Deaths & Violence For My Dream Aspects
I do not know what is with my mind lately, but for a couple of weeks now I've been having constant dreams when I sleep-- and they're almost all violent, and often an aspect dies horribly at the very end.
For example, 2 nights ago I was in a house with a bunch of aspects, and things seemed normal (or to be rolling along like most dreams do) when all of a sudden, the very atmosphere shifted into one of menace. One aspect was leaning through a set of glass doors in a cabinet trying to find something. Then, suddenly, while I and another character watched, the glass doors slammed shut and promptly and graphicallly decapitated her, blood founting into the cabinet and then pooling and spreading upon the floor! I ran around to her and cried out in alarm, and then turned away because I couldn't bear to look anymore.
There seemed to be a threat against all of us-- and everyone was suddenly in a rush to leave. The doors decapitating that woman were seen as a sign that the house itself was haunted with a demonic threat of some sort. The floors began oozing a strange oil, and I was told that they were now pressurized land mines and once we stepped on one-- if we stepped OFF, it would explode. I was scared for a few seconds, but then I stepped off my floor tile because I didn't believe anyone completely on this score. And anyway decided I would prefer to die quickly rather than be trapped in an evil house. And the tile I stepped off of started swelling and popping up slowly. Everyone freaked out. I shook my head and left, and then when I was outside I called back to everyone else to come out. "The tiles are NOT land mines! Nothing is going to explode. But get OUT of there! Now!" and they started filing out, all trembling. Then I awoke.
Then last night I had one of the worst yet.
I was upstairs in a high rise apartment, enjoying a book launch party of mine or something. We had drinks and tidbits to eat. Suddenly, a rather large (not fat-- but tall and robust), pushy, overly tan and made up young woman came barging in. Apparently, she was a fan of mine or something? She seemed to be a little unbalanced, but I hoped she was harmless. She kept getting closer and closer to me, and I kept backing away and asking her what she wanted. I finally sat down and had her sit down facing me. I once again ask her what she wanted of me. She replied, "I want you to write 100 columns." I assumed she meant for the newspaper? But about what? People were talking around us and it was too distracting, so I asked her to follow me out onto the the balcony outside to talk more about it.
She did, and I opened the sliding glass door to let her out first, then turned around to slide it closed behind me. But then I heard thumps of someone running, and I turned to look and the woman was launching herself off the balcony! We were WAY up, like 20 stories or so, so I was horrified. Worse yet, when she leapt, both feet got caught in the top of the railing and broke both her legs with a loud "CRONK-RACK!" percussive sound that was just awful to hear, and then her lower legs and feet flopped brokenly after her top half as she went over the railing and fell to her death below. I turned away and started freaking out! I kept repeating, "No no no no no no no nononononono...!" to myself. The guests inside the posh apartment cried out and came to the glass door and went out to see what happened. I felt completely traumatized. Then I awoke, still feeling disturbed enough that I couldn't get back to sleep for a while.
Great, huh? I'm into these dreams so deeply when they happen that I don't know they're dreams. They end before I can turn lucid and investigate things around me or ask good questions of my various aspect characters. Which isn't normal for me. Nor is spending so much of my sleep time in REM stage sleep. The nightmares are so odd and graphic that I've been waking up several times a night and then staying up because I dread sleeping again. Its been a long while since I've had a spate of nightmares like this--years. And I have NO idea what is spurring them on. What am I so bothered about under the surface? Aspects being murdered and committing suicide night after night. Its crazy.
Even little 'dreamlets' of short duration are disturbing. Like walking into a room of white candles in brass holders. Every time I come near one, the flame fizzles out. Then at the end a large candle falls over and makes a squealing popping sound so loud I awoke very startled. More ominous symbols of death. What the farking HELL is going on?
Its getting so I dread going to bed every night. Its just ridiculous!
