owen to really buy into this movie, but dear lord it was _boring_. There wasn't enough intrigue to the heist to really make me care one way or the other what happened at the end, and by the time I got to the clever twist, I really just wanted to go home. Not bad enough to make me want my money back, but not nearly interesting enough to warrant the time I lost.
Worst Actress: Camille Belle, "Push." Thankfully this was a case of a terrible actor not totally killing a movie that I really enjoyed, but damn if she didn't try to suck the life out of every scene that she was in. When you're acting more with your eyebrows than with anything else, you know there's a problem.
Worst Actor: Hugh Jackman, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." Believe me, this one absolutely _kills_ me. I love Logan, I love Wolverine, and I really, really wanted to like this movie, but god, despite being enjoyable in places, on the whole it was really not good at all. I lay most of the blame at Hugh's gorgeous feet, too, because I think he probably had more input into it than anyone else working on the film, and should have - I don't even know, other than done _something_ to make it better. A stronger director, a better script, fewer throwaway characters? Who knows. I'm glad that Wolvie is still around to see another film in the franchise, but sweet jesus, please make it a good movie next time.
The Christian Bale Memorial Worst (Supporting) Actor Award: Christian Bale, "Public Enemies." How bad was he in this movie? I can't tell you, because I cannot actually remember a single second of him in it. So, I guess that's probably a good thing? Let me give you some perspective: LeeLee Sobieski was in it for about five minutes, and I remember her vividly. Ditto Channing Tatum, who was in it for about a minute, and had his back to the camera the entire time!
Worst Use of Canon Gay: Jonathan Groff, "Taking Woodstock." I'm sorry, but did nobody making this movie happen to look over at Jonathan Groff and notice that he is ridiculously stunning on camera? Was it just me? I think whoever was viewing the daily rushes needs an appointment with an eye doctor, because there is absolutely no excuse for not giving him a kissing/love scene with a pretty, pretty boy.
Saddest Death of an OTP: Kirk/Spock, "Star Trek." Now, don't get me wrong, I thought the movie was excellent, and I really enjoyed it. But I have to enjoy it on the level of it not "really" being "Trek," because now and forever, my OTP will be Kirk/Spock. ShatnerKirk/NimoySpock, because the two people with those names in this movie? Yeah, no sparks, no love, hell, they didn't even _like_ each other. And that, I thought, was kind of sad.
I Really Hope You Got Paid A Lot: Ewan McGregor, "Angels and Demons." I actually really enjoyed him in this movie - he's playing a priest, so how was I not going to love it? But by the time we get to the point where he's skydiving over the crowded Vatican while a new Pope is being selected after having saved everyone from a devastating bomb and then branding himself with a red-hot Illuminati poker because he is completely and utterly crazyface and who exactly wrote this, anyway?, it's time to call shenanigans and go home. I love you, Ewan. I hope you got an addition to your house or an awesome motorcycle out of this paycheque, though.
The Totally Ironic Roger Ebert Award For Complaining That A Movie Is Too Much Like The Book: "Watchmen." From all accounts, it was an excellent and faithful recreation of the graphic novel designed to appeal to the fanboy hoardes, but did any of them actually _enjoy_ this movie? I mean, it was excellent to see, and it was obviously made with a lot of love, but the craft and care that went into it seemed to gut any possible heart it might have had. Shiny, pretty, and hollow.
The Please Take A Cautionary Tip From Jude Law Award: Gerard Butler, you are pretty and I adore seeing you in movies, but dear lord, you don't have to make _everything you are offered_. "Gamer" and "Law-Abiding Citizen" were both ass-kicky and fun, and "The Ugly Truth" was funnier than it should have been, but that new movie with Jennifer Aniston looks terrible, and you are really in danger of wearing out your welcome if you keep putting a new movie out every other month. Try lying low for a little while, maybe hook up with a director with some depth, and/or try a smaller role in an ensemble picture. Or, hell, just keep making popcorn movies where I get to see your ass, that's fine too, but don't be surprised if your opportunities shrink if you don't start pulling in more at the box office.
Worst Use of GAA: Gerard Butler, you are pretty and I adore seeing you in movies, but dear lord, you are Scottish. Please be Scottish in a movie at least once before I die, kthx.
not forever, but three hours, and that's damn close. now, I need to eat something before I pass out.
I went to the movies 86 times in 2009.
so, here is my roundup, and the fourth annual Lucylooo movie awards!
