Attacked By Our Rooster Hey Hey
We have several roosters. Most are silkies or silkie-cream legbar mixes. We only have ONE cream legbar rooster, named "Hey Hey" after the stupid rooster in Moana. Anyways, we can only have one cream legbar rooster because they are SO aggressive towards each other that they maim and kill one another if there is more than one.
Cat picked Hey Hey because of his straight comb. He was more aggressive than the other ones, but she picked him anyway. Big fucking mistake!
After our last rooster culling, Hey Hey came at me a few times like he thought I was a rooster. I yelled, kicked at him, and took a broom in with me to feed chickens for a few days until he learned to back the fuck off. And he did, and months passed and all was well.
Until today...
I was a little late with their feed, but only by a couple of hours, and Hey Hey attacked me in the mornings before, too-- so that wasn't it. This time when he came at me, though, he really flew at me, flying UP towards my face and chest, which was a new and disturbing element. It was bad enough when he attacked my legs, but THAT?
I screamed and kicked and couldn't get out of the pen because Cat insists we have little link pin carbinder things even though the gates are secure from wind and shaking. But I rolled my eyes and went with it because whatever. But now? I'm taking those things off and I will keep taking them off because I need to be able to get in and out quicker than that.
Because I was trapped with no weapons, I backed up to the smaller coop behind me and grabbed an iron fence post that we use to hold down the lightweight plastic roof on the smaller coop. I grabbed and swung it at the roosters and screamed at the mother fucker. I got SO FUCKING ANGRY!
You know the fight, flight, or freeze thing? Well, I got into fucking FIGHT mode! I was infuriated. Still am as I write this, which makes me shake and miss the right letters and I'm screwing up and editing a lot as I go... I managed to get the carbinder or whatever off the gate nearest to me while holding the fucker off and escaped, run-stomping to the house.
Cat was home so she heard me scream, "I WANT THAT FUCKING ROOSTER HEY HEY KILLED!!"
She came down and I told her what happened, but I was so full of rage that I was shaking and freaking scary sounding! She went outside and I followed to take the carbinders off all the gates, and I told her I was leaving them off because they fucking TRAPPED me in the chicken pen and I wasn't going to allow myself to be in danger like that. Then I grabbed a broom off the front porch and came back into the pen where Cat was watching Hey Hey (who was acting normal now of course) and went at him with the broom.
Then I faced Cat and said menacingly, "If that motherfucker comes at me ONE MORE TIME I will beat him to death with this broom and then throw his carcass out for the coyotes to eat!"
Cat replied quietly, "That's fair." Which was weird to hear her say because she fucking loves that son of a bitch rooster. But I meant it, and she could tell.
I stomped back into the house and just hyper-ventilated and HATED that stupid bird with all my being for a few minutes. I knew I was off my rocker, but I didn't give a shit. When Cat came in later, I told her, "I'll smoke something and calm down." Because I'm not really mad at her, I'm mad at that fucking bird, but I knew she was the one feeling it.
The thing is, though, I really do want him to get culled. Cat wants to keep this pure line of cream legbars heirloom breed chickens, but they are NOTHING SPECIAL at all. Not like silkies or several other kinds of heirloom breeds. They are plain brown and white and buff (or a little yellowy-orange) and shaped like plain ordinary chickens. Blah. Who the fuck cares? The suburban farm store that sold it that she loved is going out of business and so much for that legacy!
I'm thinking about waiting until Cat goes back to work to shoo him OUT of the pen, maybe chasing him into the woods or something. Or, when putting the chickens in at night, shooing him out and all the rest in so he'll be taken. I fucking hate that fucker now.
I will always be a meat eater, but right now I am hating on chickens as precious beings so much it isn't funny. Like I want to learn how to cut their throats to bleed them out to eat them. Especially Hey Hey. I think I would not feel bad killing an animal for once in my life.
You know what...? I think I AM mad at Cat! She keeps making these dumb decisions that make shit harder for me, like keeping a chicken breed that has very aggressive roosters, or not killing Hey Hey after the first few times he came after me, or putting carbinders on the gates that require a specific grip and time to maneuver open. All silly decisions that are not based on objective understanding, but rather on odd ideas of her own very biased nature. And I put up with it because... you know... whatever. But all of those cute little personal decisions added up meant I was put in danger from a stupid fucking BIRD! And I resent the fuck out of her for that shit! How fucking STUPID!!!
Well, fuck her and really fuck that rooster. I'm going to advocate his culling and I'll be doing what I can to get him killed until he is. And if he comes after me again, I will beat the SHIT out of him!!! I'll let my temper go to town and destroy that fucking fowl beast!! I'm tired of rating lower than everyone in the world, even a fucking god-damned rooster and I'll fight the mother fucker back. Cat can just hate me if she wants to. I don't care, I want Hey Hey DEAD.