Between these and my impromptu visionary experience last night in the Golden Library (see yesterday's entry here--> http://lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/830803.html ) my nights are entirely TOO eventful!
For example, 2 nights ago I was in a house with a bunch of aspects, and things seemed normal (or to be rolling along like most dreams do) when all of a sudden, the very atmosphere shifted into one of menace. One aspect was leaning through a set of glass doors in a cabinet trying to find something. Then, suddenly, while I and another character watched, the glass doors slammed shut and promptly and graphicallly decapitated her, blood founting into the cabinet and then pooling and spreading upon the floor! I ran around to her and cried out in alarm, and then turned away because I couldn't bear to look anymore.
There seemed to be a threat against all of us-- and everyone was suddenly in a rush to leave. The doors decapitating that woman were seen as a sign that the house itself was haunted with a demonic threat of some sort. The floors began oozing a strange oil, and I was told that they were now pressurized land mines and once we stepped on one-- if we stepped OFF, it would explode. I was scared for a few seconds, but then I stepped off my floor tile because I didn't believe anyone completely on this score. And anyway decided I would prefer to die quickly rather than be trapped in an evil house. And the tile I stepped off of started swelling and popping up slowly. Everyone freaked out. I shook my head and left, and then when I was outside I called back to everyone else to come out. "The tiles are NOT land mines! Nothing is going to explode. But get OUT of there! Now!" and they started filing out, all trembling. Then I awoke.
Then last night I had one of the worst yet.
I was upstairs in a high rise apartment, enjoying a book launch party of mine or something. We had drinks and tidbits to eat. Suddenly, a rather large (not fat-- but tall and robust), pushy, overly tan and made up young woman came barging in. Apparently, she was a fan of mine or something? She seemed to be a little unbalanced, but I hoped she was harmless. She kept getting closer and closer to me, and I kept backing away and asking her what she wanted. I finally sat down and had her sit down facing me. I once again ask her what she wanted of me. She replied, "I want you to write 100 columns." I assumed she meant for the newspaper? But about what? People were talking around us and it was too distracting, so I asked her to follow me out onto the the balcony outside to talk more about it.
She did, and I opened the sliding glass door to let her out first, then turned around to slide it closed behind me. But then I heard thumps of someone running, and I turned to look and the woman was launching herself off the balcony! We were WAY up, like 20 stories or so, so I was horrified. Worse yet, when she leapt, both feet got caught in the top of the railing and broke both her legs with a loud "CRONK-RACK!" percussive sound that was just awful to hear, and then her lower legs and feet flopped brokenly after her top half as she went over the railing and fell to her death below. I turned away and started freaking out! I kept repeating, "No no no no no no no nononononono...!" to myself. The guests inside the posh apartment cried out and came to the glass door and went out to see what happened. I felt completely traumatized. Then I awoke, still feeling disturbed enough that I couldn't get back to sleep for a while.
Great, huh? I'm into these dreams so deeply when they happen that I don't know they're dreams. They end before I can turn lucid and investigate things around me or ask good questions of my various aspect characters. Which isn't normal for me. Nor is spending so much of my sleep time in REM stage sleep. The nightmares are so odd and graphic that I've been waking up several times a night and then staying up because I dread sleeping again. Its been a long while since I've had a spate of nightmares like this--years. And I have NO idea what is spurring them on. What am I so bothered about under the surface? Aspects being murdered and committing suicide night after night. Its crazy.
Even little 'dreamlets' of short duration are disturbing. Like walking into a room of white candles in brass holders. Every time I come near one, the flame fizzles out. Then at the end a large candle falls over and makes a squealing popping sound so loud I awoke very startled. More ominous symbols of death. What the farking HELL is going on?
Its getting so I dread going to bed every night. Its just ridiculous!
Between these and my impromptu visionary experience last night in the Golden Library (see yesterday's entry here--> http://lucretiasheart.livejournal.com/830803.html ) my nights are entirely TOO eventful!