The same, but different

Apr 10, 2009 21:07

This is a bit of a rambling exploration of what their past could have been like, so sorry if it makes no sense or sounds like a children's story book

Once, when she was 7,  Emily had not spoken a word for 3 weeks. She just let Katie speak for her, it wasn't that she didn't have anything to say, more that once Katie got going nobody bothered listening to her sister.

Katie speaks, Emily speaks. Katie shouts, Emily gives up.

When a primary school teacher pointed out that Emily was painfully shy, and Katie verging on plain arrogant their doting mother was not phased. That was how she liked her girls, the same but different.

Perfect.

She showed them off to her friends in their matching outfits

'This is my Katie, she likes to dance, and this is emily, she likes to read. But they both like the spice girls', and her friends would coo at how two little things that looked so alike could possibly be different in any way.  Their mother loved the attention her daughters got, but always had control over how seperately they drifted. When Katie wanted their bedroom painted fluorescent pink and Emily deep purple, their mother intervined. Though there was space for a room each they would share. Share a colour. So the walls were painted a neutral colour but they were allowed different bed covers. The same, but different.

But over the years something changed, Emily slwoly began to realise that she wasn't the same as Katie, as her parents would have have let her believe, in fact now she could point out more differences than identify similarities.  When Katie got her first boyfriend, it was the first time they hadn't had one each of something. There was no clone of 'Baz' for Emily to fawn over, and frankly she was glad, he made her feel a bit sick. Not that she told Katie that...

Then, she realised that she would far rather be dancing with Baz's big sister at their primary school leavers disco than the boy himself.

In Emily's head it was that simple. She liked girls. She never felt the need to vocalise her desires, they were just there, accepted but never mentioned. Somehow, Katie had developed prejudices that had not touched her sister, and the younger girl could never be sure if these extended to sexuality. So she didn't bring it up.
Katie was protective of her little sister. She knew Emily was more intelligent than her, more determined, far more quietly sure than Katie could try to be. Perhaps some of it was a want to be the popular one, but more of it was that she loved Emily - Emily was hers. Emily was always there, she couldn't be 'crossed of her friends list' or 'not invited to her birthday party' because they belonged together, Fitch twins. Together. Anything that threatened that got flattened, pushed off her radar before it got near Ems. But sometimes, when Emily sat in their room, clearly lost in her own deep thoughts, she wasn't really sure she knew her sister at all.

And then someone came along, someone who changed the dynamic between the Fitches completely. She didn't mean to do, god, she hated interaction with people, hated stupid loved up emotions and pointless bitchiness, her young feelings on society quickly forming at that young age, but when she sat down in front of Emily in their form at middle school the redhead's heart was lost. As the twins sat down next to each other, identical pencil cases on their desks and Katie stood up to introduce them both, Emily felt herself go weak. As the blonde, like the others in the room, turned round to see the identical girls, Emily's eyes met a flash of brilliant blue and her breath caught. Naomi had looked at the two of them, as if trying to 'spot the difference' and immedietly disliked Katie, she was too bossy, controlling and she wasn't sure about the other one. Maybe they could be friends? Naomi didn't have friends, but she thought she could try it out...

And so, during that first term the twins began to become the two completely different people they would one day be recognised as. Their mother had lost a little of her control, they got the bus to school, she couldn't drive them, they went out at weekends, slept over with friends she didn't know and so their little brother became the focus of her attention. Emily and Naomi sat together at lunch, they didn't have anyone else and really got on quite well. Emily still stumbled over her words a little around the blonde, she wasn't used to this, someone talking to her, for her. Naomi mad her feel like one person, not half of a whole, it gave her confidence, and she, without knowing it gave naomi a kind of confidence in return. She enjoyed the company more than she had thought she would, she'd always thought having friends involved constant competitiveness, a new girl stealing your boyfriend or turning up in the same shoes, she hadn't bargained for the simple fun of laughing over silly things or having someone to pair up with in pe.

They went out together sometimes, the cinema or, rarely, shopping. They sat on the coach together on school trips. Emily began to find her feet, and it after while it felt natural her as confidence built. She knew her feelings towards Naomi weren't just normal friendly ones but there was no way she would risk ruining what they had. Yet.

Sometimes, she'd stare a little too long, make a remark and see if Naomi picked up anything. She never did, so Emily left her in her blissful ignorance and enjoyed her new found individuality.  Katie felt strange, she was losing her sister, but without Emily she could show off more, no chance of her exagerrated stories being picked up on, and maybe it was nice to see her baby siter laughing, even if she couldn't share the joke, see her with someone who clearly liked her other than her own twin. So she left her to it, the unspoken truth being that she didn't like Naomi, Naomi didn't like her, but both of them, already at that younger age, needed emily.

And so, for the whole of their first year, thats how they continued. The Fitches, still the same, but increasingly different and Naomi, suddenly finding herself with a friend of sorts.

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