Jan 13, 2008 21:28
sometimes i lie awake at night and wonder what my life would be like if i could go back and do something-or-other differently. choose a different sport, get into religion (or let it get into me), tac onto a different group, follow a different role model, etc. it opens a world of possibilities that are intruiging to say the least, but invariably i fall asleep with the feeling that the course i've traced is pretty okay. but then sometimes i just wish i could go back and do it the same. if a genie gave me a few wishes, i think one up near the top would be the ability to make myself invisible for extended but controlled periods of time. also near the top would be the opportunity to do it all again. sure not all my memories are of good times, but i'd say it's been an amazing run so far and i'm just getting started*. come to think of it, i could use as much time on this earth as i can get my hands on. it's all going by so fast. tonight i walked along the lake and took a seat on the rocks down by the waves and closed my eyes and just held my breath against the breeze (gusts 15-20km, NE) and just wished the moment could last forever...
*speaking of the future, someone asked me the other day what i wanted to do after uni. i've heard the question more than a few times, especially when i say i'm studying physics. what do i want to be when i grow up? where do i see myself? i never really gave it all that much thought. do i even plan on growing up? i guess i have to, though it'd be fun to be a teen for a while longer. i don't actually care so much what i'm doing in 15 years as much as who i am. who will Lukas Roger refer to? i think that isn't even all that important. well, i think i do know what i want to be; when i grow up, i want to be happy. there's an answer.
"Storms make oaks take deeper root."
George Herbert (1593 - 1633)