Movies I saw (at a theatre) this year: "Bedtime Stories," "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans," "Taken," "Push" x5, "Confessions of a Shopaholic," "Paul Blart: Mall Cop," "The Pink Panther 2," "Coraline," "Inkheart," "Stone of Destiny," "Watchmen," "Race to Witch Mountain," "One Week," "Duplicity," "12 Rounds," "Monsters Vs. Aliens," "Fast and Furious" x7, "Earth," "Fighting," "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" x2, "Star Trek" x4, "Angels and Demons," "Up" x2, "Land of the Lost," "The Hangover," "Little Ashes," "The Proposal" x2, "The Taking of Pelham 123," "Public Enemies," "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," "Ice Age 3," "My Sister's Keeper," "(500) Days of Summer" x2, "Funny People," "GI Joe: The Rise of COBRA" x2, "Julie and Julia," "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" x2, "The Ugly Truth," "Taking Woodstock," "Gamer," "Whiteout," "Inglourious Basterds," "The Informant!," "9," "Surrogates," "The Invention of Lying," "Zombieland," "Whip It," "Law-Abiding Citizen," "Couples Retreat," "Monty Python Almost the Truth - The Lawyer's Cut," "Cirque Du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant," "Cameron Diaz'sThe Box," "Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day" x5, "Ninja Assassin," "The Blind Side," "Invictus," "The Princess and the Frog," "Sherlock Holmes" x2, "The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus," "It's Complicated."
Honourable Mention: "The Nutcracker."
The Good:
Best Movie/Best Sequel: "Fast and Furious." Now, I know it is pretty impossible for me to be at all unbiased, since I love this franchise, but in a year that saw several awesome new movie franchise launches ("Star Trek," "Zombieland," "Sherlock Holmes") and two desperately-desired continuations of exisiting franches that I have been waiting forever for ("Boondock Saints" being the second), when it comes down to an actual kick-ass, fun, we-made-this-for-the-fans-who-love-it-and-it-shows movie, nothing this year beat "FAF." It would have been so very easy to make this movie suck paint off the walls and still make money, but what actually happened was the reteaming of the original characters played by the original actors who the fans loved, working with a director who understands what makes this franchise great - hot cars, sexy stars, kick-ass music, jaw-dropping action sequences, and the relationships between all of the characters. Getting Vin and Paul and Michelle and Jordana back together felt absolutely right, the dialogue snapped, and the references back to the first movie made all of the people (not just me) who loved "The Fast and the Furious" absolutely cackle with glee. There are so many lines that are throw-away on the surface but which resonate with people who have seen and loved the original, but even as a stand-alone film for someone totally new, the action sequences and the overall storyline rock. It's fun, it's fast, it's furious, and it obviously was made to reward the fans who turned out in droves to see it. I don't think anyone was surprised at how well it did; I think _everyone_ was surprised at how _good_ it is.
Honourable Mentions, Best Movie: "Up," "The Hangover," "Zombieland." Okay, yeah, could I get three movies more different from each other? I don't think so, yet each one of them was pretty awesome in their own way. "Up," of course, is a continuation of Pixar doing what Pixar does best - make stunning animation and fill it with characters who touch your heart and seem totally real. "The Hangover" was scatalogical, offensive, frat-boy humour that made me howl like a lunatic with its in-your-face raunchiness and reminded me why I adore Heather Graham. And "Zombieland" was so damn much fun, so hilarious, and so gross yet completely unoffensive that I am thrilled they're going to make another one. Plus, Woody Harrelson's ass, SERIOUSLY.
Honourable Mentions, Best Sequel: "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, "The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day." I may be biased, but after the craptasticness of the first "Underworld" sequel, this one seemed like freakin' Shakespeare in comparison, plus it had Michael Sheen and Rhona Mitra, two actors I will go see anytime (and Lucian is still my favourite character from this franchise). "BDS II" was definitely the movie that I most looked forward to this year, and it didn't disappoint - the only reason that it didn't beat out "FAF" is that I think it was a bit too much of a movie that played strictly to exisiting fans, thus kind of killing the franchise (because how many people know how awesome the first movie is? I still meet people who have never seen it!). But, for someone who loves Connor and Murphy and Da and Greenley and Dolly and Duffy and Smecker (!) and Rocco (!!), it absolutely rocked. Rope! Ink! Guns! New characters who kick ass! The CAT! I loved it. Can't wait for the dvd. :)
Best Actress: Ellen Page, "Whip It." I know that Ellen Page tends to play a certain type of character - smart, funny, unsure of herself, usually on the cusp of becoming an adult, and she does that again here (shades of "Juno" and "Smart People"), but she does it really, really well. This was her movie, first to last, and showing a tiny-town girl go from beauty pageants to roller derby sounds really ridiculous on the surface, but played out as an awesome, empowering ride, and let her be surrounded by other kick-ass women. This is a movie that easily passes the Bechdel test, and my hat is off to Drew Barrymore for a really impressive directorial debut, too.
