(no subject)
Holy Fuck.
i hate life right now, i feel like EVERYTHING is falling apart
1. the grandma issue in past entries.. blah. nothings changed
2. I am 4th chair in band.. wtf.. ive never been below 3rd in my life. the sighreading kicked my ass and i fucked it up even tho im positive i nailed the required piece that i worked hard as hell on.. ugh
3. Chemistry is kicking my ass too, i got a D overall... i study, i understand things in class.. i turn in all my homework, but the tests are k.i.l.l.i.n.g me
4. Rumors are going around, which don't bother me or get me down.. but damn highschools dumb with that shit lol
5. ex went to jail for crack.. nice and lovely i know... had to cut off all connections with him which any of you who know me killed me again (even tho it shouldnt) but damn, hope he does okay in jail or whatever happens to him. if he doesnt go to jail, wtf.. he needs to be somewhere he cant fuck up anymore. when i talked to him and told him we couldnt see eachother, talk ect ever again he totally understand which hurt even more.. he didnt put up a fight or anything he just said "your right.. if anything im greatful that i didnt fuck up your life too.. just mine.. " said have a nice life to eachother.. never to be seen again so i guess now i just have to be strong which isnt easy for me since he was my fall back guy. i dont know what im gonna do when my grandma dies, im going to feel like i 'need' him.. even tho i dont
6. i cannot get a job for anything, no where is hiring or no one will hire me.. im broke as a joke
7. I managed to NOT get into National Honor Society for reasons that are beyond me.. I can't believe i didnt get in when i put all the things that i was proud of on there.. slap in the face
8. im worried about college, and how my grades are going to look since they are slipping even tho im trying my hardest to do good.. what i want to go into doesnt have set classes.. like u wanna be a lawyer? you KNOW what classes are needed.. wtf do i do for event/wedding planning.. or is that even what i wanna go into? ugh
9. I'm back to last year when i cant fall asleep at night, back to not understanding the world and just in general being depressed and as always feel like i need a rock which.. once again i pushed away (for a good reason)
10. the only guys that are interested in me at the moment are - just looking for sex - pot heads (which im SOO over) - WAY too old (eek 26) or just in general ppl im not interested in
just sick of everything.. sorry if i bored ppl i just needed to vent
on the good side of things:
blast! is going to be at the macomb center on friday :-D
BON JOVI concert is Nov 18th..
and thats it
i hate life right now, i feel like EVERYTHING is falling apart
1. the grandma issue in past entries.. blah. nothings changed
2. I am 4th chair in band.. wtf.. ive never been below 3rd in my life. the sighreading kicked my ass and i fucked it up even tho im positive i nailed the required piece that i worked hard as hell on.. ugh
3. Chemistry is kicking my ass too, i got a D overall... i study, i understand things in class.. i turn in all my homework, but the tests are k.i.l.l.i.n.g me
4. Rumors are going around, which don't bother me or get me down.. but damn highschools dumb with that shit lol
5. ex went to jail for crack.. nice and lovely i know... had to cut off all connections with him which any of you who know me killed me again (even tho it shouldnt) but damn, hope he does okay in jail or whatever happens to him. if he doesnt go to jail, wtf.. he needs to be somewhere he cant fuck up anymore. when i talked to him and told him we couldnt see eachother, talk ect ever again he totally understand which hurt even more.. he didnt put up a fight or anything he just said "your right.. if anything im greatful that i didnt fuck up your life too.. just mine.. " said have a nice life to eachother.. never to be seen again so i guess now i just have to be strong which isnt easy for me since he was my fall back guy. i dont know what im gonna do when my grandma dies, im going to feel like i 'need' him.. even tho i dont
6. i cannot get a job for anything, no where is hiring or no one will hire me.. im broke as a joke
7. I managed to NOT get into National Honor Society for reasons that are beyond me.. I can't believe i didnt get in when i put all the things that i was proud of on there.. slap in the face
8. im worried about college, and how my grades are going to look since they are slipping even tho im trying my hardest to do good.. what i want to go into doesnt have set classes.. like u wanna be a lawyer? you KNOW what classes are needed.. wtf do i do for event/wedding planning.. or is that even what i wanna go into? ugh
9. I'm back to last year when i cant fall asleep at night, back to not understanding the world and just in general being depressed and as always feel like i need a rock which.. once again i pushed away (for a good reason)
10. the only guys that are interested in me at the moment are - just looking for sex - pot heads (which im SOO over) - WAY too old (eek 26) or just in general ppl im not interested in
just sick of everything.. sorry if i bored ppl i just needed to vent
on the good side of things:
blast! is going to be at the macomb center on friday :-D
BON JOVI concert is Nov 18th..
and thats it