Brenda's Wedding
Well, I have a lot of things to say about that wedding.
1. Horrible timing! She had her fucking wedding in the middle of January. Do you realize what that meant? It was 16 degrees out. How can I dress to seduce in 16 degree weather? I mean, there are many sacrificies I'm willing to make in order to get laid, but freezing my ass off ain't one of them. I ended up having to go in a black pant suit which does look great on me and does still show off my ... assets, but it pails in omparison to the dress I had originally bought for the occassion. Do you know that this was only the third time I have not gotten lucky at a wedding? And the other two weddings were family, so that's excusable! This one? No. That is just wrong!
2. The reception dinner was not that great. They had this chicken dish that was way under-flavored. The steamed vegetables were in the steamer a little too long. At least the bread was good. The open bar made it all better though. I knocked back my share of free drinks. Which makes the fact that I didn't get lucky even more depressing. Is it me? Have I lost my touch? Do I just not have that same old sex appeal that I've cherished for so long? Am I getting old?
3. Luke got into a fight with Mario at the reception which was really the high point of the whole thing. Mario owed Luke a few hundred dollars that went back to the Stanley Cup finals last season. He's been dodging Luke until yesterday and Luke was ready to collect. One thing to know about my brother, never try to welch on a bet with him. He's going to collect one way or another. So he got in a few good shots on Mario before Rosie broke it up. Then she scolded Luke for starting trouble and made Mario pay up to end the argument. Then Luke got sufficently wasted at the bar. I don't know when he left or how he got home. Maybe I should call him.
Overall, it sucked.
1. Horrible timing! She had her fucking wedding in the middle of January. Do you realize what that meant? It was 16 degrees out. How can I dress to seduce in 16 degree weather? I mean, there are many sacrificies I'm willing to make in order to get laid, but freezing my ass off ain't one of them. I ended up having to go in a black pant suit which does look great on me and does still show off my ... assets, but it pails in omparison to the dress I had originally bought for the occassion. Do you know that this was only the third time I have not gotten lucky at a wedding? And the other two weddings were family, so that's excusable! This one? No. That is just wrong!
2. The reception dinner was not that great. They had this chicken dish that was way under-flavored. The steamed vegetables were in the steamer a little too long. At least the bread was good. The open bar made it all better though. I knocked back my share of free drinks. Which makes the fact that I didn't get lucky even more depressing. Is it me? Have I lost my touch? Do I just not have that same old sex appeal that I've cherished for so long? Am I getting old?
3. Luke got into a fight with Mario at the reception which was really the high point of the whole thing. Mario owed Luke a few hundred dollars that went back to the Stanley Cup finals last season. He's been dodging Luke until yesterday and Luke was ready to collect. One thing to know about my brother, never try to welch on a bet with him. He's going to collect one way or another. So he got in a few good shots on Mario before Rosie broke it up. Then she scolded Luke for starting trouble and made Mario pay up to end the argument. Then Luke got sufficently wasted at the bar. I don't know when he left or how he got home. Maybe I should call him.
Overall, it sucked.