What's up old pal?
Gosh I hate not writing for so long,I can't remember half the things that have happened.
Well,where to start? Ok,class ruckus.Seems like people have decided to take off their masks once and for all and stop pretending we love each other.As you know there're only 13 people in my class,and I only get along with 4 of them.The rest are bullshit and I just act friendly;not that they mean it when they smile at me,anyway.
I was absent on thursday and A (one of my friends) called me at night to tell me R had been taking her photos with a mobile phone and then she had uploaded one of the photos in Tuenti (like Facebook) to make fun of her new hairstyle.V is R's friend so she continued the bullying,even if a week before she was all lovely to A ¬¬
So on friday I went straight to them and said: "I see you've decided to stop pretending not being a pair of devilish whores.Alright,I don't mind,I've always despised you anyway so fuck off." And I was gonna leave everything like that...but I had so much anger accumulated against V...and I had have to see how she bashed MY CRUSH and had to be all polite to her...so I snapped and smashed her face on the table.And she had a nosebleed.Tee-hee~
And now I have to buy her a present because I got her name in our class' Secret Santa.Well,I 'm going to meet with A in half an hour to go buy the presents...so the two of us will decide the appropriate gift for that anorexic bitch HEHEHEHE
I'll continue later.
NEXT DAY
I ended up buying a super sized lollipop and a pair of earrings ¬¬ My pride would not let me be mischievous.Whatever,she liked them.And she's like,trying to talk to me in a friendly manner;I don't get what she's thinking.
But that's enough about unimportant people.
Real life Kanda keeps staring at me.I've never felt so STRANGE in my life.I mean,I've liked guys before(not much actually),but this is different.God I can hardly breathe if I know he's looking at me,and my body is all stiff.It feels like I'll faint but at the same time I'm bursting with energy,and I want to scream.It's so difficult trying to ignore it by turning my back to him and talking as much as I can,because I keep thinking about it and the fucking knot in my throat that doesn't let the air pass through doesn't let go.
I hope I don't have to talk about this with the therapist next time I see her;it's embarrassing enough just feeling it.Yep,I had a meeting with a psychiatrist at last;it got delayed twice.She talked to me for like 10 minutes and she's given me appointments for three months already;what the heck? Am I that twisted? The thing is,if I was suspicious of them (really,just think about it!The-rapist!!) now I know psychologists and the like are all sent by Satan himself.
SHE'S-NUTS.
The woman wouldn't stop nodding and making these irritating sounds of acknowledgment at the end of every fucking sentence I said,I think she uses crack to bear with all the "listening-to-ramblers" hours she spends at work,cos an epileptic person is clinically dead compared to her.
Then,when I was talking about how I haven't seen my father for 4 years and I don't know where he lives,she suddenly jerked her head up from the paper were she was judging writing notes about me and,not said but shrieked: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,GIRL? HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHERE HE LIVES?"
I'm sure I heard myself say duh.I just stared at her with my mouth open in mid-sentence and tried to proccess what was so unbelievable about my previous statements.You know,if your parents are divorced and daddy suddenly tells ya in a mid summer's night telephone call that he's currently getting on a ship to Africa,and you add to the mix that daddy is a big compulsive liar,it's quite difficult guessing his exact destination.Not that I told her that;what really happened was: "Eeeh...well we haven't talked in a long time so I'm not sure..." "DOES HE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?" WTF!? Weren't we talking about his home?? Oh well,me's confused to no end now: "Uh,yeah" "DO THEY LIVE TOGETHER?" "Hum,they do" "AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT,IF YOU DON'T TALK TO HIM AND DON'T KNOW HIS ACTUAL PLACE OF RESIDENCE?" Hey,did your crack supplies run out? "Well,I fucking know because before he left we would see each other and obviously the girlfriend would be there too" "OH,WHY ARE YOU SO HOSTILE?" BECAUSE YOUR EXISTENCE SHOULD BE TAXED.This woman is supposed to help me??? I'd rather have a chat with a plushie.
To finish;I'm half-proud half-ashamed to say I'm about to read my first non-LaviYuu yaoi manga;it's a quite famous title I think,Sensitive Pornograph...I hope I survive.Tomorrow (If I can) I'll post my review of the story as well as my opinion,let's see if I'm enchanted once and for all by the world of Boy Love.