Fic: Here Now
Title: Here Now
Rating: PG.
Characters/Pairing: Jack, Ianto. Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: It's set after Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but mentions the events of The Last of the Timelords. So yeah, spoilers for those.
Disclaimer: Don't own it blah blah.
Note: Written for Day Three at redismycolour. Many thanks to the lovely explodeyy for looking over this for me, and giving encouragement. Plus she is totally the JB to my GDL. I had a really hard time writing this, so I hope it isn't total fail.
Word Count: 466
Summary: Jack and Ianto share a moment together (their first proper one since Jack's return) and Jack is haunted by what happened during the year that never was.
Here Now
Later, when they were finally blissfully alone, Ianto curled his arm around Jack's head (entwining his fingers in the older man's hair) and pulled Jack into his arms. Jack was surprised but went easily - and as soon as he buried his face in the crook of Ianto's neck he realised just how deprived of physical contact he was. It was a shock, being this close to someone after so many months of living his worst nightmares. He wanted so badly to fold up the pain into a little origami swan and watch it flutter away, soft and oh so fragile. But the memories would be with him forever, he knew that. An iron cage for his little origami swan.
How was he supposed to act now? How was he going to be able to look at Cardiff again without his heart breaking at the memory of it slowly burning, dying in a flaming sea? The future may have been changed, but that didn't mean it hadn't happened. It was still there, as fresh upon his memory as the way Ianto had nervously accepted his offer of a date.
Ianto. Even now, in Ianto's arms, Jack couldn't forget. Couldn't forget the way Ianto had looked at him, the look in his eyes as the life slowly faded away, refusing to let the Master see any weakness. The familiar raw ache returned as Jack remembered how brave Ianto had been at the end. Fighting right to the end, that was Ianto. The others had fought so bravely too, despite their painfully obvious powerlessness in the shadow of something so much bigger than them.
The light flutter of Ianto's fingertips on the back of his neck gently pulled Jack back from the bitter memory. Back to Ianto and Cardiff (the twenty first century) where he belonged.
"Where were you?" Ianto asked softly. And Jack knew he didn't just mean the months he was gone (in Ianto's time), he knew Jack had gone somewhere else in those seconds. Ianto had sensed Jack drifting, but Jack didn't want Ianto to be touched by the things that haunted his own mind.
Jack pulled back a little bit, silently lamenting having to pull away so soon. It was strange. When Ianto had first touched him to pull him into the hug Jack had had to fight hard to keep his panic under control, but now he couldn't imagine a place he'd rather be in this universe. But then, he'd known this for a while, ever since he'd seen the betrayed look in Ianto's eyes as he died. He looked into Ianto's eyes now, concentrating on the life in them.
"It doesn't matter," Jack finally replied - saying the words like a prayer, soft and sure as if that made them truth. "I'm here now."
Rating: PG.
Characters/Pairing: Jack, Ianto. Jack/Ianto
Spoilers: It's set after Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, but mentions the events of The Last of the Timelords. So yeah, spoilers for those.
Disclaimer: Don't own it blah blah.
Note: Written for Day Three at redismycolour. Many thanks to the lovely explodeyy for looking over this for me, and giving encouragement. Plus she is totally the JB to my GDL. I had a really hard time writing this, so I hope it isn't total fail.
Word Count: 466
Summary: Jack and Ianto share a moment together (their first proper one since Jack's return) and Jack is haunted by what happened during the year that never was.
Here Now
Later, when they were finally blissfully alone, Ianto curled his arm around Jack's head (entwining his fingers in the older man's hair) and pulled Jack into his arms. Jack was surprised but went easily - and as soon as he buried his face in the crook of Ianto's neck he realised just how deprived of physical contact he was. It was a shock, being this close to someone after so many months of living his worst nightmares. He wanted so badly to fold up the pain into a little origami swan and watch it flutter away, soft and oh so fragile. But the memories would be with him forever, he knew that. An iron cage for his little origami swan.
How was he supposed to act now? How was he going to be able to look at Cardiff again without his heart breaking at the memory of it slowly burning, dying in a flaming sea? The future may have been changed, but that didn't mean it hadn't happened. It was still there, as fresh upon his memory as the way Ianto had nervously accepted his offer of a date.
Ianto. Even now, in Ianto's arms, Jack couldn't forget. Couldn't forget the way Ianto had looked at him, the look in his eyes as the life slowly faded away, refusing to let the Master see any weakness. The familiar raw ache returned as Jack remembered how brave Ianto had been at the end. Fighting right to the end, that was Ianto. The others had fought so bravely too, despite their painfully obvious powerlessness in the shadow of something so much bigger than them.
The light flutter of Ianto's fingertips on the back of his neck gently pulled Jack back from the bitter memory. Back to Ianto and Cardiff (the twenty first century) where he belonged.
"Where were you?" Ianto asked softly. And Jack knew he didn't just mean the months he was gone (in Ianto's time), he knew Jack had gone somewhere else in those seconds. Ianto had sensed Jack drifting, but Jack didn't want Ianto to be touched by the things that haunted his own mind.
Jack pulled back a little bit, silently lamenting having to pull away so soon. It was strange. When Ianto had first touched him to pull him into the hug Jack had had to fight hard to keep his panic under control, but now he couldn't imagine a place he'd rather be in this universe. But then, he'd known this for a while, ever since he'd seen the betrayed look in Ianto's eyes as he died. He looked into Ianto's eyes now, concentrating on the life in them.
"It doesn't matter," Jack finally replied - saying the words like a prayer, soft and sure as if that made them truth. "I'm here now."