Need, Chapter 40
Title: Need
Author: luckyj52587
Pairing: Jackson/Ashley, implied R/K
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone
Summary: This is a many-chaptered story following Jackson/Ashley from the start of New Moon filming, and beyond.
“Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Elizabeth Browning
Chapter 40
There was some barking, and some shuffling around, and Ashley moaned loudly as she opened her eyes. She saw Jackson getting dressed and Marlo dancing around his feet excitedly. “Hey,” Jackson said, noticing she was awake.
“Too bright,” she rasped out, squinting her eyes.
Jackson actually grinned, and Ashley glared at him. “What’s - you - going,” she said incoherently.
“I’m taking Marlo out. It’s already ten in the morning.”
He clipped Marlo’s leash to her collar. “What time did we go to bed?” Ashley asked after taking a moment to clear her mind.
Jackson smirked at her. “We got back around four or five, but we didn’t go to sleep until six.”
“Fuck me,” Ashley groaned, shutting her eyes against the offending sunlight.
“I already did,” Jackson told her cheerfully. “I’ll be back in a little while.”
She wanted to throw something at him for being so bright and chipper, but he was gone before she could muster the strength. Ashley laid still for a moment, then slowly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, then looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was in disarray, her eye make-up was smeared, and she was completely naked. Suddenly a wave of nausea overtook her, and she threw up in the toilet. “Ugh,” she groaned aloud, then brushed her teeth again.
Ashley headed back to the bed. She stopped to close the curtains over the window so the too-bright sunlight wouldn’t stream in, and picked up a shirt of Jackson’s. She pulled it on, then lay down again. Being hungover sucks, she thought, but at least she didn’t feel nauseous anymore.
She closed her eyes, trying to will herself to sleep so that the next time she woke up she wouldn’t be hungover - but of course it didn’t work that way. Ashley had no energy or inclination to get out of bed to do anything, but she couldn’t fall back asleep. She kept her eyes closed anyway, and let her mind wander to the previous evening…
Jackson, while buzzed, was nowhere near as drunk as Ashley. The two of them, along with Jerad, caught a cab back to the hotel from the club. Jackson kept his arm around Ashley as the three of them crossed the lobby and got into the elevator. Ashley was still humming the Big & Rich song. Jerad got off on Jackson’s floor, sending Jackson a knowing smirk, and Jackson and Ashley rode up to Ashley’s floor. “What were you going to tell me when we were alone?” Jackson asked, remembering the words she had said to him backstage at his show.
Ashley giggled as the doors opened on her floor. “Can I have a piggy-back ride?” she asked with a slight pout, ignoring his question.
Jackson bent his knees slightly. “Hop on.”
Ashley clambered onto his back, her usual grace affected by her drunkenness, and he held her legs tightly. “Don’t let go,” he warned her, and her arms tightened around his neck.
She took his hat off and placed it on her own head, then ran her fingers through his hair. The hairspray wasn’t holding up very well anymore, and his hair was falling out of its bouffant. “Your hair’s messed up,” she informed him as he walked down the hall.
“Oh no!” he replied in mock-horror.
“You know, Mr. Rathbone - Monroe Rathbone - Monroe,” Ashley repeated, then giggled.
Jackson stopped in front of her door and fumbled with the key, only listening to her rambling with half an ear. “Husband of mine,” Ashley continued. “You know, even with the hair and that porn ‘stache - “
“Wait, what?” Jackson asked as he finally got Ashley’s door open and walked inside.
“Your mustache looked like the mustache of a porn star,” Ashley said with an air of enlightenment.
Jackson laughed. “Did you like it?”
He set her down on the floor so he could see her expression. “Yes. No. Yes. I’m not quite sure what it says about me that I liked it,” Ashley said, frowning thoughtfully.
Then her eyes met him and she smiled slowly. “I guess I just think you’re always sexy.”
Jackson gave a little laugh, looking away uncomfortably before bringing his eyes back to hers again. Ashley giggled at his expression and trailed a line of kisses up his neck. “Do you not believe me, honey?” she cooed into his ear.
