Even after concluding that my feelings for Max were a mere crush...
I still feel like running away and hiding from him.
I still tuck my head from his sight,
Gasp at his presence,
Shake and quiver from his acknowledgement of my existence,
Despise his sweetness,
... But I don't like him, maybe it's just my exboyfriend-phobia syndrome, (no, we never dated!) it happens when I try to forget someone, usually my exes.
I still get stupid fantasies in my head, I wish they would go away already.
I should have never, ever, ever spoken of him to my friends, their support and silliness has poisoned my mind with more of that torturing false hope.
Why is it that I keep wishing for him to approach me, but shudder at his friendly affection?
Why is it that I am angered by his ignorance?
So what if he's my type, he has many flaws!
Just like a silly crush, my feelings for him will be degraded to mere friendliness; my only wish is for them to do it quickly!
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