You mean it seems as if I've got all my ducks in order???
:o|
*rolls eyes* What was it again? FOCL. Oh my....
...
Thank you for the passage/quote. It is appreciated... very much so.
I'm not all that organized... I'm just moving forward.
I'm just tired of being afraid all the time, B... of being afraid to live my own life, however calmly messy it is. I'm tired of feeling like I am on the outside looking in and that I don't really belong and that I don't really deserve and that I don't really matter... that I can't be my sometimes rather intense self... of feeling that it's okay that I am the periphery and the tangent and the harmony and the horatio and that I'm not the center of anyone's world, especially my own. Because that isn't okay. Everything inside me says it's not. If it were, I wouldn't feel the way I do.
So, in my own round about way... I'm doing something about it, I guess. Includes big things like finding the job. Includes small things too, like tonight, for example, I didn't want to be lonely anymore, so I gave you a call without hesitating. :o)
You should post about your chaos. I may have seen a preview of it, though, when I posted a comment to a certain lovely londoner's journal earlier this evening.
:o|
*rolls eyes* What was it again? FOCL. Oh my....
...
Thank you for the passage/quote. It is appreciated... very much so.
I'm not all that organized... I'm just moving forward.
I'm just tired of being afraid all the time, B... of being afraid to live my own life, however calmly messy it is. I'm tired of feeling like I am on the outside looking in and that I don't really belong and that I don't really deserve and that I don't really matter... that I can't be my sometimes rather intense self... of feeling that it's okay that I am the periphery and the tangent and the harmony and the horatio and that I'm not the center of anyone's world, especially my own. Because that isn't okay. Everything inside me says it's not. If it were, I wouldn't feel the way I do.
So, in my own round about way... I'm doing something about it, I guess. Includes big things like finding the job. Includes small things too, like tonight, for example, I didn't want to be lonely anymore, so I gave you a call without hesitating. :o)
You should post about your chaos. I may have seen a preview of it, though, when I posted a comment to a certain lovely londoner's journal earlier this evening.
Or, yes... perhaps I'll catch you on the phone.
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