Drowning
Drowning. The thing about drowning, is that the rest of the world can't see. You just sink. You wave your arms, and your friends and family at the beach wave back excitedly at you, not knowing you are dying. You just have to find ways to cope. To tunnel out. To drift out. You carry your anxiety. You tell yourself you should be nice to people, because you never know how heavy their burden is.
And eventually, we ask ourselves the same sort of questions. Am I a decent person? Am I useful to society? Are my parents proud of me? Does he like me?
Deep down, we all want to be good. Kind. We like to think we can make the world a better place. That we are on the right side. That even our worst actions serve some sort of higher purpose. Even if that breaches our moral code, we try to come up with excuses to justify it. It is a rationalization of cognitive dissonance. Most of us cannot live with thinking we are 'bad'.
And for those who are honest enough to see it, you either say what others wanted to hear in order to fit in, or you just shut all others out to stay away.
And eventually, we ask ourselves the same sort of questions. Am I a decent person? Am I useful to society? Are my parents proud of me? Does he like me?
Deep down, we all want to be good. Kind. We like to think we can make the world a better place. That we are on the right side. That even our worst actions serve some sort of higher purpose. Even if that breaches our moral code, we try to come up with excuses to justify it. It is a rationalization of cognitive dissonance. Most of us cannot live with thinking we are 'bad'.
And for those who are honest enough to see it, you either say what others wanted to hear in order to fit in, or you just shut all others out to stay away.