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[luckytj24]

went gambling for my first time last night at Grand Casino, in hinckely. bob's brother zac is home from iraq with a shit load of money and gave me and bob $40 and we won $110. pretty sweet first-timers luck!!!! we ate snow crab and got sticky. it was soo much fun. then , getting home at 11:30pm we went to play pool, so zac could use his newly

Comments

[_so_this_is_luv]

Im just curious as to why you are drawing the line at bob getting a job? i know that its a step. a big step. but he's had the oppurtinity to get a job for a long time. And what if he gets fired? then what are you going to do? will you move out then? will you even have the oppurtunity to move out?

this is such a once in a lifetime chance. and even if bob does get a job, that doesnt mean everything is going to change. and nothing has yet. and i can specifically remember you saying you didnt want to marry him like this. where are you going with him?

you have 2 choices. take a giant step forward, or stay where you are while bob plays catch up with his life.
He wont grow up with you holding his hand, he has to do it himself.

I love you and i just want you to clearly think about this decision. think about YOU mel. your the one you need to put first. if you move out its not the end of you and bob. because your in love.

I love you and i hope that you know im saying this all because i love you. not to attack you or make you choose what i think you should do. I will support you either way. I hope you understand that.

[luckytj24]

ever since i read this i can't stop thinking about it. i just wish there was an easy way out you know. cuz he's trying hard now... but i hate to be the one to tell him it's almost too late.
see he thinks it'll be the end of us though... at least he did the first time i brought this whole thing up last week.
damn life complications....
besides, i don't have anywhere to go.....................

[_so_this_is_luv]

Thats not true and you know it. Your mom said she would find you a place. and im sure that she wont have one by friday. and i know you dont want to go home. But im sure you could find something temporary untill you can get a place to live. not having anywhere to go is no excuse. Because this is your chance not only to get out, but to help bob get his life together. this is a once in a lifetime chance that you probably will never get again. If you have to go home for a week or two. maybe it would do you some good to relax for a while and not have to worry about rent and everything. it would give you a break from the world. It seems to me like you think everyone will think that you failed if you have to go back home. like you didnt make it in the real world. But you have done better then anyone i know because of everything that you have had to sacrafice for anthoer person. I can honestly say i take pride in saying that i am your friend and if you go home i think i might burst with pride. This will probably be one of the hardest decisions that you will ever have to make. and i dont want you to give everything that is being offered to you up because you dont have a place. Ill let you stay at my house untill you find a place. i just really think this is the best thing for you, bob, and your relationship together.

i love you and i wish i could explain this all better. maybe we should get together and talk. give me a call and we'll make plans.

sry this is so long.

[luckytj24]

i've made the decision i want to move out, but i don't know how to even bring it up to him, because i gave him until friday.... i notice i keep needing this constant change for things. he did say if it came down to it, he would move back to his mom's trailer in gary....(oh so far away). and yes i know i need the help, but the conditions that come with it are too harsh. like i know i can stay at my mom's friends house, but bob would never be allowed over. i don't want to be "protected from him" that's not what i need. i just need the strength to make it clear to him what needs to change.
but think about it honestly, your parents would never let it fly me staying there....
i don't want to go home not only because i think people will think i've failed but, because all my life i hated living with my parents and the shit they dig up to fight about. when i don't live with them, i can walk away, set my own rules.
the only thing i know for sure there's a place opening up in june on 21st ave, but i DO not and cannot live with my parents for even that long. my schedule's too busy to live there too. i don't know, these aren't more excuses, because i do want to live on my own, but it's the telling why part and THEN the fact that once i tell him, i have to spend that time over my birthday moving.......