Honourable Mentions: Dakota Fanning, "Push," Julie Benz, "Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day." "Push" wasn't really an "actory" movie, but I enjoyed Dakota's lead character of Cassie and the way she dealt with her psychic powers and the difficult situation she was put in because of them. I also liked the fact that she wasn't playing a "damsel in distress" character, but someone who, despite her youth, was more often than not the rescuer in the film. Plus, she had great chemistry with Chris Evans. :) As for Julie Benz, this is another character who absolutely could have been ruined (or ruined the film) by making her into "just" a love interest/damsel in distress, but instead is someone who is "so fucking smart, [she] makes smart people feel like they are retarded." She fills in wonderfully for the (mostly) missing Smecker, and she's a crack shot, too. Plus, she gets to do it all in some amazing shoes!
Best Actor: Matt Damon, "The Informant!." I had no idea whatsoever what this movie was about, and it wasn't until about halfway through it that I actually realized the character that Matt was playing wasn't merely a corporate whistleblower, but a self-deluded sociopath, which is what made it such a brilliant (and hilarious) performance. Watching him slowly unravel in the most ridiculous ways over the course of the movie was kind of amazing.
Honourable Mentions: Ryan Reynolds, "The Proposal," Joseph Gordon-Levitt, "(500) Days of Summer." Neither of these performances were particularly surprising - RyRe does sweetly ironic comedic hotassery better than pretty much anyone going, and Joey is the king of the hipster indies - but just because I knew going in that I was going to enjoy their performances doesn't detract from the level of skill these two bring to their standard game.
Best Supporting Actress: Heather Graham, "The Hangover." I know I'm pretty much in the minority, but I love HG, and I loved the small but pivotal and completely fearless performance she gave in this movie, and I really really hope that she's back for the inevitable sequel, because she nailed her stripper with a heart of gold.
Best Supporting Actor: Jude Law, "Sherlock Holmes." Finding out that RDJ called him "Hotson" during filming isn't a surprise, because his John Watson is definitely easy on the eyes, but Jude also brought welcome support to RDJ's much flashier role, as well as a much-needed balance to the character. His brain and deductive powers make you admire Sherlock Holmes, but it's his sidekick that makes you understand why anyone would _love_him. Plus, I adore that tiny indulgent smile of his.
Het OTPs That Are So Wrong Yet So Very Very Right: Cassie/Nick, "Push," Tallahassee/Little Rock, "Zombieland." Yes, I know, this is all the wrong, but I can't help it - the chemistry between Dakota Fanning and Chris Evans and between Woody Harrelson and Abigail Breslin simply could not be ignored. They play off each other beautifully, love each other, and are lost souls in a hostile world. They're totally made for each other.
Slash OTP 4EVA!: Dom/Brian, "Fast and Furious." Yeah, there was no way I was not going to pick these two - from Brian desperately trying to figure out what it is he really wants to the gradual loosening and lightening of his character once he finally gets his "family" - Dom and Mia - back, to the final shot where he's on his way to bust Dom out of prison, the whole movie screams a slash vibe that only the ridiculously homophobic could possibly ignore.
Honourable Mentions: Shawn/Harvey, "Fighting," Connor/Murphy, "Boondock Saints II: All Saint's Day." I really did not expect "Fighting" to be a "Midnight Cowboy" remake, with boxing instead of hustling, but there it was, and Terrence Howard totally coded his character as being in love with Channing Tatum (and who could blame him?). And, of course, "BDS" is alllllll about the twincest - the boys were awesomely brotherly in it, with a hilarious nod to "Brokeback Mountain" at the start, and the delicious discovery that they actually do each other's ink. Guh.
This Was the Year of: The sequel. Pretty much every sequel that I saw this year was a hell of a lot better than it almost had any right to be, including all of the ones that I have already talked about, but also "The Pink Panther 2" (no, really, Jeremy Irons - his shirt, Jean Reno, Aishwarya Rai, yes please), "Transformers 2" (although I think it only really works on the big screen), and "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" (which, thank you for giving me an OTP in this fandom, _finally_).
Best Use of Subtitles: "Inglourious Basterds." Dear Quentin Tarentino: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR LETTING YOUR ACTORS SPEAK THEIR OWN LANGUAGES IN THIS FILM. There is absolutely nothing hotter than speaking in tongues (I love subtitles!), and nothing makes the baby Jesus cry harder than over-use of the GAA (Generic American Accent). Dear Everyone Else in Hollywood: If you want everyone in your movie to sound like they are a generic American, hire generic American actors for fuck's sake.