Her tongue traced the outline of his ear, and she felt Jackson shiver slightly. “Especially when you’re performing. You’re so sexy then. And your voice…you know I think about you all the time?” she breathed. “Your eyes. They’re so…intense.”
She smiled delightedly as Jackson pressed her against the wall, his eyes burning into hers. She was pleased he decided to play. “I think about you too, darlin’,” he said, his voice husky.
He leaned forward and Ashley waited expectantly for him to kiss her. Instead he licked her neck, then bit down on the spot he knew drove her wild. One of his hands came up to massage her breast and Ashley felt herself squirm in pleasure. “Jackson,” she said, her words coming out as a moan.
“I like it when you say my name like that,” he told her, bringing his mouth to her and kissing her hungrily…
Ashley’s eyes flew open at the sound of the door opening. Jackson and Marlo came in. Jackson set down the coffees he was carrying and unsnapped Marlo’s leash. Marlo ran over to Ashley, who sat up slightly and picked up the dog and put her in her lap. “Hey baby,” she said.
“Hey darlin’,” Jackson replied.
Ashley stuck her tongue out at him. “I was talking to Marlo.”
He just smiled, and Ashley saw he was teasing her. She pouted. “You being cheerful is annoying.”
Jackson stifled a laugh at her petulant tone. “I brought coffee,” he tempted her.
Ashley pursed her lips, considering. “Okay. I guess you’re not annoying.”
“Thanks,” he said dryly, bringing her the coffee.
He sat down in bed next to her, and Marlo got off of Ashley’s lap and settled herself in Jackson’s instead. “Traitor,” she muttered
“Somebody’s hungover,” Jackson commented, taking a sip of his coffee.
Ashley glared at him. “How come you’re never like this? You drink and smoke and never sleep because you’re playing until all hours and you’re always…fine.”
“That’s how we do it down South,” Jackson said, exaggerating his accent.
“Oh shut up. I’m from the South too.”
“You’re from Florida. There’s a difference.”
“So now you’re going to tell me I’m not a real Southerner? You didn’t even live in Texas until you were how old?”
Jackson patted Marlo on the head. “Mommy’s cranky,” he said to the dog.
“I am not,” Ashley said, crossing her arms.
Jackson stifled a smile. He set Marlo on the floor then pulled Ashley into his lap, her back against his chest. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
He took her hands in his and played with her Alice ring as she replied. “I threw up, and I have a headache.”
“Aw, poor baby,” he said, kissing the side of her head. “How much do you remember from last night?”
Ashley was pretty sure she remembered everything. She remembered the 100 Monkeys show, and going to the club with Emily and Xavier. She remembered dancing on the bar with Emily, Jackson and Jerad arriving, and going back to the hotel with Jackson. She remembered making out with Jackson with her back against the wall of her room, grinding against him, until he brought them both to the bed. Ashley blushed a little as she remembered insisting Jackson keep his cowboy hat on while she rode him, but her lips curved slightly when she remembered that he had brought her to orgasm - twice.
“Uh, I remember everything, I think,” she finally said aloud, glad that Jackson couldn’t see her face.
She could hear the smile and tinge of satisfaction in his voice when he spoke. “Good.”
************************************************************************
“So Emily’s heading back to LA now?” Jackson said into his phone.
He was getting ready for the 100 Monkeys show at Backstage Lounge. Jackson and the others were getting things set up for the show, but he had stepped outside when Ashley called. “Yeah. Xavier and I are on our way to your show now. I’m just going to sneak in the back, okay?”
“Okay. How are you doing?”
He wondered if she were still hungover, or if she were missing her friend. “I’m fine, just a little tired. I’m going to hide out from the fans.”
Jackson smiled. “Okay. Just go towards the alley, Marty’ll let you guys in the back door.”
“Okay. See you soon.”
Jackson went back inside and went over to Marty. “Ashley and Xavier are on their way,” he said. “They’re just going to hang out with you in the back room during the show, though. Ashley doesn’t want to deal with the crowd.”
