Birthday Dinner w/ Hillary
It's a busy social time this week!
After yesterday's Medieval Faire, today Cat and I had a birthday dinner with Hillary and her family. We spend every Christmas with them (ironically enough, given that they come from Jewish and Shinto families and Cat and I are pagan!) but the pandemic boffed that until last year. It was nice to see Hilary's mom and dad again, and Hilly's adorable baby girl, who is now 3 years old!
I always feel a little nervous at first when we stop by, because Hilly's parents always have at least 2 large, protective, German Shepherds who bark very loudly. I seem to have overcome my weird negative dog karma, but I'm still nervous around dogs until things are settled and I know they're not targeting me to munch on. It was a relief when their newest female dog finally decided I wasn't worth much attention anymore.
Hillary and her dad were busy cooking together as a Father's Day/Birthday thing because they almost never do anymore. On the menu-- a LOT of fish! Salmon and orange slices and salmon and blackberries along with raw oysters and cooked mussels. (I avoided the oysters. Gross.) I've never had fish flavored with fruit before, but the dinner was actually quite tasty and quite the revelation because it sounds disgusting. Honestly, the only thing I couldn't stomach was the veggies they cooked with the mussels-- it didn't work for my palate, but otherwise a very satisfying meal. Especially since I'm very picky when it comes to seafood.
It was nice seeing everyone again, except for one woman who is Hilly's mom's best friend. I've been around her a little several times for Xmas dinners, but never got a great feel for her. She always seemed standoffish, but it could have been shyness. Certainly, Doug's mom is super quiet, but she's just extremely shy, and really super sweet once she feels safe opening up. But not this other lady. This time I definitely caught her saying very judgmental things, and I realized that back in the day she was one of those mean girls who ran around in packs and said horrible things behind her hand, superiority glinting in her adolescent eyes.
Hillary herself has been battling depression since she had her baby. She's a Type 4 and the disappearing of her individual identity beneath the role of motherhood has been hard for her. She's trying to get out from under being on Zoloft for 3 years, but I don't know if that's wise. She looks... wan, worn, weary, and wiped. Still, not my call, right?
I really like Hilly, and I ache for her challenges. I hope things get better in the fall, when her daughter starts pre-school for a few hours a day. That should bring some relief. My friend is still an amazing mom, though, and adores her child, plays with her, cuddles her, and seems to understand very well how to navigate the 3-year old's perspective. Her kid, Maeve, in turn, is pretty well-behaved, if perhaps a tiny bit spoiled being the darling of 3 grandparents and her parents! She doesn't throw tantrums or anything like that, she's just not as mature as some kids her age are-- but then, her parents aren't pressuring her too much. Doug is on the spectrum, but a very sincere guy who feels a little less awkward as a dad these days, but I'm betting it's part of why Hilly feels regularly overwhelmed-- Doug is not in his element with children. He tries like crazy, but it's just not easy for him.
Spending a "family day" with someone else's family is a mixed thing for me. A part of me feels melancholy that I don't have my own more typical family with kids and all of that. Another part of me feels very grateful I don't have to deal with the constant compromises that must be made to keep a family going, especially as a woman. I make compromises all the time due to my illness as it is! Maybe my life is more of a blessing than I realize at times.
After yesterday's Medieval Faire, today Cat and I had a birthday dinner with Hillary and her family. We spend every Christmas with them (ironically enough, given that they come from Jewish and Shinto families and Cat and I are pagan!) but the pandemic boffed that until last year. It was nice to see Hilary's mom and dad again, and Hilly's adorable baby girl, who is now 3 years old!
I always feel a little nervous at first when we stop by, because Hilly's parents always have at least 2 large, protective, German Shepherds who bark very loudly. I seem to have overcome my weird negative dog karma, but I'm still nervous around dogs until things are settled and I know they're not targeting me to munch on. It was a relief when their newest female dog finally decided I wasn't worth much attention anymore.
Hillary and her dad were busy cooking together as a Father's Day/Birthday thing because they almost never do anymore. On the menu-- a LOT of fish! Salmon and orange slices and salmon and blackberries along with raw oysters and cooked mussels. (I avoided the oysters. Gross.) I've never had fish flavored with fruit before, but the dinner was actually quite tasty and quite the revelation because it sounds disgusting. Honestly, the only thing I couldn't stomach was the veggies they cooked with the mussels-- it didn't work for my palate, but otherwise a very satisfying meal. Especially since I'm very picky when it comes to seafood.
It was nice seeing everyone again, except for one woman who is Hilly's mom's best friend. I've been around her a little several times for Xmas dinners, but never got a great feel for her. She always seemed standoffish, but it could have been shyness. Certainly, Doug's mom is super quiet, but she's just extremely shy, and really super sweet once she feels safe opening up. But not this other lady. This time I definitely caught her saying very judgmental things, and I realized that back in the day she was one of those mean girls who ran around in packs and said horrible things behind her hand, superiority glinting in her adolescent eyes.
Hillary herself has been battling depression since she had her baby. She's a Type 4 and the disappearing of her individual identity beneath the role of motherhood has been hard for her. She's trying to get out from under being on Zoloft for 3 years, but I don't know if that's wise. She looks... wan, worn, weary, and wiped. Still, not my call, right?
I really like Hilly, and I ache for her challenges. I hope things get better in the fall, when her daughter starts pre-school for a few hours a day. That should bring some relief. My friend is still an amazing mom, though, and adores her child, plays with her, cuddles her, and seems to understand very well how to navigate the 3-year old's perspective. Her kid, Maeve, in turn, is pretty well-behaved, if perhaps a tiny bit spoiled being the darling of 3 grandparents and her parents! She doesn't throw tantrums or anything like that, she's just not as mature as some kids her age are-- but then, her parents aren't pressuring her too much. Doug is on the spectrum, but a very sincere guy who feels a little less awkward as a dad these days, but I'm betting it's part of why Hilly feels regularly overwhelmed-- Doug is not in his element with children. He tries like crazy, but it's just not easy for him.
Spending a "family day" with someone else's family is a mixed thing for me. A part of me feels melancholy that I don't have my own more typical family with kids and all of that. Another part of me feels very grateful I don't have to deal with the constant compromises that must be made to keep a family going, especially as a woman. I make compromises all the time due to my illness as it is! Maybe my life is more of a blessing than I realize at times.