Movie I Enjoyed Way More Than I Expected To (tie): "Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant" was incredibly fun and created an excellent, interesting, and really cohesive universe that I would love to see more of, and "Public Enemies," quite happily, had a surfeit of lovely Johnny Depp (who showered!), and a dearth of Mumbles Bale, thank _god_.
The Bad:
Worst Movie: "Duplicity." Maybe I am just not a big enough fan of either Julia Roberts or Clive Owen to really buy into this movie, but dear lord it was _boring_. There wasn't enough intrigue to the heist to really make me care one way or the other what happened at the end, and by the time I got to the clever twist, I really just wanted to go home. Not bad enough to make me want my money back, but not nearly interesting enough to warrant the time I lost.
Worst Actress: Camille Belle, "Push." Thankfully this was a case of a terrible actor not totally killing a movie that I really enjoyed, but damn if she didn't try to suck the life out of every scene that she was in. When you're acting more with your eyebrows than with anything else, you know there's a problem.
Worst Actor: Hugh Jackman, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine." Believe me, this one absolutely _kills_ me. I love Logan, I love Wolverine, and I really, really wanted to like this movie, but god, despite being enjoyable in places, on the whole it was really not good at all. I lay most of the blame at Hugh's gorgeous feet, too, because I think he probably had more input into it than anyone else working on the film, and should have - I don't even know, other than done _something_ to make it better. A stronger director, a better script, fewer throwaway characters? Who knows. I'm glad that Wolvie is still around to see another film in the franchise, but sweet jesus, please make it a good movie next time.
The Christian Bale Memorial Worst (Supporting) Actor Award: Christian Bale, "Public Enemies." How bad was he in this movie? I can't tell you, because I cannot actually remember a single second of him in it. So, I guess that's probably a good thing? Let me give you some perspective: LeeLee Sobieski was in it for about five minutes, and I remember her vividly. Ditto Channing Tatum, who was in it for about a minute, and had his back to the camera the entire time!
Worst Use of Canon Gay: Jonathan Groff, "Taking Woodstock." I'm sorry, but did nobody making this movie happen to look over at Jonathan Groff and notice that he is ridiculously stunning on camera? Was it just me? I think whoever was viewing the daily rushes needs an appointment with an eye doctor, because there is absolutely no excuse for not giving him a kissing/love scene with a pretty, pretty boy.
Saddest Death of an OTP: Kirk/Spock, "Star Trek." Now, don't get me wrong, I thought the movie was excellent, and I really enjoyed it. But I have to enjoy it on the level of it not "really" being "Trek," because now and forever, my OTP will be Kirk/Spock. ShatnerKirk/NimoySpock, because the two people with those names in this movie? Yeah, no sparks, no love, hell, they didn't even _like_ each other. And that, I thought, was kind of sad.
I Really Hope You Got Paid A Lot: Ewan McGregor, "Angels and Demons." I actually really enjoyed him in this movie - he's playing a priest, so how was I not going to love it? But by the time we get to the point where he's skydiving over the crowded Vatican while a new Pope is being selected after having saved everyone from a devastating bomb and then branding himself with a red-hot Illuminati poker because he is completely and utterly crazyface and who exactly wrote this, anyway?, it's time to call shenanigans and go home. I love you, Ewan. I hope you got an addition to your house or an awesome motorcycle out of this paycheque, though.
The Totally Ironic Roger Ebert Award For Complaining That A Movie Is Too Much Like The Book: "Watchmen." From all accounts, it was an excellent and faithful recreation of the graphic novel designed to appeal to the fanboy hoardes, but did any of them actually _enjoy_ this movie? I mean, it was excellent to see, and it was obviously made with a lot of love, but the craft and care that went into it seemed to gut any possible heart it might have had. Shiny, pretty, and hollow.
The Please Take A Cautionary Tip From Jude Law Award: Gerard Butler, you are pretty and I adore seeing you in movies, but dear lord, you don't have to make _everything you are offered_. "Gamer" and "Law-Abiding Citizen" were both ass-kicky and fun, and "The Ugly Truth" was funnier than it should have been, but that new movie with Jennifer Aniston looks terrible, and you are really in danger of wearing out your welcome if you keep putting a new movie out every other month. Try lying low for a little while, maybe hook up with a director with some depth, and/or try a smaller role in an ensemble picture. Or, hell, just keep making popcorn movies where I get to see your ass, that's fine too, but don't be surprised if your opportunities shrink if you don't start pulling in more at the box office.
Worst Use of GAA: Gerard Butler, you are pretty and I adore seeing you in movies, but dear lord, you are Scottish. Please be Scottish in a movie at least once before I die, kthx.
not forever, but three hours, and that's damn close. now, I need to eat something before I pass out.