Live Free or Die Hard, John/Matt - "Conduct."
today's theme on comment_fic was "domestic bliss," and I picked this prompt from kijikun: Die Hard 4, John/Matt, Lazy Sunday mornings. somehow, my idea of John and Matt's domesticity probably didn't really fit with today's theme. . .but oh well!
Conduct
"Okay, okay, okay, shh, shh," Matt said, arm snaking out from under the covers to snag his phone off the night stand. Before he had a chance to dial out, he reached around and smacked John on the side of the head.
"Ow, what the fuck was that for?" John asked, pulling away from Matt's neck, which he had been enthusiastically nibbling.
"You're supposed to be _sleeping_, remember?" Matt said. "If I'm going to sell this you need to stop molesting me and be quiet for like two seconds, if that's even possible."
"You think _I_ can't be quiet for two seconds? That's rich, coming from you."
"Not really proving me wrong at the moment," Matt pointed out.
"Fine, fine," John said, and rolled over on his back. "Make your call."
Matt cleared his throat a couple of times and hit speed-dial. "Hey, Luce," he said, trying to sound like he'd been awake for more than fifteen minutes. "Yeah, hi. Ummm, I don't think we're going to be able to make brunch today - yeah, you know. Yeah, eighteen hour shift again, he's kind of crashed out and I don't think he'll be up for a while. You know him, he's not as young as he seems to think - ow, _fuck_," he said, when John smacked _him_ on the back of the head. "No, shit, I, um, got a leg cramp," he said into the phone, glaring over his shoulder at John, who was half-smirking at him. "Anyway, we can totally do dinner, right? Tuesday night, someplace special and expensive to make it up to you? Yeah, sure, we can totally go to that vegan place you wanted to try."
"_Vegan_? I'm not fucking eating - " John's righteous indignation was muffled only by Matt's free hand clamping over his mouth.
"Yeah, I know, but we just won't tell him where we're going until after we get there. Yeah, okay. I'll tell him. Thanks, Lucy, see you Tuesday." Matt pipped off the phone and clattered it down on the bedside, and rolled over on top of John, shaking his head. "First, your daughter loves you, although I don't fucking know why right now, because you're kind of an asshole," he said. "And second, _could_ you have been a little more loud, just then? I'm pretty sure she knew I was lying to her."
"That's because you suck at lying, kid," John said. "And I am not fucking eating _vegan_. Unless eating _a_ vegan is an option on the menu." He slid his hand down Matt's back and tucked it just inside the waistband of his shorts. "You can call her again for me on Tuesday and tell her I'm sick."
"No, you can call her yourself and tell her why you're not showing up for her birthday dinner."
"Oh, shit - that's _this_ Tuesday?"
"Yessir," Matt nodded. "Happens on the same date every year. You'd think you'd remember it after all this time."
"That's what I have you for," John said. "You know what it's like for us old-timers - the memory's the first thing to go."
"I thought erectile function was the first thing to go."
"You have a problem with my erectile function?" John asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"I don't know, man, it's been like, two hours, right?" Matt said, shrugging. "You totally seem to be falling off your game."
"Fuck you," John said, shoving him over on his back on the bed and grinding his thigh against Matt's groin.
"Yes, please," Matt said, pushing himself up on his elbows. "Then you can make me breakfast."
"If I do, it's going to involve a lot of red meat."
"I'd pretty much assumed that every meal we eat between now and Tuesday night would involve a lot of red meat," Matt said. "With a side of bacon."
"Have I ever told you you have really good ideas sometimes, kid?" Before Matt could answer, John held up a hand. "But you talk way too fucking much."
"_I_ talk way too much? I wasn't the one who just - " Matt only stopped complaining when John licked one of his nipples, then bit down on his lower lip when he followed up that move with a line of wet kisses down Matt's stomach to his groin. "Fuuuuuck," he hissed, canting up his hips. "This does not mean you win this argument, you know."
"Actually," John grinned, looking up at him. "I think it does."
Conduct
"Okay, okay, okay, shh, shh," Matt said, arm snaking out from under the covers to snag his phone off the night stand. Before he had a chance to dial out, he reached around and smacked John on the side of the head.
"Ow, what the fuck was that for?" John asked, pulling away from Matt's neck, which he had been enthusiastically nibbling.
"You're supposed to be _sleeping_, remember?" Matt said. "If I'm going to sell this you need to stop molesting me and be quiet for like two seconds, if that's even possible."
"You think _I_ can't be quiet for two seconds? That's rich, coming from you."
"Not really proving me wrong at the moment," Matt pointed out.
"Fine, fine," John said, and rolled over on his back. "Make your call."
Matt cleared his throat a couple of times and hit speed-dial. "Hey, Luce," he said, trying to sound like he'd been awake for more than fifteen minutes. "Yeah, hi. Ummm, I don't think we're going to be able to make brunch today - yeah, you know. Yeah, eighteen hour shift again, he's kind of crashed out and I don't think he'll be up for a while. You know him, he's not as young as he seems to think - ow, _fuck_," he said, when John smacked _him_ on the back of the head. "No, shit, I, um, got a leg cramp," he said into the phone, glaring over his shoulder at John, who was half-smirking at him. "Anyway, we can totally do dinner, right? Tuesday night, someplace special and expensive to make it up to you? Yeah, sure, we can totally go to that vegan place you wanted to try."
"_Vegan_? I'm not fucking eating - " John's righteous indignation was muffled only by Matt's free hand clamping over his mouth.
"Yeah, I know, but we just won't tell him where we're going until after we get there. Yeah, okay. I'll tell him. Thanks, Lucy, see you Tuesday." Matt pipped off the phone and clattered it down on the bedside, and rolled over on top of John, shaking his head. "First, your daughter loves you, although I don't fucking know why right now, because you're kind of an asshole," he said. "And second, _could_ you have been a little more loud, just then? I'm pretty sure she knew I was lying to her."
"That's because you suck at lying, kid," John said. "And I am not fucking eating _vegan_. Unless eating _a_ vegan is an option on the menu." He slid his hand down Matt's back and tucked it just inside the waistband of his shorts. "You can call her again for me on Tuesday and tell her I'm sick."
"No, you can call her yourself and tell her why you're not showing up for her birthday dinner."
"Oh, shit - that's _this_ Tuesday?"
"Yessir," Matt nodded. "Happens on the same date every year. You'd think you'd remember it after all this time."
"That's what I have you for," John said. "You know what it's like for us old-timers - the memory's the first thing to go."
"I thought erectile function was the first thing to go."
"You have a problem with my erectile function?" John asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"I don't know, man, it's been like, two hours, right?" Matt said, shrugging. "You totally seem to be falling off your game."
"Fuck you," John said, shoving him over on his back on the bed and grinding his thigh against Matt's groin.
"Yes, please," Matt said, pushing himself up on his elbows. "Then you can make me breakfast."
"If I do, it's going to involve a lot of red meat."
"I'd pretty much assumed that every meal we eat between now and Tuesday night would involve a lot of red meat," Matt said. "With a side of bacon."
"Have I ever told you you have really good ideas sometimes, kid?" Before Matt could answer, John held up a hand. "But you talk way too fucking much."
"_I_ talk way too much? I wasn't the one who just - " Matt only stopped complaining when John licked one of his nipples, then bit down on his lower lip when he followed up that move with a line of wet kisses down Matt's stomach to his groin. "Fuuuuuck," he hissed, canting up his hips. "This does not mean you win this argument, you know."
"Actually," John grinned, looking up at him. "I think it does."