(no subject)
There are some things that you think, but you never really say because you just aren't really supposed to, I think this is one of them........
I don't think that I am ever going to be truly happy, and I don't think I ever have been. I can honestly not remember the last time I was happy. I have never had a time in my life where I am laughed more that I have cried. I mean, yes I do laugh, but how often does it last? For a couple minutes? It never lasts, but when I cry it seems to last forever. I have not known a time in my life where I haven't cried. In my drunkeness I always cry;even though I have no reason to. I mean honestly, is there something I am missing in my life? I have a wonderful boyfriend, a family that loves me, I have my v-ball girls, I have friends whom I love and they love me, but what is missing? Is there something so upsetting or horrible that has happened to me? Why can't I be happy like everyone else? I mean, everyone I see seems to be happy.
I don't think that I am ever going to be truly happy, and I don't think I ever have been. I can honestly not remember the last time I was happy. I have never had a time in my life where I am laughed more that I have cried. I mean, yes I do laugh, but how often does it last? For a couple minutes? It never lasts, but when I cry it seems to last forever. I have not known a time in my life where I haven't cried. In my drunkeness I always cry;even though I have no reason to. I mean honestly, is there something I am missing in my life? I have a wonderful boyfriend, a family that loves me, I have my v-ball girls, I have friends whom I love and they love me, but what is missing? Is there something so upsetting or horrible that has happened to me? Why can't I be happy like everyone else? I mean, everyone I see seems to be happy.