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Oct 27, 2006 15:36

Sometimes I'm just really sad and get myself all depressed and pathetic.
Like now.
I really don't want Halloween.  I just don't.  I'm going to be way too cold to function, but there's no way I can get out of it.  If I even suggest not doing it, Brett will get all mad because he's so psyched about it.  The forecast for Halloween:  low of 39 and high of 51.  Spandex in the fourties.  Boo.  And I don't really want to devote every minute of my free time to this right now.  I'm having a hard enough time without adding this massive project that I've been putting off.  Seeing as how I'm the one that cleans the cat's litter box.  I'm the one the does the casual picking up around the apartment.  I'm the one that has to do the dishes if I want ALL of the dishes done.  I'm the one that has to do the laundry (this is the one chore he honestly can't do because it involves too much stair action.)  I don't mind doing this stuff, but it really sucks to do this stuff when I'm the only one doing ANYTHING.  I know he can't work, but it doesn't change the fact that there's an unfair balance in my head.  If I weren't working, I'd do all of the cleaning.  I wouldn't let him do anything at home.  And that's what makes this whole costuming thing really hard.  How can I do something so frivolous when necessary chores still need to be done?
Just because he has tons of free time and energy doesn't mean I do.  I just want to fucking sleep; let me fucking sleep.
There are lots of things that I want and can't have.
Well.
I guess I should go home and measure myself for a costume I don't want to wear on a day I don't want to exist.  There's nothing like being the only one who can do something.
Oh.  And I've never said it before, but, Zoe, a major motivation for not wanting to talk on the phone is the fact that I can always be heard while talking on the phone.  I've never liked talking in front of people, and there's no way I can get away from Brett.  I just don't like the feeling of somebody listening in.
I should go home.
I hate the bus.
It involves walking.  And I'm really tired.
(I keep adding things to the entry and clients keep coming in needing to pay...so I keep taking payments and working even though I'm off the clock.)
I've decided that a part of my soul is tied to Metro Dog.  Metro Dog is a Horcrux of mine, and it is sad.  I'm in charge of orders now.  I just made my first order today...it's not that exciting.  But I did order a free sample of kitty treats!  And I'm going to start ordering my cat's food and litter through this company because it's WAY cheaper than at the pet store.  
I'm totally putting off going home, aren't I?
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