Meetings About "Big Scary Stuff"
To prove I meant it, I asked Cat if she wanted to do the Scary Stuff monthly meeting this weekend-- and she did!
So we got together, and I had a tablet and pen, and we listed reasons to stay and go, and then just listed all the things that we both want to do with the house and land. Just LISTING so that Cat doesn't need to keep doing it verbally on repeat and then get overwhelmed and dispirited.
I told her I'd get that typeed up and we could add or change it month to month as we go along.
Right now, we know what is right in front of us that needs done, and that's a septic suck out. She called for it and they're coming Wednesday. Mike and Cat dug out and exposed the buried septic access points-- and she wants them to be topped off by caps rather than buried, but we'll see what the cost is first. For now, she can afford the suck out procedure, and that's next on The List.
Meanwhile, I finally managed to lock down rides to and from the Portland area so I can see my sister and have a conference with my aunt Dora and Erica's case manager, "Joan". Hopefully, I can help Erica get some free services that my mother is blocking because she doesn't want strangers around her hoard (they might steal some of her trash after all, right?) And arrangements can be made so that I'm Erica's payee instead of my mother and Dora. That would take one responsibility off Dora's plate, and maybe she's ready for that, but if she's NOT, I don't want to fight with her! I'm hoping we can figure this all out peacefully.
And we have to discuss Erica being so easily conned by phone scammers! That's a scary thought, but my sister IS very stupid (it's more PC to say "intellectually disabled") and easily tricked. Dora is worried that Erica can get scammed online as well and so doesn't want Erica to have wireless access at home, but Erica is online once or twice or more a week, plus she has a phone that she uses constantly for online stuff like games. I don't think being tricked via email is as much an issue, because Erica always asks about weird emails before she answers them. It's getting immediate phone calls with another voice, especially a commandeering and angry male voice, that she can't handle. She won't just hang up, she'll give up everything she knows, so that's why we don't want her to have complete control over her own money, unfortunately. I want her to learn to handle money as much as possible, so this won't be easy to figure out, but I need to have support for my sister about all of these things. Hence, the meeting with everyone together.
Anyway, I'll be in Portland this coming week at long last to work on the next steps! I'm so grateful I have so much help in getting this done!
So we got together, and I had a tablet and pen, and we listed reasons to stay and go, and then just listed all the things that we both want to do with the house and land. Just LISTING so that Cat doesn't need to keep doing it verbally on repeat and then get overwhelmed and dispirited.
I told her I'd get that typeed up and we could add or change it month to month as we go along.
Right now, we know what is right in front of us that needs done, and that's a septic suck out. She called for it and they're coming Wednesday. Mike and Cat dug out and exposed the buried septic access points-- and she wants them to be topped off by caps rather than buried, but we'll see what the cost is first. For now, she can afford the suck out procedure, and that's next on The List.
Meanwhile, I finally managed to lock down rides to and from the Portland area so I can see my sister and have a conference with my aunt Dora and Erica's case manager, "Joan". Hopefully, I can help Erica get some free services that my mother is blocking because she doesn't want strangers around her hoard (they might steal some of her trash after all, right?) And arrangements can be made so that I'm Erica's payee instead of my mother and Dora. That would take one responsibility off Dora's plate, and maybe she's ready for that, but if she's NOT, I don't want to fight with her! I'm hoping we can figure this all out peacefully.
And we have to discuss Erica being so easily conned by phone scammers! That's a scary thought, but my sister IS very stupid (it's more PC to say "intellectually disabled") and easily tricked. Dora is worried that Erica can get scammed online as well and so doesn't want Erica to have wireless access at home, but Erica is online once or twice or more a week, plus she has a phone that she uses constantly for online stuff like games. I don't think being tricked via email is as much an issue, because Erica always asks about weird emails before she answers them. It's getting immediate phone calls with another voice, especially a commandeering and angry male voice, that she can't handle. She won't just hang up, she'll give up everything she knows, so that's why we don't want her to have complete control over her own money, unfortunately. I want her to learn to handle money as much as possible, so this won't be easy to figure out, but I need to have support for my sister about all of these things. Hence, the meeting with everyone together.
Anyway, I'll be in Portland this coming week at long last to work on the next steps! I'm so grateful I have so much help in getting this done!