“Okay,” Marty agreed, then smirked. “Is she still hungover from last night?”
Jackson rolled his eyes. Jerad had told the others about what had happened at the club the night before. “She’s fine.”
************************************************************************
Ashley leaned her head back, her eyes half-closed as she listened to the music. 100 Monkeys were playing and Ashley was sitting in the back room so she wouldn’t be spotted. Xavier was sitting next to her on the couch, and Marty was doing something on his computer in a chair a few feet away. Dan and Scott were also there, along with a few people Ashley didn’t know.
She was tired, and a little sad Emily was gone. But she realized she had never just listened to Jackson’s music before. Ashley had seen him perform many times, of course, but then she was distracted watching him. She had never paid close attention to each word of the lyrics. “Are you sleeping?” Xavier asked.
Ashley opened her eyes all the way. “No. Just listening,” she replied, her voice taking on a dream-like quality.
“This is a good one,” Xavier commented. “What’s it called again?”
“’LDF’,” Ashley responded, then clarified, “Long distance phone call.”
Xavier cocked his head slightly as Ashley stared off into space. Yesterday she had eagerly told him and Emily the story behind each song. Xavier wondered if she were still hungover or tired, or if she just didn’t know the background information about this one. “I like it,” Xavier remarked after a moment, when Ashley remained silent. “Who wrote it?”
“Jackson, I think.”
Ashley called over to Dan. “Hey, Dan, who wrote this song, Jackson or your brother?”
Dan looked at Ashley in surprise. “Jay,” he said, as if the answer were obvious.
Ashley frowned slightly at his tone. Does he think I’m a bad girlfriend because I didn’t know that? That’s not fair.
She crossed her arms. “See? It was Jackson,” she told Xavier.
Ashley leaned her head back again and closed her eyes all the way this time. She missed seeing the look Dan and Marty exchanged, but Xavier caught it. He briefly wondered what that was about, but was distracted when another song started. “Tell me about this one,” Xavier said, nudging Ashley.
She opened her eyes slightly. “It’s called ‘Smoke’. Ben’s the one singing it - Ben Johnson, I mean.”
Xavier scrunched up his face in thought. “The one with the mustache?”
Ashley smirked a little. “Yeah.”
Marty and Dan got up and stood near the door, talking quietly. “So is the person who sings the song the one who wrote it?” Xavier asked.
“More or less, yeah,” Ashley replied.
“Not this time, though,” Marty put in from across the room. “Jay wrote it but he was busy filming a lot, so Ben started singing it when we’d do shows and Jay couldn’t make it.”
Xavier got to his feet to peek out the door at the audience, and he stood a few feet away from Marty and Dan. The two of them were speaking in low tones, but now that he was closer Xavier could hear them easily. “Does Ashley seriously not get it?” Dan asked.
Get what? Xavier wondered as he looked out at the crowd. Do Jackson’s friends not like her?
“Yeah, I don’t think she knows,” Marty replied. “You know how Jay is. Why would he tell her?”
“You’d think she could figure it out,” Dan remarked.
Figure what out? Xavier wondered, but he didn’t ask because he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was eavesdropping.
“Ever since he met her, his songs have been about her. It’s kinda obvious,” Dan continued.
Marty just shrugged, but now Xavier understood what they were talking about. They were surprised Ashley didn’t know that the songs Jackson wrote were about her. Xavier may be a musician, but he was no songwriter. He was impressed that Jackson could do both; his songs were really good. Xavier went back over and sat down next to Ashley again. “Hey,” she said without opening her eyes.
“Hey.”
Ashley opened her eyes to look at him. The band wasn’t playing at the moment; they had finished ‘Smoke’ and were asking the audience for a word so they could do an improve song. “I like that they’re doing different songs from last night,” Xavier said casually.
Ashley smiled. “I know right? I don’t know a lot about these things but they haven’t been playing together for all that long, so I think the number of songs they have in their repertoire is pretty impressive.”
“Especially since some of them were written pretty recently, yeah?”
Ashley cocked her head to the side. “I don’t really know.”
