my sister's going to be the next dave chapelle...
...Because she may be only fourteen years old, but she says the most hilarious things ever. A few of her quotes from tonight:
"I may dress like a hooker, but at least I dress like an expensive one."
(About a girl at school) "The only things that come out of her mouth are gossip and dick."
(About the same girl) "If I beat her up, I'd send her home in a matchbox!"
(About a boy from school) "I can't believe he has Smirnoff as the background image on his MySpace page. He's, like, four feet tall. He's too short to drink!"
"I'm afraid to give her a hug in case ugliness is contagious."
"She's kind of pretty, in that drug-addict-who-hasn't-slept-for-two-weeks way."
And later on, she was telling us a story about how she and her friends were walking around the neighborhood at night and completely freaked out because they thought they saw a skunk, but upon closer inspection it turned out to just be a plastic bag. Lol, I love Toni's stories. :-D
"I may dress like a hooker, but at least I dress like an expensive one."
(About a girl at school) "The only things that come out of her mouth are gossip and dick."
(About the same girl) "If I beat her up, I'd send her home in a matchbox!"
(About a boy from school) "I can't believe he has Smirnoff as the background image on his MySpace page. He's, like, four feet tall. He's too short to drink!"
"I'm afraid to give her a hug in case ugliness is contagious."
"She's kind of pretty, in that drug-addict-who-hasn't-slept-for-two-weeks way."
And later on, she was telling us a story about how she and her friends were walking around the neighborhood at night and completely freaked out because they thought they saw a skunk, but upon closer inspection it turned out to just be a plastic bag. Lol, I love Toni's stories. :-D