musings
So...
My application for LSU is still under "active review." I am pretty sure this means I haven't been rejected, but it also means I am not necessarily accepted. Basically, all the people they LOVE have interviews scheduled, and all the people they don't love have gotten rejected. The in-between people linger on in "active review," a kind of purgatory for the average peons.
Right now I feel pretty comfortable with purgatory. Well, no, that is a lie. It is difficult to remain in limbo. Last night I cried myself to sleep.
Today I talked with my Biochem teacher about graduate school. He is on the board of admissions and I routinely score at the top 1% of the class; he likes me. Perhaps I will take the GRE and apply for the PhD program in biochemistry. If so, I need to do this asap.
The thing that made me cry last night is the thought that after this May, if I don't get into medical school, I will have a year+ of.. NOT LEARNING ANYTHING GOOD. I am gnawing at the bit for a deeper understanding of how bioloical systems work. I want to understand more the mechanism of drugs. I am yearning to get a better grasp on gene therapy. How do these things work? How can they be improved, how can I fix broken systems?
All this momentum, all this momentum, all this momentum, must not be wasted.
I fear that if I graduate without some educational goal in the VERY near future, I will spend my time working at Houstons and buying pretty handbags and shoes. While I like these things, they have an inability to give me the intense pleasure I garner from the acquisition of knowledge. And while I know that education does not start and stop in universities, I also fully appreciate the mentor role of my professors and appreciate their shove to learn more, better, deeper, faster than what I would do on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Please let me transform my energy to the next step.
My application for LSU is still under "active review." I am pretty sure this means I haven't been rejected, but it also means I am not necessarily accepted. Basically, all the people they LOVE have interviews scheduled, and all the people they don't love have gotten rejected. The in-between people linger on in "active review," a kind of purgatory for the average peons.
Right now I feel pretty comfortable with purgatory. Well, no, that is a lie. It is difficult to remain in limbo. Last night I cried myself to sleep.
Today I talked with my Biochem teacher about graduate school. He is on the board of admissions and I routinely score at the top 1% of the class; he likes me. Perhaps I will take the GRE and apply for the PhD program in biochemistry. If so, I need to do this asap.
The thing that made me cry last night is the thought that after this May, if I don't get into medical school, I will have a year+ of.. NOT LEARNING ANYTHING GOOD. I am gnawing at the bit for a deeper understanding of how bioloical systems work. I want to understand more the mechanism of drugs. I am yearning to get a better grasp on gene therapy. How do these things work? How can they be improved, how can I fix broken systems?
All this momentum, all this momentum, all this momentum, must not be wasted.
I fear that if I graduate without some educational goal in the VERY near future, I will spend my time working at Houstons and buying pretty handbags and shoes. While I like these things, they have an inability to give me the intense pleasure I garner from the acquisition of knowledge. And while I know that education does not start and stop in universities, I also fully appreciate the mentor role of my professors and appreciate their shove to learn more, better, deeper, faster than what I would do on a lazy Sunday afternoon.
Please let me transform my energy to the next step.