I EXIST!
What's Penina's phone number? Anybody? Please.
Sorry I've been so absent...it's just...a lot. I've been wrapped up in a lot of my own crap and haven't had internet access. So that means I didn't know when Zoe got her new phone. I didn't really know where Kat was. I didn't know where Erica was. I had no idea what Sarah was up to. Etcetera, etcetera. And making phone calls when all I want to do is sleep never works well for me.
I've been working, not getting any sleep, and worrying about a number of things. Like:
The fact that my scholarships/loans for school don't exist right now and fall quarter is going to cost me 8,000 dollars if it doesn't all get straightened out which I can't do because it involves only my mom's information that I don't have, know, or understand. It's in her hands now. Which makes me feel a little better because I kind of prefer not being in charge of my own destiny. (Which makes life kind of suck in general because I know I am, ultimately.) So yeah...fixed FAFSA or no school because there's no way I can work out owing that much money. And if I don't get to go to school even though I desperately want to while so many people who don't want to go do, I'll cry and scream and know that the universe is officially against me.
My kitten being sick. We bought a sick kitten from the pound. He just has a cold, but for a week he didn't eat. At all. We had to force water into him everyday just to keep him from dying. So after paying eighty-something dollars to get him, we paid ninety-something dollars on a vet visit so they could prod, poke, and pilfer [us as much as possible]. Our little Logan is a two hundred dollar kitten who finally figured out yesterday that food is good. He eats a lot now. But he still has sniffles. AND he still needs vaccinations that we haven't paid for yet. Luckily, we have paid for the fixing that he hasn't been able to get yet.
And, finally, getting married because it's such a ridiculous situation and I don't really know how to do it. Obviously, we'll figure it out, but I'm still worried about having to shell out fifty dollars for it. Then having to pay for the nice dinner out that we're demanding for ourselves afterwards. Plus the clothes I have to buy to get married in because I have nothing even remotely nice. I guess everything revolves around money. And I'm so not materialistic. And...I'm worried about family reaction. I know they'll complain about how young we are, but my mom has already called Brett her son-in-law. They can't take it too badly, can they? One of my coworkers is twenty-five or so and has been married for two years and has a quite similar build up to her marriage. So we talk and get along and I like her a lot. And we can be friends because neither of us really go out and do anything...we just stay at home with our men and be boring. But I like it so shut up.
So that's everything that has been on my mind. I've been exhausting myself everyday having to work then come home to do dishes and cook dinner-- a big dinner because Brett's stomach is a bottomless pit. There has to be after dinner food of some sort too. Then I wake up at like five or six, depending on my shift, and do it all over again. I haven't actually gotten any sleep in a few days because I just toss and turn all night.
And Logan likes Brett way more than me, and it makes me sad. It's okay. I can drink that sadness away in eleven days or so.
Sorry I've been so absent...it's just...a lot. I've been wrapped up in a lot of my own crap and haven't had internet access. So that means I didn't know when Zoe got her new phone. I didn't really know where Kat was. I didn't know where Erica was. I had no idea what Sarah was up to. Etcetera, etcetera. And making phone calls when all I want to do is sleep never works well for me.
I've been working, not getting any sleep, and worrying about a number of things. Like:
The fact that my scholarships/loans for school don't exist right now and fall quarter is going to cost me 8,000 dollars if it doesn't all get straightened out which I can't do because it involves only my mom's information that I don't have, know, or understand. It's in her hands now. Which makes me feel a little better because I kind of prefer not being in charge of my own destiny. (Which makes life kind of suck in general because I know I am, ultimately.) So yeah...fixed FAFSA or no school because there's no way I can work out owing that much money. And if I don't get to go to school even though I desperately want to while so many people who don't want to go do, I'll cry and scream and know that the universe is officially against me.
My kitten being sick. We bought a sick kitten from the pound. He just has a cold, but for a week he didn't eat. At all. We had to force water into him everyday just to keep him from dying. So after paying eighty-something dollars to get him, we paid ninety-something dollars on a vet visit so they could prod, poke, and pilfer [us as much as possible]. Our little Logan is a two hundred dollar kitten who finally figured out yesterday that food is good. He eats a lot now. But he still has sniffles. AND he still needs vaccinations that we haven't paid for yet. Luckily, we have paid for the fixing that he hasn't been able to get yet.
And, finally, getting married because it's such a ridiculous situation and I don't really know how to do it. Obviously, we'll figure it out, but I'm still worried about having to shell out fifty dollars for it. Then having to pay for the nice dinner out that we're demanding for ourselves afterwards. Plus the clothes I have to buy to get married in because I have nothing even remotely nice. I guess everything revolves around money. And I'm so not materialistic. And...I'm worried about family reaction. I know they'll complain about how young we are, but my mom has already called Brett her son-in-law. They can't take it too badly, can they? One of my coworkers is twenty-five or so and has been married for two years and has a quite similar build up to her marriage. So we talk and get along and I like her a lot. And we can be friends because neither of us really go out and do anything...we just stay at home with our men and be boring. But I like it so shut up.
So that's everything that has been on my mind. I've been exhausting myself everyday having to work then come home to do dishes and cook dinner-- a big dinner because Brett's stomach is a bottomless pit. There has to be after dinner food of some sort too. Then I wake up at like five or six, depending on my shift, and do it all over again. I haven't actually gotten any sleep in a few days because I just toss and turn all night.
And Logan likes Brett way more than me, and it makes me sad. It's okay. I can drink that sadness away in eleven days or so.