Xavier gave a little laugh. Marty and Dan were right; Ashley had no idea. “Well, I would assume so. Aren’t they about you?”
The question was out of Ashley’s mouth immediately. “What?”
Xavier shrugged. “That’s what I heard.”
Ashley didn’t reply. They could hear the band decide on making up a song about David Bowie, and the guys started playing. Xavier looked at Ashley out of the corner of his eye and saw that she was staring straight ahead, lost in thought. Idly, he wondered if Ashley was re-playing all of Jackson’s songs in her head - and this time, paying attention to the lyrics.
************************************************************************
Ashley stayed seated on the couch as the back room started bustling. 100 Monkeys had finished their set. The band, along with Marty and Dan, were packing everything up. Xavier had gone out to sign autographs and take pictures with the fans, but Ashley had no intention of doing so. She was relatively certain no one had spotted her.
She curled up in the corner of the couch and closed her eyes again. Ignoring all the background noise, she let her thoughts wander. She had never known that Jackson had always felt so strongly for her; his songs had all been written before they had gotten back together. As it had for the past hour, her mind played random snippets of Jackson’s songs that suddenly took on a whole new meaning for her.
I love you much too much…the last time that I slept with you was the last time that I slept…why am I the weird guy…you reap the seed of a love you can’t appreciate…my pleading eyes aren’t asking for that much…I love you much too much…all my family’s worried about me, my friends say they’re worried about me…you make me feel alone…it’s not like I’m a junkie for your love…can I touch you…I love you much too much…
Someone put a hand on Ashley’s shoulder and she jumped, her eyes flying open. “Hey, sorry,” Jackson said, giving her a dimpled smile. “Were you sleeping?”
“No, of course not” she said as she got to her feet. “I was just thinking.”
Thinking that you don’t know how much I like you, how much I’ve always liked you. Thinking, maybe for the first time, that you like me as much as I like you. Thinking that maybe I more than like you.
But Ashley didn’t speak any of her thoughts aloud. Instead she wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his shoulder. “Good show,” she said quietly.
Jackson hugged her back, a bit confused. Ashley seemed - not melancholy, exactly, but quiet and thoughtful. “You okay?” he asked, his hand stroking her back.
She pulled back slightly to at him, and she smiled softly. “I’m fine. I’m with you.”
Jackson smiled back at her, slight surprise in his eyes. Ashley gave him a gentle kiss. “We’re going to stay and do a signing,” he said after a moment. “You can catch a ride with Jerad now, though, if you want. He’s heading back to the hotel to get his stuff because he’s flying out to Boston tonight.”
“Okay.”
She hugged him again, then kissed his cheek. “Come to my room when you’re done, I’ll be waiting for you.”
With that she went over to Jerad, leaving Jackson to stare after her. Ashley and Jerad got into the car waiting to take them back to the hotel. “Good show,” Ashley said.
“Thanks. You looked like you were sleeping when we first came back.”
Ashley laughed lightly. “I wasn’t! I was just - I was just listening, without being distracted by actually watching you guys.”
Jerad raised an eyebrow. “Uh - thanks? I think.”
“So you’re going to Boston?” Ashley asked.
Jerad smiled. “Yeah, we’re starting things up for Girlfriend. Christina’s already out there.”
“Christina?” Ashley repeated, puzzled.
Her expression quickly cleared. “Oh, your wife! Right?”
Jerad’s smile widened. “Yeah. Our production company is the one producing this film. But we’ll be back…uh…I don’t know, Thursday or Friday. You know, for the party we’re hosting next weekend?”
“Right,” Ashley said.
100 Monkeys was hosting a party for the Eclipse cast and crew, as well as other key players who would be in Vancouver. “I didn’t know your wife was coming,” Ashley said.
The car pulled up at the back entrance to the hotel, and Jerad and Ashley headed for the elevator. Ashley could feel her curiosity about Christina growing, and when she spoke it was with excitement. “I can’t wait to meet her!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author’s Note: I just wanted to clarify, I have no idea when Jackson wrote any of his songs. It could have been many years ago. He did actually write all the ones I mentioned, though.