Cat picked Hey Hey because of his straight comb. He was more aggressive than the other ones, but she picked him anyway. Big fucking mistake!
After our last rooster culling, Hey Hey came at me a few times like he thought I was a rooster. I yelled, kicked at him, and took a broom in with me to feed chickens for a few days until he learned to back the fuck off. And he did, and months passed and all was well.
Until today...
I was a little late with their feed, but only by a couple of hours, and Hey Hey attacked me in the mornings before, too-- so that wasn't it. This time when he came at me, though, he really flew at me, flying UP towards my face and chest, which was a new and disturbing element. It was bad enough when he attacked my legs, but THAT?
I screamed and kicked and couldn't get out of the pen because Cat insists we have little link pin carbinder things even though the gates are secure from wind and shaking. But I rolled my eyes and went with it because whatever. But now? I'm taking those things off and I will keep taking them off because I need to be able to get in and out quicker than that.
Because I was trapped with no weapons, I backed up to the smaller coop behind me and grabbed an iron fence post that we use to hold down the lightweight plastic roof on the smaller coop. I grabbed and swung it at the roosters and screamed at the mother fucker. I got SO FUCKING ANGRY!
You know the fight, flight, or freeze thing? Well, I got into fucking FIGHT mode! I was infuriated. Still am as I write this, which makes me shake and miss the right letters and I'm screwing up and editing a lot as I go... I managed to get the carbinder or whatever off the gate nearest to me while holding the fucker off and escaped, run-stomping to the house.
Cat was home so she heard me scream, "I WANT THAT FUCKING ROOSTER HEY HEY KILLED!!"
She came down and I told her what happened, but I was so full of rage that I was shaking and freaking scary sounding! She went outside and I followed to take the carbinders off all the gates, and I told her I was leaving them off because they fucking TRAPPED me in the chicken pen and I wasn't going to allow myself to be in danger like that. Then I grabbed a broom off the front porch and came back into the pen where Cat was watching Hey Hey (who was acting normal now of course) and went at him with the broom.
Then I faced Cat and said menacingly, "If that motherfucker comes at me ONE MORE TIME I will beat him to death with this broom and then throw his carcass out for the coyotes to eat!"
Cat replied quietly, "That's fair." Which was weird to hear her say because she fucking loves that son of a bitch rooster. But I meant it, and she could tell.
I stomped back into the house and just hyper-ventilated and HATED that stupid bird with all my being for a few minutes. I knew I was off my rocker, but I didn't give a shit. When Cat came in later, I told her, "I'll smoke something and calm down." Because I'm not really mad at her, I'm mad at that fucking bird, but I knew she was the one feeling it.
The thing is, though, I really do want him to get culled. Cat wants to keep this pure line of cream legbars heirloom breed chickens, but they are NOTHING SPECIAL at all. Not like silkies or several other kinds of heirloom breeds. They are plain brown and white and buff (or a little yellowy-orange) and shaped like plain ordinary chickens. Blah. Who the fuck cares? The suburban farm store that sold it that she loved is going out of business and so much for that legacy!
I'm thinking about waiting until Cat goes back to work to shoo him OUT of the pen, maybe chasing him into the woods or something. Or, when putting the chickens in at night, shooing him out and all the rest in so he'll be taken. I fucking hate that fucker now.
I will always be a meat eater, but right now I am hating on chickens as precious beings so much it isn't funny. Like I want to learn how to cut their throats to bleed them out to eat them. Especially Hey Hey. I think I would not feel bad killing an animal for once in my life.
You know what...? I think I AM mad at Cat! She keeps making these dumb decisions that make shit harder for me, like keeping a chicken breed that has very aggressive roosters, or not killing Hey Hey after the first few times he came after me, or putting carbinders on the gates that require a specific grip and time to maneuver open. All silly decisions that are not based on objective understanding, but rather on odd ideas of her own very biased nature. And I put up with it because... you know... whatever. But all of those cute little personal decisions added up meant I was put in danger from a stupid fucking BIRD! And I resent the fuck out of her for that shit! How fucking STUPID!!!
Well, fuck her and really fuck that rooster. I'm going to advocate his culling and I'll be doing what I can to get him killed until he is. And if he comes after me again, I will beat the SHIT out of him!!! I'll let my temper go to town and destroy that fucking fowl beast!! I'm tired of rating lower than everyone in the world, even a fucking god-damned rooster and I'll fight the mother fucker back. Cat can just hate me if she wants to. I don't care, I want Hey Hey DEAD.