Barbies!!!!!
I was obsessed w/ Barbie when I was a kid, so I thought I'd post this. I'll post something real when I'm sot so exhausted from work!!!
N.W. Washington Barbies are FINALLY Available!!!!
Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a
Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She
has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a
stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percoset
prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry
internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing,
golfing, baseball and is often working late?. Available at all
Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.
Bellevue Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She
Comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW
Convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named "Honey".
Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available
with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.
Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
Granite Falls Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a shotgun,
switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, 8 kids with mullets and a meth lab kit.
This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with
cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know
what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken comes with 4 teeth and a "Redneck" tattoo
on his arm, he is also currently in jail. Available at a pawn shop near you.
Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a
Pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
chased Beer Gut Ken out of Monroe Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip
gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible
separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.
Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2
sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt
& a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six
pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a
distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk.
Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her
after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter. Comes with
Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.
Sultan Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller
And bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out PFD
form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available
at Value Village.
Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic &
tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no
make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need,
a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive
a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.
Olympia Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie
to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes
to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased out
and is only available from the manufacturer.
N.W. Washington Barbies are FINALLY Available!!!!
Seattle Barbie: This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a
Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She
has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a
stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percoset
prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry
internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing,
golfing, baseball and is often working late?. Available at all
Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.
Bellevue Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She
Comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW
Convertible or Hummer H2 and a longhaired foreign lapdog named "Honey".
Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available
with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation.
Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
Granite Falls Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a shotgun,
switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, 8 kids with mullets and a meth lab kit.
This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with
cash - preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know
what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken comes with 4 teeth and a "Redneck" tattoo
on his arm, he is also currently in jail. Available at a pawn shop near you.
Everett Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a
Pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she
chased Beer Gut Ken out of Monroe Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble
includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip
gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible
separately and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.
Monroe Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2
sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt
& a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six
pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a
distance of 6 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk.
Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her
after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter. Comes with
Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.
Sultan Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller
And bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled out PFD
form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available
at Value Village.
Vashon Island Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic &
tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no
make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need,
a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive
a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.
Olympia Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie
to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes
to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased out
and is only available from the manufacturer.