Author: luckyj52587
Pairing: Jackson/Ashley, implied R/K
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone
Summary: This is a many-chaptered story following Jackson/Ashley from the start of New Moon filming, and beyond.
“Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Elizabeth Browning
Chapter 40
There was some barking, and some shuffling around, and Ashley moaned loudly as she opened her eyes. She saw Jackson getting dressed and Marlo dancing around his feet excitedly. “Hey,” Jackson said, noticing she was awake.
“Too bright,” she rasped out, squinting her eyes.
Jackson actually grinned, and Ashley glared at him. “What’s - you - going,” she said incoherently.
“I’m taking Marlo out. It’s already ten in the morning.”
He clipped Marlo’s leash to her collar. “What time did we go to bed?” Ashley asked after taking a moment to clear her mind.
Jackson smirked at her. “We got back around four or five, but we didn’t go to sleep until six.”
“Fuck me,” Ashley groaned, shutting her eyes against the offending sunlight.
“I already did,” Jackson told her cheerfully. “I’ll be back in a little while.”
She wanted to throw something at him for being so bright and chipper, but he was gone before she could muster the strength. Ashley laid still for a moment, then slowly got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth, then looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was in disarray, her eye make-up was smeared, and she was completely naked. Suddenly a wave of nausea overtook her, and she threw up in the toilet. “Ugh,” she groaned aloud, then brushed her teeth again.
Ashley headed back to the bed. She stopped to close the curtains over the window so the too-bright sunlight wouldn’t stream in, and picked up a shirt of Jackson’s. She pulled it on, then lay down again. Being hungover sucks, she thought, but at least she didn’t feel nauseous anymore.
She closed her eyes, trying to will herself to sleep so that the next time she woke up she wouldn’t be hungover - but of course it didn’t work that way. Ashley had no energy or inclination to get out of bed to do anything, but she couldn’t fall back asleep. She kept her eyes closed anyway, and let her mind wander to the previous evening…
Jackson, while buzzed, was nowhere near as drunk as Ashley. The two of them, along with Jerad, caught a cab back to the hotel from the club. Jackson kept his arm around Ashley as the three of them crossed the lobby and got into the elevator. Ashley was still humming the Big & Rich song. Jerad got off on Jackson’s floor, sending Jackson a knowing smirk, and Jackson and Ashley rode up to Ashley’s floor. “What were you going to tell me when we were alone?” Jackson asked, remembering the words she had said to him backstage at his show.
Ashley giggled as the doors opened on her floor. “Can I have a piggy-back ride?” she asked with a slight pout, ignoring his question.
Jackson bent his knees slightly. “Hop on.”
Ashley clambered onto his back, her usual grace affected by her drunkenness, and he held her legs tightly. “Don’t let go,” he warned her, and her arms tightened around his neck.
She took his hat off and placed it on her own head, then ran her fingers through his hair. The hairspray wasn’t holding up very well anymore, and his hair was falling out of its bouffant. “Your hair’s messed up,” she informed him as he walked down the hall.
“Oh no!” he replied in mock-horror.
“You know, Mr. Rathbone - Monroe Rathbone - Monroe,” Ashley repeated, then giggled.
Jackson stopped in front of her door and fumbled with the key, only listening to her rambling with half an ear. “Husband of mine,” Ashley continued. “You know, even with the hair and that porn ‘stache - “
“Wait, what?” Jackson asked as he finally got Ashley’s door open and walked inside.
“Your mustache looked like the mustache of a porn star,” Ashley said with an air of enlightenment.
Jackson laughed. “Did you like it?”
He set her down on the floor so he could see her expression. “Yes. No. Yes. I’m not quite sure what it says about me that I liked it,” Ashley said, frowning thoughtfully.
Then her eyes met him and she smiled slowly. “I guess I just think you’re always sexy.”
Jackson gave a little laugh, looking away uncomfortably before bringing his eyes back to hers again. Ashley giggled at his expression and trailed a line of kisses up his neck. “Do you not believe me, honey?” she cooed into his ear.
