*sigh*
Life sucks ass. I haven't updated in about 2 months.. hmm.. Well me and Jason never got back together.. we tried the "stay on a break and see what happens" but that turned into just end it all. That was a few weeks ago. Still not over it surprisingly. Hm since I updated there's been Thanksgiving, my family went to Cali and I stayed here and me and my sister were the only one's who spent it with my grandma. My aunt had her twin boys. Cute kids. I really don't remember November, it's kind of a blur. December... Hm... That's kind of a blur too, except this second half. Me and Jason's fighting has increased in severity. I wish I could stop fighting with him and stop being such a bitch but we did break up a few weeks ago. Just cuz he doesn't love me and has NO feelings towards me doesn't mean I'm not still in love with him and not ready to let go yet. Ya I know, it's never gonna happen again and I need to get over him and move on but, it's not that easy. I really wanna be his best friend though. But how many people do you know who are best friends with their ex's? Exactly. But me and Jason have been the type of "couple" who never did the norm. We still hang out though. He came over last week and we exchanged gifts. He got me Skittles and a $25 gift card to Anchor Blue, LOVED it. I got him gum and condoms.. I felt really cheap. Probly cuz I am but it was really from the heart cuz they were blue and the bag was blue and his favorite color is blue. I also drew him some pictures and made his card. Hm. He went to Pinetop Sunday and got home Wednesday. That was hell. All I hear is "get over it" but with an attachment like mine you can't just "get over it" like everyone else can. And while he was gone I got to hang out with Joey. What an experience. That flaming faggot is lucky he didn't get hit in the face. I went shopping on Monday. I love shopping. I got the cutest shirt from American Eagle and the cutest pants from Anchor Blue. And I traded in some clothes I got for Christmas from the Gap for really good smelling cologne. And I got 3 faceplates for my phone. I already broke the best one too, I'm a dumbass lol. Hm. My grades for the 1st semester were.. 2 A's, 3 B's. I think I might drop out though. Now that i've got such good grades I don't have much to match up and not much to live up to. I just don't feel a need to go anymore. Maybe cuz Jason pushed me to go back and I wanted to impress him and now that he isn't pushing me and I have no reason to impress him in anyway anymore. I dunno, this breakup has me really depressed lately. Maybe I should get back in the scene, maybe that'll help me. Just the thing is.. I don't want anyone new... I want him. :'( It's never gonna happen so I gotta suck it up and stop dreaming. I think I've sapped this entry up enough... Lata kiddies.