Are You Hurting Too ???
I couldnt sleep last night so I took some sleeping medicine... It didnt help ... it was so weird its like it paralyzed me ... because i was awake all night long thinking about you with my eyes closed ... i would drift off to sleep temporarily and I'd have a little dream about you calling to tell me you love me or you just missing me and us getting back together ... then Id kinda come out of it and start crying all while my eyes are still slosed just lying in my bed unable to move and Id get mad cause I was giving myself false hope... I thought perhaps Id get up this morning and Id feel better maybe not completely better but perhaps slightly better ... yeah that didnt work... it still hurts just as much as it did when you hung up the phone last time we talked .. it was just yesterday ... it feels like 5 months ago... I wihs it didnt hurt so much .. really i wish i could just be alright with it ... not onyl for me but for you because Im sure if you actually read this ... it probably upsets you to hear how upset I am... Id like ot sit here and say Im cool with it .. that Ill be okay ... and i know EVENTUALLY I will be ... but right now i jst cant see the bright side of it ... not one bit ... I hope at least you're okay and you're happy with your decision... i really really do ...
this is where i say Ive had enough no one should ever feel the way that i feel now a walking open wound a trophy display of bruises and i dont believe that Im gettign any better any better waiting here with hopes the phone will ring and im thinking awful things pretty sure that few would notice and this apartment is starving for an audience anything at all to break to silence wondering this house like i never wanted out and this is about as social as i get now and im throwing away the letters that I am writting you cause they would never do I would never do NEVER ...
this is where i say Ive had enough no one should ever feel the way that i feel now a walking open wound a trophy display of bruises and i dont believe that Im gettign any better any better waiting here with hopes the phone will ring and im thinking awful things pretty sure that few would notice and this apartment is starving for an audience anything at all to break to silence wondering this house like i never wanted out and this is about as social as i get now and im throwing away the letters that I am writting you cause they would never do I would never do NEVER ...