Her tongue traced the outline of his ear, and she felt Jackson shiver slightly. “Especially when you’re performing. You’re so sexy then. And your voice…you know I think about you all the time?” she breathed. “Your eyes. They’re so…intense.”
She smiled delightedly as Jackson pressed her against the wall, his eyes burning into hers. She was pleased he decided to play. “I think about you too, darlin’,” he said, his voice husky.
He leaned forward and Ashley waited expectantly for him to kiss her. Instead he licked her neck, then bit down on the spot he knew drove her wild. One of his hands came up to massage her breast and Ashley felt herself squirm in pleasure. “Jackson,” she said, her words coming out as a moan.
“I like it when you say my name like that,” he told her, bringing his mouth to her and kissing her hungrily…
Ashley’s eyes flew open at the sound of the door opening. Jackson and Marlo came in. Jackson set down the coffees he was carrying and unsnapped Marlo’s leash. Marlo ran over to Ashley, who sat up slightly and picked up the dog and put her in her lap. “Hey baby,” she said.
“Hey darlin’,” Jackson replied.
Ashley stuck her tongue out at him. “I was talking to Marlo.”
He just smiled, and Ashley saw he was teasing her. She pouted. “You being cheerful is annoying.”
Jackson stifled a laugh at her petulant tone. “I brought coffee,” he tempted her.
Ashley pursed her lips, considering. “Okay. I guess you’re not annoying.”
“Thanks,” he said dryly, bringing her the coffee.
He sat down in bed next to her, and Marlo got off of Ashley’s lap and settled herself in Jackson’s instead. “Traitor,” she muttered
“Somebody’s hungover,” Jackson commented, taking a sip of his coffee.
Ashley glared at him. “How come you’re never like this? You drink and smoke and never sleep because you’re playing until all hours and you’re always…fine.”
“That’s how we do it down South,” Jackson said, exaggerating his accent.
“Oh shut up. I’m from the South too.”
“You’re from Florida. There’s a difference.”
“So now you’re going to tell me I’m not a real Southerner? You didn’t even live in Texas until you were how old?”
Jackson patted Marlo on the head. “Mommy’s cranky,” he said to the dog.
“I am not,” Ashley said, crossing her arms.
Jackson stifled a smile. He set Marlo on the floor then pulled Ashley into his lap, her back against his chest. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
He took her hands in his and played with her Alice ring as she replied. “I threw up, and I have a headache.”
“Aw, poor baby,” he said, kissing the side of her head. “How much do you remember from last night?”
Ashley was pretty sure she remembered everything. She remembered the 100 Monkeys show, and going to the club with Emily and Xavier. She remembered dancing on the bar with Emily, Jackson and Jerad arriving, and going back to the hotel with Jackson. She remembered making out with Jackson with her back against the wall of her room, grinding against him, until he brought them both to the bed. Ashley blushed a little as she remembered insisting Jackson keep his cowboy hat on while she rode him, but her lips curved slightly when she remembered that he had brought her to orgasm - twice.
“Uh, I remember everything, I think,” she finally said aloud, glad that Jackson couldn’t see her face.
She could hear the smile and tinge of satisfaction in his voice when he spoke. “Good.”
************************************************************************
“So Emily’s heading back to LA now?” Jackson said into his phone.
He was getting ready for the 100 Monkeys show at Backstage Lounge. Jackson and the others were getting things set up for the show, but he had stepped outside when Ashley called. “Yeah. Xavier and I are on our way to your show now. I’m just going to sneak in the back, okay?”
“Okay. How are you doing?”
He wondered if she were still hungover, or if she were missing her friend. “I’m fine, just a little tired. I’m going to hide out from the fans.”
Jackson smiled. “Okay. Just go towards the alley, Marty’ll let you guys in the back door.”
“Okay. See you soon.”
Jackson went back inside and went over to Marty. “Ashley and Xavier are on their way,” he said. “They’re just going to hang out with you in the back room during the show, though. Ashley doesn’t want to deal with the crowd.”
“Okay,” Marty agreed, then smirked. “Is she still hungover from last night?”
