Half and Joe...
This past weekend has been killer.
I have lots of thoughts running through my head, and.... I feel the need to attempt to organize them.
I've been acting like none of this bothered me at all. Truth is... I just didn't know how to express it. Me... full of emotions, I know.
Last weekend when I was a Joes I watched this movie that made me think a lot. So this is where the train of thought is coming from.
I am a whole person. I don't need anyone. I realized this fact long ago even if I couldn't put it into words. I am self sufficiant. I could survive on my own if necessary. I wasn't really looking for anyone to fill a void. There wasn't one that exsisted even if I though there was.
Then you walked into my life again. I was whole and within weeks I became a half of a whole with you.
This discovery of you made me realize I could only be so much. I mean...
you are everything I am not.
You may be my opposite and still a lot like me, but you complete me.
Now that you are gone. I am no longer whole. I still don't need you, but I want you here more than ever. Everything I've ever run from, or fought, or not known anything about you gave me. You taught me many things. You helped me become a woman. You helped me grow up when I was fighting it so hard not to.
I want you here, but I will not try to talk you into staying. I want you to want to be here. Not out of guilt, but out of desire, because you possibly feel the same way.
I am no longer scared.
My pain is well deserved. I loved you fully. I gave you everything I had. I regret nothing.
Because I LOVE YOU!
I will still love you tomorrow, and for many days after that. One day the pain will lighten and I will think of you less. I will forever hold you though. In your John Deere t-shirt, in your country music, in your dodge ram pick up, in your desire to be half and whole at the same time. In your realization that you can't have both even though we try.
I will be ok. Don't think I'm not upset. I have no desire to cause you drama though. So... here it will stay, and it will not enter your world but in my words on this page.
I love you.
I will miss you greatly.
I'm sorry if you think I am dramatic. This is me. It's who I am, and who I will be forever.
I have lots of thoughts running through my head, and.... I feel the need to attempt to organize them.
I've been acting like none of this bothered me at all. Truth is... I just didn't know how to express it. Me... full of emotions, I know.
Last weekend when I was a Joes I watched this movie that made me think a lot. So this is where the train of thought is coming from.
I am a whole person. I don't need anyone. I realized this fact long ago even if I couldn't put it into words. I am self sufficiant. I could survive on my own if necessary. I wasn't really looking for anyone to fill a void. There wasn't one that exsisted even if I though there was.
Then you walked into my life again. I was whole and within weeks I became a half of a whole with you.
This discovery of you made me realize I could only be so much. I mean...
you are everything I am not.
You may be my opposite and still a lot like me, but you complete me.
Now that you are gone. I am no longer whole. I still don't need you, but I want you here more than ever. Everything I've ever run from, or fought, or not known anything about you gave me. You taught me many things. You helped me become a woman. You helped me grow up when I was fighting it so hard not to.
I want you here, but I will not try to talk you into staying. I want you to want to be here. Not out of guilt, but out of desire, because you possibly feel the same way.
I am no longer scared.
My pain is well deserved. I loved you fully. I gave you everything I had. I regret nothing.
Because I LOVE YOU!
I will still love you tomorrow, and for many days after that. One day the pain will lighten and I will think of you less. I will forever hold you though. In your John Deere t-shirt, in your country music, in your dodge ram pick up, in your desire to be half and whole at the same time. In your realization that you can't have both even though we try.
I will be ok. Don't think I'm not upset. I have no desire to cause you drama though. So... here it will stay, and it will not enter your world but in my words on this page.
I love you.
I will miss you greatly.
I'm sorry if you think I am dramatic. This is me. It's who I am, and who I will be forever.