"I'm ready...depression"
I feel like tonight was an omen of things to come... The races were called tonight cuz it was raining like a bitch!!!! When I got home from work it looked alright and I actually prayed that it would stop and I kept singing that Rascal Flatts song "Shine On" just hoping that it wouldn't rain... well god hates me so it rained and there was even a tornado warning in Barberton...hmmmmmmmmmm, RIGHT!!!!! So with only 2 races till his season is done and 3 left in the actual season.I have pretty much given up hope that I will ever get to even talk to Michael...afhsdkfghsdfhfsadhjfsdhg!!!!!! Why am I so jynxed that I will never ever have another guy in my life?!?!?!?! I know why cuz apperently I have done something to anger the gods of relationships and now they are just going to make my life extremly difficault!!! I just wanna jump off a building I'm so upset (Not really but that sounded good....) right now. I just thought that this one would be diffrent, not so damn difficault like that whole Ryan situation, Like I would have an easy time getting with Michael... guess not! I've just been praying alot (I know when did I get religious?...never really,I just think its good to get my feelings out of my head) that this would be worth while to start feeling like this again, to start feeling giddy and happy every Friday night and Saturday morning before the races. Guess I should have just stuck to not having a crush at the Speedway, cuz I didn't want to get crazy again...WHY?!?!?!?! God I am going to bed now cuz I cannot handle this anymore... Goodnight y'all!