Jackson rolled his eyes. Jerad had told the others about what had happened at the club the night before. “She’s fine.”
************************************************************************
Ashley leaned her head back, her eyes half-closed as she listened to the music. 100 Monkeys were playing and Ashley was sitting in the back room so she wouldn’t be spotted. Xavier was sitting next to her on the couch, and Marty was doing something on his computer in a chair a few feet away. Dan and Scott were also there, along with a few people Ashley didn’t know.
She was tired, and a little sad Emily was gone. But she realized she had never just listened to Jackson’s music before. Ashley had seen him perform many times, of course, but then she was distracted watching him. She had never paid close attention to each word of the lyrics. “Are you sleeping?” Xavier asked.
Ashley opened her eyes all the way. “No. Just listening,” she replied, her voice taking on a dream-like quality.
“This is a good one,” Xavier commented. “What’s it called again?”
“’LDF’,” Ashley responded, then clarified, “Long distance phone call.”
Xavier cocked his head slightly as Ashley stared off into space. Yesterday she had eagerly told him and Emily the story behind each song. Xavier wondered if she were still hungover or tired, or if she just didn’t know the background information about this one. “I like it,” Xavier remarked after a moment, when Ashley remained silent. “Who wrote it?”
“Jackson, I think.”
Ashley called over to Dan. “Hey, Dan, who wrote this song, Jackson or your brother?”
Dan looked at Ashley in surprise. “Jay,” he said, as if the answer were obvious.
Ashley frowned slightly at his tone. Does he think I’m a bad girlfriend because I didn’t know that? That’s not fair.
She crossed her arms. “See? It was Jackson,” she told Xavier.
Ashley leaned her head back again and closed her eyes all the way this time. She missed seeing the look Dan and Marty exchanged, but Xavier caught it. He briefly wondered what that was about, but was distracted when another song started. “Tell me about this one,” Xavier said, nudging Ashley.
She opened her eyes slightly. “It’s called ‘Smoke’. Ben’s the one singing it - Ben Johnson, I mean.”
Xavier scrunched up his face in thought. “The one with the mustache?”
Ashley smirked a little. “Yeah.”
Marty and Dan got up and stood near the door, talking quietly. “So is the person who sings the song the one who wrote it?” Xavier asked.
“More or less, yeah,” Ashley replied.
“Not this time, though,” Marty put in from across the room. “Jay wrote it but he was busy filming a lot, so Ben started singing it when we’d do shows and Jay couldn’t make it.”
Xavier got to his feet to peek out the door at the audience, and he stood a few feet away from Marty and Dan. The two of them were speaking in low tones, but now that he was closer Xavier could hear them easily. “Does Ashley seriously not get it?” Dan asked.
Get what? Xavier wondered as he looked out at the crowd. Do Jackson’s friends not like her?
“Yeah, I don’t think she knows,” Marty replied. “You know how Jay is. Why would he tell her?”
“You’d think she could figure it out,” Dan remarked.
Figure what out? Xavier wondered, but he didn’t ask because he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was eavesdropping.
“Ever since he met her, his songs have been about her. It’s kinda obvious,” Dan continued.
Marty just shrugged, but now Xavier understood what they were talking about. They were surprised Ashley didn’t know that the songs Jackson wrote were about her. Xavier may be a musician, but he was no songwriter. He was impressed that Jackson could do both; his songs were really good. Xavier went back over and sat down next to Ashley again. “Hey,” she said without opening her eyes.
“Hey.”
Ashley opened her eyes to look at him. The band wasn’t playing at the moment; they had finished ‘Smoke’ and were asking the audience for a word so they could do an improve song. “I like that they’re doing different songs from last night,” Xavier said casually.
Ashley smiled. “I know right? I don’t know a lot about these things but they haven’t been playing together for all that long, so I think the number of songs they have in their repertoire is pretty impressive.”
“Especially since some of them were written pretty recently, yeah?”
Ashley cocked her head to the side. “I don’t really know.”
Xavier gave a little laugh. Marty and Dan were right; Ashley had no idea. “Well, I would assume so. Aren’t they about you?”
The question was out of Ashley’s mouth immediately. “What?”
Xavier shrugged. “That’s what I heard.”
Ashley didn’t reply. They could hear the band decide on making up a song about David Bowie, and the guys started playing. Xavier looked at Ashley out of the corner of his eye and saw that she was staring straight ahead, lost in thought. Idly, he wondered if Ashley was re-playing all of Jackson’s songs in her head - and this time, paying attention to the lyrics.
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Ashley stayed seated on the couch as the back room started bustling. 100 Monkeys had finished their set. The band, along with Marty and Dan, were packing everything up. Xavier had gone out to sign autographs and take pictures with the fans, but Ashley had no intention of doing so. She was relatively certain no one had spotted her.
She curled up in the corner of the couch and closed her eyes again. Ignoring all the background noise, she let her thoughts wander. She had never known that Jackson had always felt so strongly for her; his songs had all been written before they had gotten back together. As it had for the past hour, her mind played random snippets of Jackson’s songs that suddenly took on a whole new meaning for her.
I love you much too much…the last time that I slept with you was the last time that I slept…why am I the weird guy…you reap the seed of a love you can’t appreciate…my pleading eyes aren’t asking for that much…I love you much too much…all my family’s worried about me, my friends say they’re worried about me…you make me feel alone…it’s not like I’m a junkie for your love…can I touch you…I love you much too much…
Someone put a hand on Ashley’s shoulder and she jumped, her eyes flying open. “Hey, sorry,” Jackson said, giving her a dimpled smile. “Were you sleeping?”
“No, of course not” she said as she got to her feet. “I was just thinking.”
Thinking that you don’t know how much I like you, how much I’ve always liked you. Thinking, maybe for the first time, that you like me as much as I like you. Thinking that maybe I more than like you.
But Ashley didn’t speak any of her thoughts aloud. Instead she wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head against his shoulder. “Good show,” she said quietly.
Jackson hugged her back, a bit confused. Ashley seemed - not melancholy, exactly, but quiet and thoughtful. “You okay?” he asked, his hand stroking her back.
She pulled back slightly to at him, and she smiled softly. “I’m fine. I’m with you.”
Jackson smiled back at her, slight surprise in his eyes. Ashley gave him a gentle kiss. “We’re going to stay and do a signing,” he said after a moment. “You can catch a ride with Jerad now, though, if you want. He’s heading back to the hotel to get his stuff because he’s flying out to Boston tonight.”
“Okay.”
She hugged him again, then kissed his cheek. “Come to my room when you’re done, I’ll be waiting for you.”
With that she went over to Jerad, leaving Jackson to stare after her. Ashley and Jerad got into the car waiting to take them back to the hotel. “Good show,” Ashley said.
“Thanks. You looked like you were sleeping when we first came back.”
Ashley laughed lightly. “I wasn’t! I was just - I was just listening, without being distracted by actually watching you guys.”
Jerad raised an eyebrow. “Uh - thanks? I think.”
“So you’re going to Boston?” Ashley asked.
Jerad smiled. “Yeah, we’re starting things up for Girlfriend. Christina’s already out there.”
“Christina?” Ashley repeated, puzzled.
Her expression quickly cleared. “Oh, your wife! Right?”
Jerad’s smile widened. “Yeah. Our production company is the one producing this film. But we’ll be back…uh…I don’t know, Thursday or Friday. You know, for the party we’re hosting next weekend?”
“Right,” Ashley said.
100 Monkeys was hosting a party for the Eclipse cast and crew, as well as other key players who would be in Vancouver. “I didn’t know your wife was coming,” Ashley said.
The car pulled up at the back entrance to the hotel, and Jerad and Ashley headed for the elevator. Ashley could feel her curiosity about Christina growing, and when she spoke it was with excitement. “I can’t wait to meet her!”
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Author’s Note: I just wanted to clarify, I have no idea when Jackson wrote any of his songs. It could have been many years ago. He did actually write all the ones I mentioned, though.